AIBU to talk about gay people with year 3s?

[opalfruitblast]

We were talking generally today, when I said that there are more males than females in the world. One child then asked who the extra boys would marry if there were not enough girls. Another child said that boys can marry boys, to which one child went 'urgh!', thus another child saying she didn't understand how people can be against men loving men or women loving women.

I said that, in my eyes, love is love, and it doesn't matter if you're a boy or a girl. Bear in mind I have a child in my class with two mums, and one with two dads...

Should I even be discussing homosexuality with 7 and 8 year olds? Personally, I think they should know about the different types of people in the world but I can see how some parents might object.

Trocodile your earlier post was brilliant - I honestly believe that any Christian who thinks homosexuality is wrong doesn't actually understand their own faith ! Doesn't actually get the message that Jesus was trying to bring about love etc... I say this weirdly as an atheist who studied re at school but I find it hard to explain this at times - I may have to quote you as u make more sense than I can !

People use religion as an excuse for nasty behaviour.

my uncle is gay so my kids know what it is. I think you handled a child lead discussion well. I would be happy with this handled this way. (my dc are 9, 7 and 4)

It's absolutely fine. Homophobia needs challenging. In that situation, avoiding answering would have been homophobic, as it would have implied that there was something wrong with being gay.

Of course it is fine, i have a dd in year 4 and would of had no problem with this being discussed last year.

My dd's know that, in their words, some men love men, some men love women, some women love women, some women love men.

And all of the above are fine and normal.

I am not spreading any hatred because I do not hate gay people. Get it? I DO NOT HATE GAY PEOPLE. I disagree over the morality of their sexual behaviour. But most straight people have sinned sexually. I don't "hate" gays any more than people who are non-virgin at marriage and don't feel sorry for their premarital sexual adventures. IE many of the people I know. I don't "hate" gays any more than the cheating men I've come across- in fact probably less as deception is added to the sin with cheating. I don't "hate" gays any more than I "hate" atheists, pagans, Muslims, those who misuse Jesus' name, liars, drunkards, over-eaters (gluttony), non-workers who could get a job but deliberately choose to be idle (sloth), or any other category of people. Understand?
Yep. You just hate anyone who doesn't think your way.

Oh, and if it were my child in year three, I wouldn't have a problem with it.

47 I would really like to know if you pick and choose the parts from the bible you follow. Others have asked you so please answer the question:

Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. DO YOU AGREE?

Exodus 21:7 says you can seel your daughter into slavery. WOULD YOU?

Lev.15: 19-24 states no contact with a menstruating woman or you are unclean. DO YOU AVOID ANY CONTACT WITH WOMEN JUST IN CASE?

Lev. 11:10 States you cannot eat shellfish. DO YOU? (I stick to this one, but then I don't like it - although I do eat prawn cocktail flavour crisps)

Lev. 21:20 states that you may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in your sight. DO YOU HAVE 20:20 VISION?

Lev.19:19 Do not plant your field with two different kinds of seed. Do not wear clothing woven from two different kinds of thread. DO YOU WEAR ANYTHING THAT IS POLYESTER COTTON?

Let's see how much of your "Christian" religion you really follow.

Dawndonna - are you without sin?

Dawndonna's not on 47's side. She's quoting her and then disagreeing.

That's why MN needs a quote button.

Sorry - did not see your last sentence.

I wasn't certain either at first! But it definitely didn't sound like something Dawndonna would say and then I saw the final sentence.

Op I'd have been upset if you'd handled it any other way.
I have an ongoing battle educating my boys when it's common in the playground to call things 'gay' in a derogatory way.

I teach acceptance in my house, I'm not religious at all, but my boys attend a c of e school where the head mistress is gay.

I have an ongoing battle educating my boys when it's common in the playground to call things 'gay' in a derogatory way.

We now have to challenge this as teachers. In my LEA we also have to log homophobic incidents, just as we have to log racist ones.

Depends on how you define sin eniimmead.
I am however without prejudice, well, until it comes to bigots, can't stand the buggers!

Empress
Thank you.

Feenie the word 'gay' seems to have changed to mean something is rubbish. I don't think they mean it to be homophobic even though it is

So, should I mention this to the teachers that it's being used in this context? Whatever I teach my boys at home gets superseded by the playground etiquette of the day

The word "gay " has not changed its meaning. Using it to mean pathetic or rubbish is obviously homophobic and should be challenged as such.

My DD has a badge which reads 'Homophobia is gay'. I like that. A lot.

@ LineRunner.

Lots of nice posters on this thread have said they explained homosexuality to their dc with reference to friends or relatives who are gay. It reminded me of a conversation I had with my SIL many years ago when she was telling me that her 3 small dc were all talking in the back of the car about me and my girlfriend. The eldest one said, "I get it", and the youngest one said, "I get it" (though he lied) and the middle one was getting upset and saying, "I don't get it! Mum, what do they mean?" So my SIL said to me, pretending to be jokey but actually rather aggressively, "Thanks a lot for that, Devora, I had to find a way of explaining what lesbianism is!"

I feel like I've spent a lifetime accommodating others around my sexuality and being a very don't-scare-the-horses type (other than here on MN, where I'm rather more assertive) but part of me just rebelled and said, "You SHOULD be thanking me. This is a conversation every parent should have with their children, and having me around makes it a lot easier".

I'd forgotten about that till just now. It's made me think what a gift it is to have a bit of diversity in our schools, a human face to the 'other' that makes it so much easier for children to understand difference. One of my dd's friends in Y1 has SN and that friendship has brought her so much, as well as making it much easier for me to explain to her about other disabilities and about human diversity generally.

47 should try adopting a bit of this mindset. If my dd ended up with one of her dc in school, she could see it as an opportunity to educate about how to live a Christian life in a secular country: "You know I've always taught you that God means for you to marry someone of the opposite sex and have children with them. Now you've got a classmate with two mums, which shows you that different people often have different ideas about how to live a good life. As you get older you'll come across lots of that, and also lots of people who might get you to change your mind about God. So this is a good opportunity to start practising how to be friends with people who live or think differently from you, without trying to change them or change yourself".

LineRunner, your DD's badge is awesome, I totally want one of those .

47, I don't even know where to start with your posts. You claim not to be a bigot, but you so clearly are. BTW, my parents are Catholics, we were still raised to understand that their gay friends relationships were as real, loving and valid as any straight ones. Oh, and 47, the reason it has taken me so long to respond to your heinous posts is that I was out all day at the Dublin Pride march. Merrily flying the flag and supporting my gay friends .

Oh I challenge it Seeker, I won't tolerate any kind of bigotry in my house. It's a battle though, boys in the playground tease each other and when you're 10 I know that you just want to be the same as everyone else.

I get that, but also want to promote tolerance and acceptance of others who may be different. They both understand at home and agree, school seems a different place though. No matter what you do at home, there's always some kid somewhere who introduces an intolerance.

Just wondering if maybe as parents our views that are not tolerant somehow are more aggressive and taken on board more strongly by our dc than the positive messages we send out?

I am a zero tolerant person in views I thInk are offensive, but they get aired when the subject comes up rather than say 42's opinion that is put forward often?

My family are Catholic too, Shadows. Acceptance of me & my DP took them quite a while.

But because they loved me, they DID it. Even my 90-year-old grandmother, who has a great time discussing theology with DP & credits her with teaching me to bake. They all recognised that my relationship was just as valid as those of my straight siblings & DD (not biologically mine) adores them, just like they do her.

It's very sad that you presumably don't feel you could do that for a child of yours, 47.

conkercon, all your quotes are from the old testament, before Jesus.