AIBU to talk about gay people with year 3s?

[opalfruitblast]

We were talking generally today, when I said that there are more males than females in the world. One child then asked who the extra boys would marry if there were not enough girls. Another child said that boys can marry boys, to which one child went 'urgh!', thus another child saying she didn't understand how people can be against men loving men or women loving women.

I said that, in my eyes, love is love, and it doesn't matter if you're a boy or a girl. Bear in mind I have a child in my class with two mums, and one with two dads...

Should I even be discussing homosexuality with 7 and 8 year olds? Personally, I think they should know about the different types of people in the world but I can see how some parents might object.

TheSpokenNerd I presumed, perhaps wrongly, that opal is a teacher because she said "...I have a child in my class with two mums, and one with two dads..."

Fliss the kids are year three...some are still 7...that's very young. I think at this age it's up to parents to talk about these things tbh. I am very open minded and as there are a number of gay relatives in our family my DC are used to seeing Uncle so and so with his boyfriend etc but not ALL kids are....

Why TheSpokenNerd? Why does homosexuality have to be covered by parents, but it's ok for teachers to cover other things, e.g. religion?

Why is 7 too young Nerd?

As a teacher, you are a public sector working and are meant to be working within the framework of the Equality Act. Haven't you got a school policy and had training on this?

I had to try and explain to DD1 when she was 3 why one of her nursery friends had 2 dads - so YANBU, in my view.

See, my DCs have always been brought up to know gay = normal. That's what I mean by 'positively neutral'.

But the original premise of the OP intrigues me.

7& 8 of course they are well aware of what gay is surely?

I think it's really sad that in 2012, teachers have to worry about whether or not it's OK to have these conversations, and that it's suggested that they check with their HT or HoY

I'm 'suggesting' she check with her superiors rather than Mumsnet considering we don't write her school's policies and whatever we say won't make a difference to what's in them

I'd say the same if she was a street cleaner asking if she should pick up fag ends...

I would far rather my child was told that same sex couples can love each other than that God created the world! Interesting that one is considered OK- and the other isn't.

My boys age 4 and 6 know (but think nothing of it) that some men live men, and some ladies love ladies - only an issue if treated like something terrible.
Yadnbu - I hope other teachers handle such things in the same way you did.

IMO it's fine to say anything about homosexuality that is the equivalent of anything you might say to the same age group about heterosexuality.

So if you talk about Mumies and daddies loving each other it is OK to say the same about Daddy and Daddy. And if you talk about a girl going out with her boyfriend, it is ok to talk about a girl going out with her girlfriend.

How can it be otherwise, and why should that be off limits? Wly in schools (or anywhere else) should gay relationships be spoken of any differently to straight?

Of course YANBU. You weren't talking about sex, you were talking about relationships.

'another child saying she didn't understand how people can be against men loving men or women loving women.'

Out of the mouths of babes!

I feel strongly that a chid cannot be too young to hear that same sex relationships are just as normal as Hetro-sexual and that schools and nurseries should be leading the way. Children pick up negative views on this subject so easily, schools need to combat this.
I realised-to my shame-about a year ago when my 6 yr old DS came home from school telling me about a boy who kept kissing other boys and got laughed at etc that I hadn't done enough and since then I have made an extra effort to talk about it, make sure he is around when I watch eg YouTube interviews with Neil Patrick Harris which show his partner and twins, let him watch some of the scenes in Glee with me, some of the 'it gets better' celebrity videos from The Trevor Project etc. yesterday he announced that he used to think it was bad to be 'schwul'-German for gay, but now he knows that it is really cool and the man who is the voice of Spiderman (NPH) and Mr Spock( Zachary Quinto) and lots of famous people who are cool and that he has told all his friends that!
Figures for gay teenage suicides are horrendous and we all need to do something to combat it.

It should be tedious and boring. Boys and girls and girls and girls and boys and boys sometimes like each other, there might be kissing . Boring, boring, boring. If you ever mention marriage, relationships or anything of that kidney, homo is just as normal and boring as hetro. At least, that is how I have always tried to manage it.

Okay, so children in year 3 are about 7 years old? Old enough to learn about relationships. When I was 6 my parents taught me about gay relationships (they had several gay friends and that was 20 fecking years ago. Not trying to pick at you Nerd, but why should children not be taught about all relationships?

Well it's not that they should not know about gay people Shadows but the sex thing rather annoys me....I feel that it is the parent's job..and that whilst sex education has a place in schools, year three is just too young ....I want my DD to learn about all that through me...where she is comfortable to ask questions. I told her some of it before she had any classes in it...

Sorry, lots of cross-posts, which make it seem like I am getting at you, Nerd, which I am not. Agree completely with trockodile. Can't add much more as useless at typing on phone.

But it's not sex is it, Nerd it's relationships. If the teacher mentions marriage, she can mention that either different or same sex people can marry, surely. She's not going to whip out the lube and poppers.

Nerd did you read a different OP to me? Where did the OP mention sex?!

Of course YANBU, OP - I'd go further and say how can you possibly avoid talking about homosexuality in some way if you have children with gay parents in your class? Surely when you're discussing families you acknowledge that some children have two mums and some have two dads?

My dd is Y1 and feels very aware that she is the only one with two mums. It would mean a huge lot to her if it could be positively affirmed a bit more often.

Nerd, I don't think the OP mentioned sex, did she? She was talking about love and marriage.

thespokennerd we have a similiar situation in our family. DBIL is gay and in relationship. So to my kids who are 5 and 3 this is the norm. They talk about Uncle x and his boyfriend in the sme casual way as they do uncle y and his girlfriend. Sometimes I worry that some parents may get annoyed at my children introducing the concept of a gay relationship to their kids. It hasn't happened yet and they and I continue to speak openly of them and introduce them as who thy are when they are here. So in this situation do you censor how you speak about the relationship in font of other peoples kids? Do you discourage your kids from telling there friends?
I am just interested if you think 7 is too young, do you think families should hide these type of relationships from other peoples kids for fear of offending their parents?

Yep, BlueFergie, every time a parent complaints on these threads about schools away their right to decide for themselves when their children get to hear about homosexuality, I worry that there may be parents in my dd's class who feel much the same. Because there's no way you can stop the kids there talking about how my dd got to have two mums, unless you chucked my dd out of the school.

You really can't protect your dc from learning about the world. Gay people are part of it. And, clearly, I'm not going to teach my children that their family is a dirty little secret just to keep other mothers in their comfort zone.

Devora, I wish there were a 'thumbs up' button.

I don't think I'd have believed either hetero or homo sex at the age of 7. Do that deliberately? Bleugh.

OT, but can I ask - does anyone know if schools do teach anything at all about gay sex? My DD is in yr8, she did the 'sex ed' last year (relationships in citizenship, mechanics in biology) ... but something she said recently implied she had no concept at all of gay sex, even though she knows about loving homosexual couples.