To think that having a baby shouldn't mean getting rid of your cat?

[GothAnneGeddes]

We're currently looking for a cat. While looking, I noticed that for the vast number of cats being rehomed, the reason given is because the owner is having a baby.

Surely it's not that hard to look after a cat and baby simultaneously? I imagine that toddlers/older children are far harder and you don't see anyone trying to rehome them?

Slightly less sarcastically, is it some sort of myth that cats and babies don't mix, or AIBU?

We had a cat, and then about ten years later, we had a baby. It never even crossed my mind that the two were incompatible. Neither of us have allergies so we assumed that the baby would be fine. (And they both are.) My MIL was a bit iffy about it and bought both her children (both of whom had cats and then babies) pram nets. Mine went straight to the NCT sale as I knew my moggy wouldn't ever come near DS1 in his moses basket. She treated him with a mixture of suspicion and disdain. (His moses basket or car seat when he wasn't in them, on the other hand - I was always turfing her out.)

DS1 grew up knowing how to be gentle to animals and how not to scare them or hurt them.

On the other hand, my cat definitely did become demoted in my priorities. I felt as if she was constantly underfoot. She always had been , but with a baby/toddler too, she was quite irritating. We would never have got rid of her, but I still mourn the fact that DS1 sort of replaced her in my affections. She died a couple of years ago.

We have a new toddler now and DS1 is desperate to get a cat. I'm holding off because DS2 hasn't grown up with them and I'm worried he'll maul a small cat or kitten.

Gin Palace - please can you give an example of an actual, real life case because I have researched this quite thoroughly (over protective GPs) and I couldn't find a single case of cat smothers baby anywhere on the internet.

I've always had cats, and none of my 4 DCs have suffered more than a bat of the paw when they pulled a cat's tale once too often. If you are worried about the cat smothering teh baby you can buy nets to go over the crib/cot.

You do have to be careful with cats and babies, I agree, the same way you have to be careful with kettles and babies, and hot pans and babies. It's worth it though. The bond between my DS and the old cat is a joy for both of them. DS is 15, old cat is 17.

YANBU -I'm sitting here now with my 8 wo on my lap and my 14 yo cat curled up next to us. I was very watchful when bringing DD home to see how cat would react, and like others have said he's just not interested! I think then it depends on your car's personality but yanbu to think a new baby doesn't auto have to mean the cat has to go....

Had no one considered the cats preference?? I had two rescue cats whom i really adored, who specifically were meant for a home with no young children. I had been told i was unlikely to ever conceive children, an as we could never afford IvF i figured i would be a suitable home for then cats. After 3 years i found myself expecting DS. I figured tht the cats would be well adjusted by then having lived in a loving family for 3 years and having encountered children. When DS was born both cats started off ok however the more active and noisy he became the more stressed the cats were. They had a flea infestation which they couldnt fight as the vet said the stress was affecting their immine system, they began to Vomit (due to the many flea treatments we tried i personally think) they were never really in and were clearly miserable

We made the decision to rehome them for their benefit, they are flourishing and happy in their new home with an lovely elderly couple. so before you condemn all rehomers why not consider those who do so for the animals welfare not every just cant be arsed!

I've had to spend many weeks helping a friend with a small DC who is terrified that her cat is going to claw the baby to death - said cat is one of those animals who just likes to be left alone and stays as far away from the baby as possible, in no way a risk to him.

When my DD was small, I caught our cat in the cot with her a handful of times - although she was curled up next to her, she wouldn't go anywhere near her face, as soon as DD snuffled or moved an inch the cat would leap out of the cot. Cats like to curl up next to somebody who doesn't move, not a wriggly baby. I don't believe most of the hysterical 'cats smother babies' stories.

Incidently, DD was scratched on the head by our cat this morning. DD got the telling off, she was tormenting poor kitteh and got a scratch for her trouble. I've been told I'm nuts for taking this stance - as if a child has the right to torment an animal and if the creature retaliates it makes them a danger to the child. DD will have to learn, our cat is as much a part of the family as she is.

Also agree re cats not posing a huge risk for Smothering. In many cases where smothering has been reported the autopsy has shown sids.. The cats have simply been trying to Comfort and warm The child. I have a friend who would leave her cat in the same room as he DS, and still does, (he has CP which means he couldnt fend the cat of if necessary) whilst i think that fool hardy the cat has never harmed the baby.

We took in a stray when DS was 1 (hard decision given previous rehoming before anyone flames me! But local refuge was full wouldnt take him said to leave him to it - he had clearly been rejected an i think would Of died) i dont know if it is the temperament or the age but the boy and the cat are best friends. He (dcat) puts DS to bed every night. I won't be allowing him in our room when DC2 (pregnant) is born and we are sleeping, as i dont want to confuse him and dont want cat hair in crib, and just wouldn't tempt him, but other than that i dont have any fears, will just be using logic same as with DS who will pose more risk!

