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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that having a baby shouldn't mean getting rid of your cat?

150 replies

GothAnneGeddes · 09/07/2012 15:05

We're currently looking for a cat. While looking, I noticed that for the vast number of cats being rehomed, the reason given is because the owner is having a baby.

Surely it's not that hard to look after a cat and baby simultaneously? I imagine that toddlers/older children are far harder and you don't see anyone trying to rehome them?

Slightly less sarcastically, is it some sort of myth that cats and babies don't mix, or AIBU?

OP posts:
nethunsreject · 09/07/2012 15:07

It does seem odd to get rid of a pet before you even have a child, yes.

Sure, if the animal is a danger or a pest, of course they need to be rehomed, but not just for the sake of it.

eurochick · 09/07/2012 15:08

I hate it when friends get rid of pets when they have a baby. There is no need for it in the vast majority of cases (exceptions being if you breed fighting dogs or something).

UC · 09/07/2012 15:09

There are horror stories about cats going to sleep in babys' baskets and suffocating them. Personally, I think you can guard against that! I have 2 cats, neither ever showed any interest in either of my babies. Also think it's good for kids to have contact with animals. Never even considered getting rid of the cats because I was having a baby.

Kladdkaka · 09/07/2012 15:10

We had cats and babies without any bother, although the cat prayed for rehoming every night during the toddler years. He'd sit in his tiny tears outfit in the dolls pram with a look of pleading for release from his torment.

geegee888 · 09/07/2012 15:11

YANBU. Treating animals like toys you throw away when you have no further need for them is hardly a lesson you want to teach your children! OTOH children can learn so much from animals (caring for others, how to read reactions, appreciation that not only humans inhabit the planet, etc), unless there is a safety reason for re-homing, seems just like can't be bothered to me.

Emandlu · 09/07/2012 15:11

My dad walked into the living room to see our cat about to pounce on to my newborn sister.
I would never have a cat with a baby unless you could keep them separate 100% of the time.

Original poster
GothAnneGeddes · 09/07/2012 15:12

Kladkakka - That is brilliant. Grin

OP posts:
Stangirl · 09/07/2012 15:12

Same as UC. Two long haired cats here and neither had any interest in either of my babies other than to run away. DD (2.5) now loves sitting down stroking them - it's lovely to see.

strawberrypenguin · 09/07/2012 15:12

I guess it may depend on the cats personality but I personally have a cat and an 8mo and have never had a problem with my cat (she's my furry baby) and I know plenty of other people with cats and young children.

I think most of the cat/baby stuff is myth tbh I know cats like to find a warm place to sleep and I am careful not to let cat in the cot ever but having experienced cat/baby in same house I can say that cat would much rather stay out of babies way!

gordyslovesheep · 09/07/2012 15:12

YANBU - people have odd ideas about cats smothering babies - which is probably why

Like Kladdkaka though I think our cats would have liked it!

CMOTDibbler · 09/07/2012 15:19

The two cats we had when ds was born treated him with total distain and distrust, trying to keep well away from him. They were certainly no risk.

I can't see why anyone would rehome a cat just because they were going to have a baby

jubilucket · 09/07/2012 15:25

We had nets for the cots etc in case the old jublicats decided to sleep on ddtwins faces, but as a matter of fact they regarded the girls with lofty disdain. I remember discovering with joy that I was not advised to be in contact with cat faeces during pregnancy and dp has had the duty of emptying litter trays ever since!

Ormiriathomimus · 09/07/2012 15:27

YANBU. Had cats and babies in the house ever since my first was born 15 years ago. Generally the cats dislike children and keep as far away as possible.

MrsHuxtable · 09/07/2012 15:29

I'd like to see a statistic on the number of babies being smothered by cats. Doubt that it's a major factor for infant death. I think it's an old wives tale based on a few occurences maybe.

