AIBU to talk about gay people with year 3s?

[opalfruitblast]

We were talking generally today, when I said that there are more males than females in the world. One child then asked who the extra boys would marry if there were not enough girls. Another child said that boys can marry boys, to which one child went 'urgh!', thus another child saying she didn't understand how people can be against men loving men or women loving women.

I said that, in my eyes, love is love, and it doesn't matter if you're a boy or a girl. Bear in mind I have a child in my class with two mums, and one with two dads...

Should I even be discussing homosexuality with 7 and 8 year olds? Personally, I think they should know about the different types of people in the world but I can see how some parents might object.

47 I really don't understand how you can think your views are not homophobic. First line of the Wikipedia definition: 'Homophobia is a range of negative attitudes and feelings toward homosexuality or people who are identified or perceived as being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT).' You have a negative attitude towards homosexuality. So how are your views not homophobic?

sorry to not comment on OP (btw - you handled it great)
but this is only second thread i have read and feeling really peeved of
47 - seriously in 2012?

It makes me so fucking sad to my core that this is even an issue. That people like 47 can think such stupid, backwards things.

If my best friend was to fall in love right now, she would not be able to her. There are people out there who think that she is wrong, dirty and misusing her body. It's just so sad, and infuriating and makes me utterly furious.

Love is love. Sex is sex. If you're not having the sex, or you're not the ones in love, then it's none of your damn business.*

I really hope that I can instil in my DS, from an early age, the knowledge that people are who they are, and we're all different. He's free to be who he wants to be, love who he wants to love, and his sexuality (whatever it may be) is not something he should be scared of talking about or expressing.

• with the whole 'consenting adults' preface. I'd go as far as consenting teens to.

OP- I think you handled it perfectley and I think that it is good that it came up in conversation rather than a 'now boys and girls....' speech

Unfortunatley some children aren't brought up in homes where sexuality is openly discussed so as a teacher, you may be the first person to discuss it with them and for some you may be the first adult that speaks about how a particular child is feeling but does not yet recognise in themselves as it is a forbidden subject.
Well done!

Funny how 47's god made so many gay people, and made so many people who are sickened by these so called "christian attitudes".
Thats some piss poor designing right there if you've got so few people in the group that think themselves the righteous chosen few. How did he manage to get it all so wrong, one wonders?

As a parent I'd be quite happy with what you said. Its just part of life. We have a few gay friends and DD is quite aware that men can love men , women can love women and lead a perfectly content and happy life

None of the several primaries in my area teach pro-gay material, I have checked

All of the primaries will be pro respectful loving relationships, regardless of gender.

Every LA is trying to recruit more same sex couples in fostering and adoption, this is LA policy, every statutory provider will be postive about same sex couples.

Presumably teachers follow the equality act because it is part of their contract to do so. They want to avoid losing their jobs, not being sent to prison. The fact that it isn't a criminal offence not to implement various elements of it is irrelevant.

dd said at 3yo "men and ladies get married to each other!" or something similar, and I replied "mostly, but sometimes men love men and women love women and they can marry too" TBH it's only recently I realised a civil partnership wasn't a marriage, but it's not something that bothers me and my uncle is gay with a lovely partner so I felt it was wrong not to correct her.

I wouldn't necessarily want a teacher to bring this up but if a child in a class says something nasty/incorrect about homosexuality I would want my child to be taught respect for others etc.

I think as a teacher, the kids sometimes direct things in a way you hadn't planned for but you do your best and if a parent complains, you can stand by what you've said.

But then dd1 is now 4 and knows mummy has periods and babies are produced when a mummy and daddy have a special kind of cuddle and if she asked I would tell her the truth (in what I feel is an age appropriate way). I'm fairly keen on giving knowledge on these things but only if dd brings it up and asks.

That's a good point penisvanlesbian, God has really fucked up big time, hasn't he?

Thunderbirdago what exactly is your problem? I will post what I please thank you.

I'm a Christian (pretty bad one as I pick the bits I feel are relevant today. If you take the bible literally women wouldn't speak - haha, I'm the boss of this house) but annoyed by people like 47 who give Christians a bad name.

I'm curious what dd's new school does in this situation as it's a church school.... will have to check.

Yup. For an omnipresent, omnipotent, all controlling being, isn't it odd that the vast majority of the world seems to be outside this so-called plan?

God invented pi.

linerunner

OP - I think you did the right thing - my DS age 6 asked me if men can marry men and If a lady can marry a lady. I simply answered "yes dear". He said "oh ok ,whats for lunch?"

47 -So you would say God only recognises one mum or one dad, the person whose tummy you came out of or whose seed you came from.

Who would you say that to exactly? Me? ( an adoptive mother ) My DH? ( an adoptive father)my DS and DD? ( adopted children) or perhaps my Father in Law ? ( a C of E Vicar who absolutely recognises me as the mother of his adopted grandchildren)

Your views are disgusting and insulting 47.

Blimey I'm shocked.

I've taught my dc (y3 and y2)from day one that men can love/marry/have children with other men,women can marry women or men and women marry etc,etc as errrr that is it.

I'm really shocked anybody would question this or make it into an issue tbf.It's not up for discussion,it's a fact, no parent would have the right to question any teacher discussing it.

We lived next door to 2 gay men and children at our school have gay parents sooooo not exactly sure why one would make everyday life into an issue tbh. Surely as a society we've moved on.

I am Gay Spartacus.

Trixymalixy Thunderbirdsarego's remark has been deleted. I think we can guess exactly what her problem is, btw.

i think the op handled the situation well and would be perfectly happy for that discussion to have taken place with any of my children, but then like vailum said i think they have never not known about gay/lesbian relationships, partly as we have friends at various toddler groups who are in same sex relationships, they know that some of their friends have two mummies who love each other like their mum and dad do. they have never batted an eyelid at it.

i do wonder what 47 would actually ahve said had she been the teacher in this instance and i wonder what kind of bigotry her poor children are growing up believing to be normal :( bit like the child that told my ds2 that his parents would go to hell as we arent married! ds2 was hugely upset by this at the time, we explained that some people have very strong religious beliefs but that does NOT make them right.

i somehow suspect if there is a god he/she/it will be far more understanding towards gays and others supposed 'sinners' than they will be towards 47 who simply chooses to be bigoted and judgemental and no you dont have higher morals than us, my moral values include treating people as equals and respecting them, 'treat others as you would like to be treated yourself' i dont think you can claim to do that 47

Yes, the "Christians" on this thread aren't exactly covering themselves in glory are they?!?!?

My dd has been told by a child that her parents should be married too.

I told her to say that her mummy and daddy have been happily unmarried an awful lot longer(22 years) than the vast maj of parents at her church school.She now likes to correct that playground song which goes "1st comes marriage....."

ah but rockpool you do know that some posters think its wrong and if you had the misfortune to visit them you and your dp wouldnt be allowed to share a bedroom! of course if you were 16yrs old and had got married at gretna green then you could share a bedroom! oh the logic of that!!

yes 15yrs here, 5 kids a mortgage, wills, life insurance and all that shit, but hey we arent married so shoot me now!

Totally bizarre.

I'm actively discouraging all of my 3 from marrying(soooo going to burn in hell).