To not give bj to dh when I don't feel like sex?

[bushymcbush]

Let me make it clear now, my DH doesn't expect or even ask me to do this. I am asking this because I have noticed on a couple of relationships threads that some women 'service' their DPs in this way when they don't want sex themselves.

I have a real problem with this concept. Oral sex is as much a sex act as intercourse is to me. If I perform oral on my DH, it is part of a mutually satisfying experience - I do it to him because I am horny and it gives me pleasure to give him pleasure, iyswim. And I will get my just desserts too

The idea of all these women giving cold bj's to their partners, not for their mutual enjoyment but just to stop him pestering them, fills me with horror tbh.

Is it just me?

DITD, you are misrepresenting what I said for some reason

I didn't say "don't talk about it"

do a search on my name, you will see I have both a SOH and the ability to debate issues around sex

it's the detail that is bothering me, but I already said that and you have twisted my words so I don't expect you to acknowledge that now

But what level of detail is acceptable?

There's not a set level as far as I'm concerned. People are more than entitled to decide for themselves how much detail they want to go into.

Thanks for preempting me AF. I do apologise if I misread your post

Though it does appear like censorship is being ask for?

Agree with Anyfucker [goes and sits next to her, adjusts twin-set, takes out some knitting]

PS: What's with the passive aggressive post anyway?

I often pleasure dp without wanting anything in return. It is always offered not requested. I enjoy being able to pleasure him.

If however I wasn't in the mood to do that for him I wouldn't and he wouldn't expect it. So no op yanbu.

"it's about male control, depressing"

Sounds like you went through some kind of abuse, I'm sorry to hear what happened to you. But to think it's male control or degrading is ridiculous. Most women on here would disagree with you, it's optional and something they choose to do.

Although, you're entitled to your opinion, it's yours alone.

You think the OP is still here, twelve years on?

How did you even find this thread?!

Purely by accident - think I spend too much time on Mumsnet 😂

Nvm zombie thread.

If you don’t feel in the mood to do something for your partner, don’t! The same applies the other way around. If you want a massage or something and he’s not in the mood, end of conversation.