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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that having a baby shouldn't mean getting rid of your cat?

150 replies

GothAnneGeddes · 09/07/2012 15:05

We're currently looking for a cat. While looking, I noticed that for the vast number of cats being rehomed, the reason given is because the owner is having a baby.

Surely it's not that hard to look after a cat and baby simultaneously? I imagine that toddlers/older children are far harder and you don't see anyone trying to rehome them?

Slightly less sarcastically, is it some sort of myth that cats and babies don't mix, or AIBU?

OP posts:
lovebunny · 10/07/2012 05:44

its an excellent idea to rehome your pets if you are having a baby. pets shed hair, spread germs and are an extra job you don't need when you're settling in to parenthood.

nooka · 10/07/2012 06:16

If that's your view you should never have pets in the first place. I don't know what the UK stats are but of the 6-8m pets taken to shelters in the US every year 3-4m are put down (so about half of them).

Springforward · 10/07/2012 06:30

Cat still with us, but I got her a cat igloo and persuaded her to live outside when DS came along.

mathanxiety · 10/07/2012 06:32

Pets can contribute to the development of a robust immune system in babies. Germs are good for babies.

pumpkinsweetie · 10/07/2012 06:46

I think as long as the pet is not dangerous or visious i cannot see one reason why you should discard your pets just because you are having a baby.
If you are ttc and are willing to do this, don't get a pet in the first place as it is very irresponsible and unfair on the pet.
Yanbu op, i have kept a dog throughout having four children, they love her unconditionally, she loves them.
Just never ever leave your pets alone with your babies/children as it is not a risk worth taking

BeatriceBean · 10/07/2012 06:56

Are cat allergies rare then? I get asthma if I'm in a house that has a cat in it (hoovering doesn't make a lot of difference). My first daughter had allergy related eczema until we moved house.

If a baby is allergic it can be the cause of horrid eczema in which case I'd rehome. Otherwise I think you teach the cat and the child to get along surely?

LST · 10/07/2012 07:01

Haha lovebunny You are kidding?

fossil97 · 10/07/2012 07:14

Assuming no allergies (which would soon become obvious) I think pets add so much to the family. It is quite nice to have something that needs hardly any looking after and is always friendly!

It was very soon obvious that our cats were not going to go anywhere near the children awake or asleep (terrified). But allegedly as a baby I frequently had a kitten sleeping at my feet in the pram.

Springforward · 10/07/2012 21:35

DS would love our cat to sleep on the end of his bed. Our cat drifts in and out these days but always stays out overnight, so it all worked out ok - she's his friend in the garden, mostly, bless the pair of them.

Morloth · 10/07/2012 21:40

My little cat died last year, she was 13 and with me through two children.

The boys adored her and she viewed them as messy pests to be avoided at all costs.

We just got a new kitten, I went to the rescue and she couldn't get enough of DS2 (which surprised me as he ran right up to her). So even though we had gone to look at/collect another cat we bought this one home.

I am still getting used to her not being my old girl, but she is just as sweet as pie.

I couldn't be without a cat.

Allergies aside I can't really see any reason to rehome a cat, they are not a danger in the same way a dog could be and just get away from the kids when they have had enough.

hiddenhome · 10/07/2012 21:44

My eldest cat used to babysit ds2 when he was a newborn. He's nearly 8 now and she sleeps in his bed and they love each other. He's never caught anything from her and it's done him good to have her around.

As long as you follow sensible hygiene precautions then there's no reason whatsoever to get rid of a cat if you're pregnant. I just used disposable gloves to empty the cat litter tray.

IMeMine · 10/07/2012 21:48

I appreciate many disagree with me but I personally would not have any cat or dog around my babies. To me, animals are simply too unpredictable- a friend's baby has been pounced on and left bleeding by their cat and I know a little girl who had her nose badly bitten by the family dog. To me, it's just too much of a risk.

seeker · 10/07/2012 21:51

My friend had to rehome our cat when her baby was born. The poor thing was completely miserable with the changes in the house, and settled happily into her new peaceful home with a sigh of relief.

