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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that having a baby shouldn't mean getting rid of your cat?

150 replies

GothAnneGeddes · 09/07/2012 15:05

We're currently looking for a cat. While looking, I noticed that for the vast number of cats being rehomed, the reason given is because the owner is having a baby.

Surely it's not that hard to look after a cat and baby simultaneously? I imagine that toddlers/older children are far harder and you don't see anyone trying to rehome them?

Slightly less sarcastically, is it some sort of myth that cats and babies don't mix, or AIBU?

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 09/07/2012 15:51

I had two babies while we had our old cat. The DSs and the cat grew up to be the best of friends. I wouldn't have considered getting rid of her. Sad

SpagboLagain · 09/07/2012 15:52

YANBU
Ridiculous. You just don't leave them alone together. With newborns it's for the sake of the baby. With toddlers is for the sake of the cat!

Doingthedo · 09/07/2012 15:52

ridiculous, my MIL suggested I get rid of my cat when I was pregnant (because she just doesn't like them). I opted to get 2 more instead!

lunchbox · 09/07/2012 15:53

At the risk of being flamed but we rehomed our cat when I was pg with dd1, my gp told me I had to, and I didn't think to question it.

Tbf though, the cat is much happier now (shes with a relative) and able to go outside whereas he was a frustrated indoor cat before, we lived next to a busy dual carriageway and she would probably have ended up getting run over.

LtEveDallas · 09/07/2012 16:02

MILs cat used to curl up in the basket underneath DDs pram within minutes of us getting to the house. She got into the pram once, but not when DD was in it. She did get into the travel cot a few times, but I was never worried as she only ever curled up at the opposite end to DD.

She was a cantankerous old bugger that attacked every member of the familiy for no reason - except DD. Right up until she went she never scratched or bit DD - and this was a cat that would attack you just for walking past it - and made my Mutt so terrified of cats that she cowers from every one she meets! (I'm sure all the other dogs laugh at MuttDog - poor old bullied puppy)

mowbraygirl · 09/07/2012 16:16

My DD had 2 cats when GD 1 was born they were never any problem. The male cat used to sit on the sofa when my daughter was bf and prop up GD feet on his head. When she was in her moses basket he used to sleep under it and when she woke up started meowing for my DD.

We have a video of him lying under the play gym on his back playing with the little mobile things hanging down. When GD was just walking he used to sit in her little toddle truck and she used to push him around the garden was so sweet. Sadly when GD was 18 months old he died he was such a lovely cat.

The other cat didn't take a lot of notice of her as long as she could sit on the sofa undisturbed. She is now nearly 15 and still not fussed about the two GD's.

wfhmumoftwo · 09/07/2012 16:19

We had 2 cats when my son was born and i took extra care to ensure they could not get in his room at night when he was a baby so there was little risk of them smothering them. I did not think for a minute to get rid of the cats.
One of them took a shine to my son from Day 1 and would always be near him. As my DS got older the cat would sleep next to him, under his cot, etc and now my DS is nearly 6 the cat still sleeps on his pillow in bed each night and my son loves her to peices!
Both my children love them and take pride in feeding them, brushing them etc and know aleays to be nice to them. When we booked a holiday last year my son (then 4) said, we can;t go away as who will feed the cats!
Personally i think its lovely

Psammead · 09/07/2012 16:21

Our cat apparently saw no practical use in DD and therefore completely ignored her. Never ever had a problem with him. We had him PTS due to his health and tbh towards the end, it was DD who was terrorising him, given half a chance. Je was not particularly friendly, but he never attacked her.

onewetdogowner · 09/07/2012 16:28

Stating the obvious here but both cats and dogs are not humans. They don't play by our rules. That said, I have a cat and a dog. I manage the situation. It's not hard and perfectly possible to have pets and babies.
My cat and dog are part of my family. I would never get rid of them because they add a little bit extra work.

So, YANBU!

Kayano · 09/07/2012 16:29

I have a baby and 2 cats. They are all important members of the family

GrahamTribe · 09/07/2012 16:31

YANBU. There's far more chance of your baby growing into a toddler and hurting the cat than there is the cat hurting the baby. People's casual attitudes to animals sicken me, I absolutely despise anyone who would get rid of/has got rid of a pet just because they're having/have had a baby.

PastaLadyHasNameChangedForThis · 09/07/2012 16:32

I also have a baby and two cats. infact, dd now says "cat" at 6.5mo.

They keep just out of arms length and steal her linking rings to play with.

Migsy1 · 09/07/2012 16:32

YANBU - I had 2 cats when all of my kids were babies. I had a net for the crib and kept the door shut when the babies were asleep. None of my children came to any harm.

It really annoys me when people re-home their cats when they are having a baby. I guess it is just an excuse to get rid of a pet they can't be bothered with any more.

GinPalace · 09/07/2012 16:39

I think it is the stories of warmth loving cats curling up for a snooze on the babies head (warmest part of the body) when baby can't do much about it and your back is turned.

It's a risk, but so are lots of things, the key is to be aware of what the risks are and manage them as you would any other. you can get cat covers for moses baskets which are like mosquito nets and stop the cat doing that, probably gives you peace of mind as much as anything. I think it is natural for parents to worry about their babies.

