am I being shallow or is he an unchivalrous loser?

[jadebond007]

Soooooo...

I've been seeing this chap for about three months now. I really, really like him, but I'm put off by his lack of gentlemanliness.

Here's some examples:

We went to the chip shop. He made me give him a pound towards my meal. The chip man asked two chips and he replied no just one to share. The portion size was bullshit.

I'm on a healthy eating diet. He constantly buys me chocolate bars and really tries to push them on me. Like, I say no thanks, and he scoffs and says well I'm just going to leave it right next to you and we'll see what happens.

I showed him a video on youtube. He said, have you got any other awful videos to abuse me with.

He only walks halfway to meet me or pick me up from anywhere. If I have to get a taxi because it's late, he lets me pay for it. Oh, I think he once gave me half the fare.

We went out for a meal last night. I deliberately choose

You both sound like idiots.

Ooh that reminds me of ANOTHER thing. He got a text from his ex girlfriend last night. He told me that she was texting because she wants the tenner he owes her back.

You know how old his ex was? 23!

I smell bullshit.

You are both 12 aren't you? Meeting at his house and going out to buy a double decker :o

One minute you say you don't go on dates, the next you talk about buying meals out - which is it?

To be honest, I'd like it if he more than returned the favour and paid like 70/30 of everything, but that's just me.

Why?

It's not really clear from your OP - are you saying that you are always the one paying when you go out, or are you saying that you're always going halves but he never offers to pick up the whole tab?

We had chips because he will only eat crap. Ditto the Chinese and the chocolate.

He ate a prawn for the first time yesterday. I repeat, he is 31 years old.

There is no chance that I'm just being a numpty is there? Well, maybe a bit with the buying things, but I think 70/30 is a fair compromise in an early days relationship! :o

I'm 28. :( :o I have a nice handbag and a hairdo! And I'm being taken to the corner shop for a double decker. Oh god!

Ive never eaten a prawn and Im 43.

Ok, so say I dump him now. What do I say? Do I tell him the truth so he's got a heads up or make something up?

I really do like him. These are just his bad points. Apart from this, he's a really nice guy.

LIES, Cocole!! :o

So when have you been picking up the bill in restaurants to try the "this ones on me , next one is your turn" trick if you don't go on dates?

you've only been dating 3 months - it shouldn't be this hard

Just tell him you're just not that into him

Squeakytoy:Have we been transported back to 1950 here > Or travelled 'forwards' to the school holidays?

He sounds weird to me.

I would run a mile.

But since you love him - be upfront and say, gently, you don't find these traits romantic and see what his reaction is. Because if he's tight now, it's only going to get worse, much worse. Today, it's fish and chips, tomorrow it'll be bills and rent/mortgage etc and the impact will be much worse.

Give him the benefit of 'inexperience', talk openly with him - That'll help you decide.

Agree the man should usually pay.....on a date though!! Not if you go the corner shop and you each get a Mars bar!

My experience of a tight and controlling man. Its post no 91 written by Dark Lady (me) on this MSE thread.

forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2690837&highlight=is+this+miserly+or+just+moneysaving&page=5

Why shouldn't you pay for your own taxis if it's your fault you're late? Just because he's the man and you're the woman doesn't mean he has to pay for everything.

This is going to sound really awful, but I know he'll react really badly if I say anything negative about him.

His teasing is mean

Or to put it another way, HE is mean.
And his diet is unhealthy
And he's unkind
And stingy
And very childish
And into game playing
And sabotaging your efforts at taking care of yourself.

And if he's like this in the honeymoon phase, it will only go downhill. He may have a sparkling and witty sense of humour and be very entertaining in the pub but he sounds an awful, awful proposition as an OH.

The reason ive put this link up is because the man you are dating is showing these signs OP.
I suspect if you 2 got serious he is the sort who will expect everything split down the middle whatever you are earning.
There was a thread on the Relationships board last week where the OPs DP had all the bills split equally down the middle leaving the DP with 150 pounds a week spends and the OP with £10.

I suspect the man you are dating OP would do the same.

Oh my God, carernotasaint! He sounds dreadful! Did he start off that bad or get worse over time?

Why should he pay?

Anyway, if you're having problems now they're not going to magically disappear. Ou have different ideas on things so why other carrying on. Sound some other mug to pay for everything.

:o at nice handbag and hairdo.
This is going nowhere but downhill op, move on.