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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have bollocked my mother for cutting off DS curls when she babysat today

131 replies

pinkpeppa · 14/07/2012 23:03

so I had a rare day out shopping with my sister today

mother, father and brother offered to babysit my DS 5 and DD 3. dont often see them so thought it would be a nice time for everyone.

came back to find she has taken him to the barber and all his curls have gone.

I still feel sick and upset. I shouted at her earlier this evening about it, and still really gutted she did this.

We have a strange relationship as it is, quite a lot of abuse at home towards my older sister during our adolescence, so I did doubt whether I really should leave my kids with them at all

just seems like she did it to get a reaction, which she did get

help me to calm down and forget about it! i just hope the curls grow back

OP posts:
TheUnsinkableTitanic · 14/07/2012 23:05

i am actually speechless - poor you (love the name btw)

MoonlightandRoses · 14/07/2012 23:05

The curls will grow back but no YABU to be upset about it. It was not their call to make.

Would a virtual glass of Wine help?

PerfectStranger74 · 14/07/2012 23:06

YANBU
My ds,4, has beautiful blonde curls which he gets a lot of attention for (secretly loving it) and if ANYONE touched ONE curl on his head, I'd break their arms.

From what you have said, it seems to have been done "deliberately" IYSWIM, hope they grow back, and your DS isn't too upset!

BertieBotts · 14/07/2012 23:08

That's awful :( Of course they will grow back - hopefully we'll get some warm weather now so he can appreciate not having them!

AlmostAHipster · 14/07/2012 23:08

I once employed a nanny who cut off my baby girl's curls without consulting me, so I share your outrage. It's a very rude thing to do.

McHappyPants2012 · 14/07/2012 23:08

Yanbu I would be behind furious. Baby locks do not grow back and if any one touched dd hair I would kill them

crazynanna · 14/07/2012 23:08

Dear Lord Shock

My dd would probably never speak to me again if I did that to her dcs'.

Not saying for you to do that though..not speak to her again Smile

IvanaNap · 14/07/2012 23:09

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn as this poster has privacy concerns.

Original poster
pinkpeppa · 14/07/2012 23:09

oh so very gratefully received moonlight, and thank you titanic

I told DH, who is working away, and he said it was absolutely out of order he loves DS hair, but said try not to let it ruin the trip

am
just
so
sad

thing is she's acting as though nothing happened, trying to chat to me about my shopping, making me tea...

have gone to bed without saying goodnight to any of them, typical regressive behaviour from me I know as I reside under their roof for a quick holiday, planning to stay 2 more days then leg it

OP posts:
SoleSource · 14/07/2012 23:09

YABU they'll grow back but my DS is blind so stuff like this water off a ducks back

VolAuVent · 14/07/2012 23:12

YANBU

Babylon1 · 14/07/2012 23:13

Amazed you're still there tbh, I was absolutely seething with rage when my dm took it on herself to give dd1 a trim. I didn't want her to have a fucking fringe Sad

YANBU not in the slightest, I'm actually Angry on your behalf here!

AKMD · 14/07/2012 23:13

YANBU, why would anyone think that that was an ok thing to do?

The curls will grow back though :)

Original poster
pinkpeppa · 14/07/2012 23:14

thank you everyone else

wasnt sure if I was overreacting

DS said it doesnt matter, 'nanna did the wrong thing' but he also said they werent being nice to him today, he's a sensitive boy, sounds like he had a strange day. Brought him lots of lego so he seemed ok after that

I think I'll go out all day long tomorrow somewhere nice for ice cream with DCs

avoid her like the plague tomorrow and for the next year

OP posts:
SoleSource · 14/07/2012 23:14

It is rude though.

HildaOgden · 14/07/2012 23:16

You most definitely are not being unreasonable.

If it was me,I would never,ever leave her alone with my kids again.Seriously,I wouldn't.

Original poster
pinkpeppa · 14/07/2012 23:16

all she could say when I shouted at her was 'oh I'm soooo sorry'. very very sarcastically, 'I got it wrong again'

I said, yes, you did, you are NOT his mother, you were very very wrong alright

gotta love the mother daughter relationship when it's like mine

OP posts:
ThePigOnTheWall · 14/07/2012 23:17

YANBU. How upsetting. What did she say when you bollocked her?

5madthings · 14/07/2012 23:18

ooh i would be MENTAL!! my mum often threatened to do this to my boys who all had long hair until 3ish, but she didnt as she knew she would invoke my wrath if she did! hair cutting is up to me or dp or child whne old enough to say they want it cut!

ThePigOnTheWall · 14/07/2012 23:18

Sorry, cross posted. She sounds very passive aggressive

HippoPottyMouth · 14/07/2012 23:18

" he also said they werent being nice to him today"

This bothers me more :(

Original poster
pinkpeppa · 14/07/2012 23:19

yes Hilda, I have only ever left him with them when he was 18mths, and after that time he was able to tell me in his own little way, 'nanna smack' so I told myself never again.

she's a retired teacher by the way so power trips are common with her

havent left them with her for 3 yrs, but today I thought kids would be fine, as my brother was here and would play lego with them etc

OP posts:
AThingInYourLife · 14/07/2012 23:22

You should leave tomorrow.

Why stay with someone who would do something like that?

akaemmafrost · 14/07/2012 23:23

I would not be there now. I would have bollocked her and left.

I would never leave my dc with her again.

She smacked your child? Evil Bitch.

maras2 · 14/07/2012 23:26

How bloody very dare she.What a flipping liberty.If anyone had done that to my DS(now age 30) there would've been shedding of blood.Your kid your rules.