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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that women are stupid?

534 replies

lovebunny · 06/07/2012 05:57

elsewhere, there is a complaint about being unsupported when breastfeeding. this is a feminist issue - and the fault lies fairly and squarely at the feet of women.

i am astounded that after the battles fought in the seventies and eighties, women have allowed such regression.

look how stupid women are today. they have their bodies surgically adapted to men's fantasies - breasts enlarged, labia trimmed - they bleach their hair, tattoo their eyeliner and lipstick and have themselves spray-painted. they remove their pubic hair so they look like children for their (multiple) partners. if you read about it in a book on social anthropology you'd be horrified at the 'oppression' of women. but women think they are choosing this!

then they say 'oh, its not fair, no-one supports me when i'm breastfeeding'. too damn right they don't. because you and your compatriots have allowed everyone to see you as barbie dolls to use and abuse. they don't want to see you being women, being grown up, feeding your babies, that spoils the fantasy. you created this; live with it.

when you've finished screaming at me about your 'rights' to have your mons pubis decorated with fake jewels and to have your isabella piercing, organise yourselves.

wash your faces, let the fake tan fade, cut off your dyed hair and let it grow back naturally, so your babies can recognise the human being their genetic memory was expecting to find here. stay free from chemicals that mask your natural odours, so your babies can recognise you by smell. if people are pressurising you to 'go back to work' say, 'certainly. when this baby chooses to stop breastfeeding'. that gives you four to five years at home, maybe longer, when you are doing something no-one else can - being your babies' mothers.

the 'male' has been accepted as the 'norm' in society - so some early feminists wanted to be like men - some of that lingers. but feminists who believe in the strength and value of the female, have retreated into hiding. wake up! speak up! these are your daughters, sisters, aunts, even your mothers tarting themselves up and whoring themselves out to all and sundry trying to be 'wives and girlfriends'! they're too stupid to realise they've been conned!

educate your daughters. make them aware of political and societal manipulation. make women free - free from pressure to look a certain way, behave a certain way. free, in fact, to be women. free to want to eat without guilt, work, reproduce, raise children, form partnerships, find contentment and find peace of mind.

don't leave this to someone else. if strong women don't act to make the world a better place for women, no-one will. and in twenty years' time, i'll be reading 'oh, society doesn't support breast-feeding mothers'. again.

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 07/07/2012 21:13

When DS was tiny I stopped wearing deodarant I was breast feeding and didn't want the chemicals going into his mouth when he fed

That is one time I can tell you my grooming regime was absolutley about doing things for a man. Albeit a very tiny one Grin.

lovebunny · 07/07/2012 21:49

aww!

OP posts:
crescentmoon · 07/07/2012 21:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NowThenWreck · 07/07/2012 22:27

Well. I don't wear deodorant-havent for years, and you do smell bad when you first stop, but after a while your body adjusts and you actually smell less.

I also have a hairy muff. I never think about what men think. I have slept with a few (multiple!) twenty something men in the last few years and they have not run screaming from the room.

I hardly ever get the chance to wear heels, but sometimes get out a pair of loverly shoes from my massive stash and walk around my house in them, just because I luffs them.

Make up is my war paint. It makes me feel more confident.

All these things I do for myself. For most women it is a pick and mix of styles and choices that feel right for them.
Yes, the extreme Geordie Shore type of look is fairly widespread, BUT that is simply a sub culture. The men in in are just as buffed, tanned and hairless as the women.

And, while here in the deep North, the un-natural look is rife, the women sporting it are loud, lairy, and by God do they wear the trousers! (OP, have you ever met a Northern girl?? The men don't get a word in!

It is terribly insulting to assume that any woman is "stupid" based on the way she looks, and even more so to suggest that she is less of a mother if she doesn't follow your very prescribed and narrow way of looking and being.

And actually, whether you like the current fashions or not, there is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to attract a man. I am hetero, and fancy men. Ergo, I want to attract them, and have sex with them.
Oh, but you seem to have a problem with women enjoying sex too, don't you?

I am a feminist-have been since birth-and I can have it both ways, actually. I can have it any fucking way I like.

MissFaversam · 07/07/2012 22:47

well if im classed as "stupid" I like it Grin

lovebunny · 07/07/2012 22:57

oh dear. still no rofl smiley.

OP posts:
DuelingFanjo · 07/07/2012 23:27

Actually - up to the breastfeeding bit - you have my full support. but then I don't shave and pluck and all that other shit that some women think is normal.

DuelingFanjo · 07/07/2012 23:29

"so you'd rather all women were wandering around dishevelled, unwashed, unshaved legs etc, messy hair, no makeup?"

erm, sorry

but the oP said "they have their bodies surgically adapted to men's fantasies - breasts enlarged, labia trimmed - they bleach their hair, tattoo their eyeliner and lipstick and have themselves spray-painted. they remove their pubic hair so they look like children for their (multiple) partners"

how have you translated that to mean "dishevelled, unwashed, unshaved legs etc, messy hair, no makeup"?

garlicbutter · 07/07/2012 23:56

Well replied, Dueling.

Also this from Pubes: I don't find it more comfortable and clean, it just stops people from going 'ew' on the bus.