We got a rescue cat when DD was 6 weeks old and 4 months later, they are the best of friends. Well, as much as they can be at this point. The cat likes to rub herself against DD and she in turn likes to feel the cat's fur. It's lovely.
The only thing is that we don't let the cat into our bedroom at night as we co-sleep, whereas our previous cat, pre baby, slept in our bed.

All other people I know with cats and a baby report that the cat is not interested or even likes to avoid the baby.

Some people's attitude to pets just sucks though. I have a friend that runs a cat rescue and she hears the most ridiculous excuses...

One cracker was someone who had had a cat for many many years. They then got a puppy who didn't get on with the cat. They dumped the lovely old cat within days!!!!

Annunziata · 09/07/2012 15:30

YANBU, we always had cats growing up. One in particular used to guard my sister's cot, was very sweet.

LittleWhiteWolf · 09/07/2012 15:32

I have three cats who were around before the children arrived. Would have been wrong IMO to discard them. They wouldn't go near DD when she was tiny, even my very clingy female cat. As she gets older the better she is with them, and the more they like her. They all love fuss, so she's now at an age where she will happily sit and cuddle and stroke them.
The cats are a bit bolder with DS (13 weeks), by which I mean they will snuggle up on my lap if the baby is asleep on me, too.

I'm always very sceptical of tales of cats harming babies for no reason. That being said, they are animals and I do not let my cats be alone with the baby.

ScrambledSmegs · 09/07/2012 15:34

How strange, and sad. My parents had a cat when they had my brother and I. There was never any trouble despite my grandmother's dire warnings.

Sadly he had to be put down as he was very ill, and we never had another cat Sad

VegansTasteBetter · 09/07/2012 15:36

the cat is probably better off with people who care about them enough not to dump them tbh.

Mrbojangles1 · 09/07/2012 15:40

My baby in now mobile Nd the cats run for their life every time they see her coming because they know a tail pulling is on its way

Like all animals it also depends of the breed people think unlike dogs cats are all the same but just like dogs their are diffrent breeds

We have ragdolls which are very docil and love to be held unlike tabbys ragdolls go limp when held hence the name ragdolls

Babys and cats are fine you just need to train you cat just like any other pet

Mrbojangles1 · 09/07/2012 15:42

One funny story ladies cat go into the basket at the bottom of my pram i had not noticed got half way down the road with baby and i herd a meow could ruddy belive it.

BoysWillGrow · 09/07/2012 15:43

.... All being well keep your cat but.... Years ago my sister walked into her nursery to find her cat snuggled upto her newborn in his cot, so it can happen. The cat was massive compared to her baby so their is truth in it, her cat couldve easily suffocated her baby had the cat got a bit nearer to his face.
I've also found my cat asleep in my DS Moses basket a couple of times (DS wasn't in it) I went mental and really did think about rehoming him (but didn't) you can't trust any animal 100% around your children though.

drxerox · 09/07/2012 15:45

I think you have to train your baby not to pull the cat's tail

VolAuVent · 09/07/2012 15:47

YABU. Cats are too unpredictable.

lauratheexplorer · 09/07/2012 15:48

YANBU. I know there are risks but the risks can be avoided.

I also hate it when people rehome new pets because it claws a toddler etc. Well it's a cat/dog. It does that. You train them, you don't leave them alone and you are vigilant.

Knobs.

Shullbit · 09/07/2012 15:49

I have 1 cat and 1 dog. The cat is a softy with the youngest. She wriggles about next to him whilst he grabs her fur. He also sits there stroking the dog and cheekily feeds her his food. Whenever he cries, both of the animals try to get to him to check he is ok. Quite annoying for me, as I end up nearly falling arse over tit but I would still never leave them alone with him. He sleeps in his cot, and the bedroom door is kept shut at all times so they can not get to him.

The oldest actually loves both the animals and would be devastated if anything happened to them. He loves it when the cat cuddles up to him as he sleeps (he is much older than the youngest) and I am so glad that both my children will grow up around animals. I didn't, and was petrified around them till I moved in with DP's family and they had a cat and a dog.

I would never contemplate getting rid of a pet unless there was a safety issue.