BabeRuthless · 09/07/2012 16:40

We had a cat who ran off after ds was born. He was a really nervous cat & a couple of days after I went into hospital started weeing on the floor & was never the same after that. It broke my heart when he left & I never considered re-homing him even though he was a nightmare with the weeing.

Five years on & we have an amazing rescue cat who is best mates with ds. He's a proper part of the family after only a few months & I can't imagine being without him.

OhDearNigel · 09/07/2012 16:47

A google search seems to show the last cat + baby misadventure being in 1791 with a cat "sucking the breath from a baby".

Old wive's tale

KirstyJC · 09/07/2012 16:48

We never considered it a problem when we were expecting DS1, then when he was 2 weeks' old the cat attacked him, bit him just above his eye and went back for another go. I dread to think what she would have done if I hadn't managed to catch her in mid-air as she leapt on him.Sad

She was rehomed to a colleague of DH's the next day (after being kept out of the house all night as I couldn't bear to have her back in) and she lived the rest of her days in a child-free house, happy as anything to be lady of the manor.

When DS3 was 7 months we got another cat from a rescue, having specifically asked for one who was good with noisy families. He is an absolute joy, so patient with the kids and they love him. He has scratched them all a couple of times when they ignored our warnings and his clear signals, but I would expect this and part of having him is for them to learn how to treat animals.

Mrsjay · 09/07/2012 16:52

cats apparently smother babies Confused what a load of tosh and a lot of people still think like that, I think it is sad people dont consider keeping cats when baby comes along,

LST · 09/07/2012 16:52

I have 3 cats and an 8 mo. I've never had a problem. People who get rid of then because of stupid, preventable reasons are daft IMO.

noddyholder · 09/07/2012 16:53

A couple of my friends did that I never understood it.

Kitty5824 · 09/07/2012 17:00

Our cats have been no problem, other than not understanding why they are not the centre of our universe anymore.

I've found one of the cats asleep at the other end of the cot once, but not when DS is in it. He thrashes about too much I think Wink

As with everything I guess it depends on the cat and the baby.

I would however love to be able to leave food out to cool before freezing without having to hide it somewhere out of reach.....

steben · 09/07/2012 17:01

We have cats and would never have considered it - like other posters have said though I am sure our lovely boys pray for re-homing as toddler DD races round after them (although her latest thing is just to scream at them while they are sleeping Confused - an activity we are trying to stop). They have never touched her despite her being a bit rough on occasions when they have let her get close enough. Pets are part of the family IMO or what is the point of having them?!

FutureNannyOgg · 09/07/2012 17:06

We have 2 cats, would never have thought of rehoming them. I used the poo excuse to make litter tray duty DH's permanent chore Grin it's the one thing he will always do now!
The cats did want to sleep in baby things (car seat, pushchair) but we always kept them out of the bedroom regardless so they never got near the cot. I have a crib for downstairs ready for DC2, as I figure with a toddler I might need my hands free more, I have a cat net for that, which might also keep DS out (I can hope)
DS loves the cats, "cat" was his first word, and they are ever so soft and put up with him rugby tackling them, they are perfectly capable of keeping out of his way if it bothered them.

GinPalace · 09/07/2012 17:25

MrsJay cats smothering babies isn't total tosh, it has happened in reality. If a cat curled up on your babies head it would be a problem. But it is just one of zillions of things which could happen, is rare, and you just keep in mind and don't allow. It depends on the cat, some cats are real warm spot seekers and others aren't.

Latara · 09/07/2012 17:33

Pets should never be sent to a rescue shelter just because their owner is pregnant - it's cruel to the pet.

Pet owners should take some precautions to keep their baby safe.

My parents had a cat when i was a baby - my Mum always put a net over the pram to stop our cat (or neighbours' cats) from sleeping in the pram.

It's true that cats & dogs like to sleep next to or on humans for warmth & / or company - i have actually been in bed recently & woke to find my 4.5kg cat was trying to lie on my neck!!! She was quite determined to lie close as possible & very difficult to shift!

So I would never leave an uncovered pram or even a young child (or very frail elderly person) in a bed where a cat or dog had unsupervised access to try to suffocate them by mistake.

Also cats & dogs are unpredictable around babies & young children - they can attack whether provoked or not.
Often it depends on the pet's background.

My rescue cat is terrified of toddlers because her previous owner's children tormented her. She tried to attack a neighbour's son when she was cornered (I have warned the all the neighbours not to try to stroke her; & tell them to chase her away if she's near their children.)

As a child i was taught not to tease dogs or cats.
I learnt the 'warning signs' that show when a cat is angry or scared & likely to lash out.

A friend visited with a weeks-old baby boy; when he started crying she tried to stalk him like he was potential prey. It was scary. The vet thinks she wasn't 'socialised' as a kitten, so doesn't know what babies are..

The same friend has 4 dogs - one of them is unsafe to leave with babies as it gets very jealous & would attack.

Basically it's the parents responsibility to be aware of the potential dangers & to never leave a pet alone with a baby or toddler.
Also if you own a pet & know that it could attack a child or baby then you should warn people (& in my cat's case i don't let her out unless i'm at home to supervise her).