I had 2 beautiful cats that I adore. All through my pregnancy relatives were telling me to rehome them as they would be bad for my baby (they were indoor cats). I refused as I thought that they were very much part of our family too.
However by the time by baby was 9 weeks old it was very clear that he was allergic to the cat hair, he has eczema and the cat hair violently irritated it. No matter how many times I hoovered a day it didn't help :(

I decided that my babies health and comfort was more important than the cats, so they would have to be rehomed, however I refused to just dump them on a shelter where I couldn't be sure who would take them. I hunted and hunted until I found a house bound lady that wanted a pet as company and she promised to keep them together(they're sisters).
I cried as they left and my flat still feels empty without them, but I know they are somewhere where they will be loved and my sons skin is loads better.
I agree that getting rid of animals before the baby is born is ridiculous but sometimes you have to once the child is here, because no matter how much we love our animals surely our babies are more important?

We have had two cats for 8 years, and DS1 is 12 weeks old. I was determined not to rehome unless it ended up being impossible, such as a situation where the cats were extremely unhappy, as a PP said her experience was.

I have heard of people rehoming, and tbh the reason to me never seemed enough, but maybe they have a different relationship with their cats than I do. Someone upthread said their GP told her to rehome and they did it without question, that seems strange to me because to me my cats are part of our family and I wouldn't part with them unless I really had no other option.

As it is, the cats have been surprisingly unfussed by it all. One of them was my little baby, and used to sit on my lap at all times. I thought she'd struggle with it, but she hasn't at all. Obviously they are still animals, and we are careful, we don't allow them into the baby's room, keep the door shut when he's sleeping in there. The rest of the time we are with the baby mostly, but even if we weren't, they really give him a wide berth anyway.

I'm glad he'll have the opportunity to grow up around animals, it's so important. And when if he gets scratched when he's tormenting them later on, then that's an important lesson to learn - you must recognise the signs if animals are getting stressed, and respect their boundaries!

kenyansunrise that is so sad, I'd be devastated if that happened to me. Of course in that situation there was no other option for you.

What bollocks!! Our cats are members of the family. All my children adore them. How horrible to cast off a pet in this way.

What vile parents they will make.

Of course Kenyan had no choice and that's obvious. Poor you.

reading what BB said above about giving her cat away - i agree sometimes it can be best for the animal too.

we adopted a cat and on her file in BIG letters it said No Small Children.

she had obviously had problems before so as we have no intention of having kids we took her in and she seems v content with us.

knowing her personality (and seeing how fast she vanishes when children visit) she would not be happy with kids around and i would not trust her to be nice to them - she is v boisterous and can be quite bad tempered if bothered when she's not in the mood. She's got weapons and isn't afraid to use them.

i think it's down to the temperament of the cat a lot of the time.

YABU. I wouldn't want a cat around my baby. What if it got into the baby's cot? Cat's claws are sharp!

Thebody - are you insinuating i am
A poor parent? Or kenyan? As in both cases we had no choice. Yours is the type of sweeping generalisation that frankly boils my piss!!

I think it can be kinder to the cat, but only after baby starts chasing & pulling. :)

I spoke to a lady who took in Ragdolls as rescues (she had 6 or so). She felt many were purchased by (dim) childless couples who wanted a Posh and dim cat & then couldn't really cope with mere idea of baby+cat. Ridiculous, but some people have very silly expectations.

Let me know if you run out of cotton wool, Peazly

One of my rescue cats was a case of new baby booted out. That was 12 years ago and she's still soldiering on having moved up and down the country with me and eventually in with dm because I went abroad. Apparently the husband of the pregnant lady was a gp and out his foot down . She has been our gain though and ironically is a good as gold with dd who has learnt to be very polite and gentle with her. We have never had sleeping in the cot issues when I stay there either.
I want a cat but rescue places reluctant to let me have one because I'm pg. it's ok I can wait

Cats are mini lions.

3 cats and 1 baby here

The baby adores the cat. The cats treat the baby with utter disdain and ignore the poor mite utterly :(

I completely agree getting rid of cats because you are having a baby is unfounded. Lots seems to do it though...

Although one of them did give him a good scratch once when he was roughly stroking him, despite us constantly telling him (and showing him how) to be gentle

My reaction was not "oh I must re-home the cat" but "well, he needs to learn to be gentle and that if he isn't he's going to get scratched"

It shouldnt but needs must and humans come above animals imo. both my much loved female cats(who i hasten to add id spents £100s on vacs, micro chipping them, neutering them etc) had to be rehomed when i had my dd, for some reason when i fell pregnant they started peeing EVERYWHERE, in the kids beds, in my bed, on the carpets. I tried everything to stop them, individual litter trays, feliway, cleaning the areas with surgical spirit etc etc but nothing whatsoever worked. The final staw was when they peed on top my cooker hob, exdp didnt notice and turned the hob on= flat filled with the aroma of heated cat pee.

They were beautiful cats but i could not let that behaviour continue, especially peeing in the kids rooms and on their beds, they had to go. As it was 2 days after being on a waiting list they went and i think due to the fact they were well looked after and already vacs and chipped, they were rehomed within 10 days.

Apparently it is something to do with cats being able to smell the pheramones(sp?) we give off, which change again whilst we are pregnant.

Bizarrely i add, my male cat did not display the same behaviour, he stayed.