NovackNGood · 10/07/2012 21:52

Why do people get so wound up about cats or dogs being put down when the owners no longer want them. After all we don't expect milk cows or pigs or any other animal to live to old age. We expect them to live until they are ready to eat or they are no longer producing. Why are pets seen as being any different. I fact the billions spent on pets could be used on health care for elderly better and if you look at the USA the money they spend on pets is horrendous considering they are the one western country who can't even provide healthcare for their citizens.

Admittedly that sounds harsh but take a second to think about it. Why should it be any different just because moggy or doggy appear more cute. Little lambs are cute too and tasty. We have disney to thanks for all that anthropomorphism. PETA make all that fuss and yet they kill around 90% of the animals they supposedly rescue. Not much of a rescue is it if you put them all down and then don't at least have the decency to use the meat or pelt. That's lie the SAS or delta force bursting into your cave where you are held hostage helicoptering you off to safety then saying take a few deep breaths f this poisonous gas will you and oh by the way heres your donor card we're ripping it up and not using anything of yours.

Mrbojangles1 · 10/07/2012 21:54

Imemine DOGS are toatally diffrent from cats

I am in my 30s and i never hard of one case in the news in mainland britan of killing a baby,child or adult

Mrbojangles1 · 10/07/2012 21:54

I mean a cat that is

Sparklingbrook · 10/07/2012 21:55

Novack I think you have gone off on a tangent that has little to do with the original question.

midori1999 · 10/07/2012 21:57

YANBU. People do it with dogs as well. In the main they are arseholes who don't take responsibility because they can't be bothered.

Magneto · 10/07/2012 21:58

Novack because cats and dogs love the people they live with, who (normally) love them back. They are like children; they trust you and rely on you for food, warmth and comfort.

WithoutCaution · 10/07/2012 22:05

YANBU - A child should grow up with pets (unless they or their parents have allergies or the pets can't cope). It's usually the children without pets who scream/ become hysterical at the mere sight of an animal. Often because the parents have unfounded fears which they project onto their children.

I never considered getting rid of any of my animals (caused a lot of arguments with MIL)

Sparklingbrook · 10/07/2012 22:08

I know a lot of children like that Without. One child came round here, Sparkling Cat was asleep on the settee, and he went off like a rocket. IS IT REAL? IS IT REAL? OH NO, OH NO!!!!

Yes it is and it was asleep but it's now awake and terrified of your shouting. Angry

Pic of terrifying feline on my profile. Click at your own risk....

MumbleMumm · 10/07/2012 22:12

We wouldn't have dreamed of getting rid of our two cats. I did however want to put some measures in place before baby got here, so had a door put on the dining room, and a cat flap put on the back door (which cost nearly £200 because of the type of door!!!!!!!). This means we can now lock them in there overnight without worrying about them.

I wasn't worried about the baby tbh - and still am not worried about my (now toddler) dd. She LOVES the cats!!

My main reason for having the work done was purely so that the cats wouldn't spend all night scratching at our bedroom door to be let in so they could sleep with us... which would have driven me absolutely insane, and woken dd who wakes at a pindrop

My hubby recently found out he has asthma - the dr told him he might need to get rid of the cats... we still aren't getting rid of the cats.

snoopyplaystennis · 10/07/2012 22:14

If you don't want to have a pet around your baby then that is of course your perogative but then clearly you should not get a pet if you are planning a family. When you bring home an animal you are responsible for it for its lifespan and a cat can live to 20 plus if you are very lucky.

Obviously as shown above there are exceptions like the bad allergies, the cat's distress that make rehoming essential but I have met a lot of people who simply got a pet because they fancied one then got rid when they had a baby and that is not acceptable.

As they used to say a pet is not just for Christmas. I find it very distressing when people do this. Pets are hard work and require a lot of responsibility so if you are not up for it don't get one, end of!

alistron1 · 10/07/2012 22:14

DS2's first word was 'cat' and when he was a crawler DCat spent many happy hours stalking/pouncing on his trouser legs. I love the way some people think cats are 'dangerous' beasts to be kept away from kids at all costs. My kids have had more savaging from hamsters, not cats.

BlingBubbles · 10/07/2012 22:14

I have a BiG ginger pussy cat and little dog, my 11 month old Dd loves them to death, in fact she says dog and cat and has yet to say mum Envy

My cat completely ignored her for 6 months and then decided he would come over and see what she was all about. Now that she is on the move pussy cat stays on top of the counters and tables. Poor things.