AIBU to talk about gay people with year 3s?

[opalfruitblast]

We were talking generally today, when I said that there are more males than females in the world. One child then asked who the extra boys would marry if there were not enough girls. Another child said that boys can marry boys, to which one child went 'urgh!', thus another child saying she didn't understand how people can be against men loving men or women loving women.

I said that, in my eyes, love is love, and it doesn't matter if you're a boy or a girl. Bear in mind I have a child in my class with two mums, and one with two dads...

Should I even be discussing homosexuality with 7 and 8 year olds? Personally, I think they should know about the different types of people in the world but I can see how some parents might object.

47 what will you do if one of your children is gay?

"I am loving and tolerant" ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!

OP, YANBU.

47etc I rather hope you are merely deranged but suspect you are quite sane, just completely and dangerously wrong.

47 using soft words and phrases like "i disagree with the morality of their choices" is still bigotry. You still condemn a certain group of people as sinners purely on the grounds that they do not love someone of the opposite sex!
I practically grew up in the Church of England and the attitude of people like you is part of the reason I left. The sheer hatred directed towards others which was hidden under a sheen of pity and self righteousness was sickening. In fact some of the most unchristian people I know go to church every week and are heavily involved in church life. Thankfully I do know some wonderfully accepting Christians -one of them is a vicar- who are not like this.
Sorry for the hijack OP.

47 - as a dear friend put it - being gay is not something that you would logically choose - you are or you aren't. FWIW our lovely (retired) Anglican minister who I asked to come back and do my DD's christening and couldn't give two hoots about the religious 'pedigree' of my godparents. However she did agree very strongly that the best godparents were those who were able to support a child without being judgemental.

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" - is the reason I keep my mouth shut, and try not to judge others!

OP - I think what you said was lovely and age appropriate - I would ahve no problem with you saying that to me DD (Year 1).

can't type - have not problem with you saying that to my DD (Year 1).

still can't type - no problem!

Please don't comment on my appalling typing!

just moral disapproval is worse that fear and hatred. At least the latter is usually fuelled by ignorance and emotion. You're calculating in your bigotry and nastiness. You don't have HIGHER moral standards, you have far LOWER, because the ultimate in morality is that we are all EQUAL. Your Jesus character was at pains to point that out.
Shame on you for ignoring the real teaching of your own icons.

opalfruitblast, what you said to those children sounds lovely. You managed to nip any potential homophobia in the bud before it became an issue. I don't think there is such a thing as homophobic year 3 child. However seven and eight year old children sometimes repeat (with no understanding) things that they have heard at home.

47 I think that some christians get their knickers far to much in a twist about sexuality. (Ie pre martial sex, homosexuality etc.) If you look at your bible

Matthew 22:36-40
www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+22%3A36-40&version=NIV

36 ?Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law??

37 Jesus replied: ??Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.?[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ?Love your neighbor as yourself.?[b] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.?

In the past pre martial sex caused terrible problems as there was no contraception and no support for single mothers. It is not loving to have sex if you aren't prepared to financially support any potential babies. Nowadays we have contraception so babies are less of an issue. It is still disgraceful not to support children financially. (In my opinon)

Adultury is still a sin as much as ever. You just have to look at the relationships board to see the pain it causes.

I don't see how a monogous homosexual relationship goes against what Jesus said in Matthew 22:36-40.

Incidently I think the OP teaching follows Matthew 22:36-40 even if she doesn't know it.

Thankfully not all Christians are as bigoted, my mother is a Church of Scotland minister and does actually preach love and tolerance for all, including gay

people.

Not that long ago she wouldn't have been allowed to have become a minister, thankfully things have moved on.

And this is why I hate organised religion. It's constantly used to twist a hateful, dangerous argument around to desperately try and fit in with it despite the argument being against the very spirit of the religion concerned. Bonkers.

OP - I don't know what else you could have done really, sounds like you played it perfectly. I'd be delighted if you'd been my DS's teacher when he was in Y3.

Year 3?

At age 3 my dd wanted to move to Holland when she grew up so that she could marry a girl. I am very much in favour of telling the truth to children.

It really is a shame that you have to worry about this. There was a law in Scotland which banned the promotion of homosexual lifestyle (or something like that) in school but it was repealed some time ago.

p.twimg.com/AstEjKGCMAAvkv9.jpg

"as a dear friend put it - being gay is not something that you would logically choose - you are or you aren't"

That is the problem with the OP 'randomly' starting this conversation, because when the boy made his statement (men can marry men), the OP would have had to lead the discussionon that it isn't a choice.

Then the problem arises if the schools policy is not known. If children are to be given any information on sexuality, it should be accurate.

This should be something that you have discussed with your head, to fend off bullying (should it happen) given that you have two same sex couples as parents.

It shouldn't be decided afterwards.

I have helped a school to have strategies in place for different families (in foster care, same sex foster carers etc), so that if it happens there is a plan to revert to straight away.

Opal - sounds like you handled the situation perfectly.

Birds the OP didn't randomly decide to start the conversation, it led on from a completely unrelated remark about social geography and was instigated by a pupil. Also she didn't have to lead the discussion that it isn't a choice?!

Presumably if they kids had taken it further to that level then advice could have been sought.

YANBU
DS is 4 and understands that Uncle X lives with Uncle Y, and Auntie A is Auntie B's girlfriend.
I think they should be taught this from the word go, then maybe they'd be less intolerance all round.

47 I worked in a summer camp where we had a group of 9 year old girls, one of whom had 2 mums. Another girl bullied this girl every day because of this, trying to turn the rest of the group against her and telling her it was wrong thanks to having parents like you who had taught her this. She refused to listen to any member of staff who tried to explain why she was upsetting this girl so much, because her parents had told her homosexuality was wrong and that was what she believed. Her parents weren't on site, and probably would never have thought their speech would translate into their daughter bullying another child for the entire summer.

Do you realise how damaging it can be when you tell your children things like this? At best, your kids will grow up, realise other people have more tolerant attitudes and reject your opinions. At worst, they could seriously hurt someone else because of it. If you are telling your children homosexual behaviour is wrong, you cannot seriously think you are being tolerant. As lots of other people have pointed out, the most important commandment is loving others. Let God decide who the 'sinners' are. That's not your job.

47 - Would Jesus tell people he didn't agree with to "fuck off"?

It's hard to believe you are as committed to Christian principles as you make out.

RT- hear, hear! I am a committed christian (NOT CofW / CofW) and I would ahve been very annoyed at a response that didn;t normalise homesexuality- when we go away our gar friend comes with us and stays with us, the boys (age 12, 11, 8 and 4) annknow that he is living with another man.

Some of those kids in the class may well be gay, they need to hear homophobia challnged now.

YANBU

Perfectly reasonable thing to say.

Maybe teens have to come out to someone else other than their parents if their parents are homophobic. It's difficult as it is but worrying that your parents will hate you makes it a million times harder, have some compassion!
It's funny how you think your in the minority. Mn has a lot of open minded ppl on it but in rl a LOT of people are also very bigoted. That us why gay people are still abused and beaten up, feel they can't come out and are ashamed of themselves. The law even backs it up! Gay people still cannot marry. So you are actually like a lot of people, but you are all still wrong.