when I say I'm sick to death of tutored kids?

[TopBoxCorbelle]

I came away from the end of year assembly having watched awards being given out for progress and achievement. Two of the winners for 'progress' and 'achievement' are frequenters of our local tutoring centre. Their parents are actually perfectly lovely people who I like and get on with, and I've actually had to drop one kid off at the tutor when I was looking after him. Now, I know I'm clearly in the minority of parents that don't tutor mine, and I'd like to point out my two got amazing grades this year so have nothing to prove BUT, I hate having to applaud the cheating parents who send their kids for extra work as I always then start wondering whether mine will start falling behind...and wether mine will need tutors in order to survive the competitive entry exams at 11. Even typing this makes me question why I'm worrying but frankly, I can't believe that the tutoring industry has a hold over me, even when I choose not to tutor. And even when I have naturally bright children who do enough work at school. Anyone else? Or am I an utter churlish witch? Should I give in now and just book one up?

If they have made loads of progress and achievement in the last year then they deserve the prizes. WOuld you feel the same if it was their parents helping them?

How is doing extra work cheating? Did usain bolt cheat at the olympics by having coaching and practicing more? Get a grip.

I feel your pain. However, I refuse to give in to tutoring as I fear that once my dc is being tutored he / she will need it for the rest of their schooling to maintain that level / advantage.

I would much rather my children worked at their natural level, feel comfortable with the level they are working at and try their best. As it is they are both fine academically, both just above average which is fine by me.

I would worry that if I had them tutored for entry into a grammar school or private school they would then be working at a level not naturally attainable to them and they would feel under pressure.

why is it "cheating"? Ultimately the kids are still producing the work and will sit the exams at 11, not their tutors or parents. They are putting in the hours of work when they'd probably rather be out playing, so at least that effort is being recognised.

Cheating?

The tutors don't tap into the child's brain with electronic probes during the night, do they?

The kids have put in a lot of extra work by the sounds of it and they deserve to be rewarded.

They got the prizes because they have progressed and achieved. If the kids have done the work themselves it can hardly be classed as cheating.
Some children are naturally gifted and don't have to work hard yet still achieve top grades. Some have to work for them. If your kids are doing well then that's great.

How is private tuition 'cheating'?

Why do you give a flying fuck about other people's children? worry about your own. Are they making progress, learning what they need to learn, and doing so in a nice environment? That's what matters.
I did get told I was strange once when I said that I didn't care how my children compare to other people's (with the ridiculous sats grades things) I just want to know if they are managing the work, putting in the effort, and being/doing the best they can. Other people are so not my concern.
Oh and why is extra work cheating? buying the answers/exam papers or rigging their marks is cheating

You may not agree with tutoring but it is hardly cheating is it?

What?!! How are they "cheating" parents?!! What exactly are they cheating at? Are parents who send their children to private school cheating parents? What about those who send their children to kumon? Why is it so bad that parents want their children to learn more and broaden their intelligence with extra tutoring?! Youre mad!

Stream of weird consciousness

If anything I'd say the school should be embarrassed about the amount of kids who have needed private tutoring.

Any school worth its salt would be asking why that is and thinking of a way to encourage extra learning at school.

God forbid any child should do extra work and be driven to succeed. Next doctors appointment ill be sure to check if they had extra tutoring or if they were a natural genius. Honestly, its not a competition, other families just do things differently to you.

Jealous much OP. How does the tutored kid make any difference to your life.

You sound bitter, we are talking about children here, direct your anger elsewhere.

What an odd thing to be getting annoyed about. Perhaps you should feel lucky you have "naturally bright children who do enough at school". Perhaps the children being tutored are naturally slow and need a bit of extra help? Looking at my DD's total lack of progress after a year of preschool and a year of Reception we may have to go down the tutoring route too later. Not to give her an advantage but to bring her up to the level of her peers.

I have nothing against people tutoring their kids but I dont have my DS tutored. He is in year 5 now so there is a tutoring frenzy for the 11+

I dont see how it is cheating though, it's just parents trying to bring the best out in their kids.

Personally I believe that if I tutored my DS specifically to get him through his 11+ then I would then have to get him tutored all the way through Grammar school just to keep up. However, if I felt he was really behind then I would have no hesitation in getting him tutored to bring him up to the level he should be at (if that makes sense)

i do think alot of the type of tutoring centres popping up do play on parental fears and believe strongly that children should enjoy their free time to do as they want. Not to be forced to sit in little cramped offices with computer programmes. Obviously sometimes a child needs extra help but certainly not to the amount I've seen such centers offer and for lots of money too!

There will be numerous varying degrees of parental help from nothing to showing an interest all the way to hiring private tutoring. Good on them.
That's life those who put in more effort generally do better.

Tutoring is not cheating. It is doing extra work, on top of the minimum that is required, to enablea child's true potential to be achieved.

Children should not need extra tutoring to reach the level they are capable of, and if they do, then it's because they are being failed by their school, not because they are cheating or their parents are paying for an advantage.

If a child does a Saturday football club is it unfair to pick him for the school team? No? Well then.
Children's lives are enhanced by out of school experiences, if that's extra academics, swimming, teamsports, or brownies. You can't penalise them for those experiences in school!
Also, the teaching staff may know nothing about it, so how could they exclude them!

My son has aspergers and going into year 4 he was only at a year 2 level for all subjects.
I got him a tutor to help him get up to scratch so he would be where he should be.

I don't give a fuck if you think its cheating

I don't see tutoring your children as 'cheating'. I think that word has negative connotations.

Some slightly disingenuous responses, I think.

Are these parents paying to have their children tutored because they believe their children could benefit from an enriched learning experience out of school?

Or because they want to make damn sure they get through those 11+ exams ahead of all the other non-tutored kids?

You are angry about the wrong thing - these children are obviously not been properly taught at school. If they are able to progress only due to the help of privately paid for tutors, then the school is failing to adequately teach these children.