I've just finished a 2-year experiment of not removing any of my body hair. I was pretty horrified to realise I didn't actually KNOW how my own legs really look! It took almost a year for my personal level of full hairiness to develop (am a waxer). Last summer I floated around with furry legs and pits ... but bottled out of flashing the underarms, so wore sleeves except in the garden. My garden's overlooked from the street so it wasn't a total cop-out, but still Blush

The only people who even looked twice at my legs were the sort of twunts who would look critically at any female. It turned out to be a complete non-statement, except in my own mind! My own mind is still conditioned, though, so I'm waxing again this year. At least I know what my own body's really like. And that nobody cares Wink

I didn't smell, I washed. I carried wet wipes in case I got a bit hot while out. It doesn't feel any different, even in silky or clingy clothes. Actually, the silky ones felt a bit nicer since my hairs were feeling the swish. I'm sure people did notice, but it clearly didn't matter much.

Hownoobrooncoo · 08/07/2012 00:06

So we are not conditioned to conform or feel ashamed about our natural selves? Remember the pics of Julia Roberts hairy armpits? How many papers and how many closeups with the offending pits circled and blown up? Same if some female star dares to have an underm sweat patch. Of course we do it all for ourselves, not being forced or shamed to conform at all.

SecretPlace · 08/07/2012 07:54

People have ignored nowthenwreck s post. Conveniently.

And dueling, I think that was mentioned because the OP was talking about social norms and why we do them. Why do we brush our hair? Why do we wash? Etc.

hownoo I don't read that crap, and I don't give a flying feck about circled sweat patches or even camel toes. I don't care what other people do.

I'd rather do what I do, than be oppressed by yours, the OPS's, Krumbums and a few others views.

In fact someone made a point about how you're also conditioned, just in a different way. No-one is completely 'free'. We are all influenced. The difference is we arent whinging and acusing you of being shit mothers and all that.

SuddenlyMadameGlamour · 08/07/2012 07:59

Ok so because some other woman, not me, has had their labia trimmed, I don't deserve support for breastfeeding?

And I want to go back to my successful career that I love, but I shouldn't because I should stay at home and breastfeed for 5 years?

Are you a man? You seem too anti women to be a woman. If everyone in the world has such extreme dogmatic views as you the world would be such a lovely tolerant place. Not.

Scrounginscum · 08/07/2012 08:00

I can't reply properly I'm too busy laughing at the idea of anyone viewing me as a Barbie doll.

SecretPlace · 08/07/2012 08:05

I previously said if women were daft enough to do it for men than that's their own faults. In thinking, that's not entirely true. We are programmed to look make ourselves attractive to the opposite sex. We are animals foremost and that's what animals to, it's their goal to find a mate and breed. There's examples of if throughout the animal kingdom. There's one bird that adorns itself with stuff it's found.

That still doesn't take away from the fact some of us go against this and do it for ourselves.

Bumperlicious · 08/07/2012 08:31

A bit late to the thread, but as others have said, isn't one of the main tenets of feminism that women have been conditioned to feel the need to do all these things by the patriarchy. To blame women for it seems very counterintuitive and anti feminist.

And women don't get breastfeeding support for lots of reasons, but I don't think it's because they are vajazzled.

crescentmoon · 08/07/2012 08:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lovebunny · 08/07/2012 08:40

i blame women for choosing surgery to adapt their physical form. i blame women for not giving their daughters (and other women) the strength to fight this. i blame women for letting those gains made be lost. i blame women for not creating a society in which breastfeeding is normal and commonplace.

OP posts:
Latara · 08/07/2012 08:40

I didn't bother to re-wash the dishes, mugs etc no-one need ever know

But i am wearing anti-perspirant deodorant. Because sweat does smell when it's dried; so i prefer not to sweat.
My Nan remembered wearing dresses in the 1930s & 1940s... with sweat pads (like shoulder pads but fitted UNDER the arms to soak up the sweat... before antiperspirant was invented / affordable). Lovely image that brings to mind.

Re: chemicals - i don't care. I have to take enough mind-altering body-damaging medication so a few extra chemicals really won't matter.

PS: if you want to avoid gastric flu - drink coca-cola. It really works! Grin

catgirl1976 · 08/07/2012 08:42

Well you shouldn't lovebunny

You've got it all wrong I'm afraid.

Do you blame yourself? You are a woman after all?

Latara · 08/07/2012 08:45

Crescent - i agree. Why can't men make more effort?! My cat has tom cats fighting over her because i brush her long fur daily to make her look prettier & she's neutered fgs!
What do i get, after i've bothered to dress up & put make up on? I get the (now separated) stupid neighbour (who is old enough to be my dad) drunkenly shouting 'i love you' across the fence.
And, erm, that's it. :(

worldgonecrazy · 08/07/2012 09:08

Actually if you really want to attract men you should not wear perfume or deodorant as they can mask the body's chemical sexual attraction signals.

fallingwater · 08/07/2012 09:11

Agree wit hall the lovely ladies, your OP is terribly ANTI-WOMEN and if you call yourself a feminist then you need help, IMHO.

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers · 08/07/2012 09:13

YAB astoundingly U.

imnotmymum · 08/07/2012 09:16

Yes women are stupid making sweeping judgements on women!

SuddenlyMadameGlamour · 08/07/2012 09:19

I wonder if the op cleans her teeth? Or would that just be bowing to social pressure to have undecayed teeth?