Spooky, I started an almost identical thread on another forum yesterday!
Mine are: people who call where I live a town. It's a village. It has no mainstream shops save a Co-op. It has a junior school but no senior school. It has (pretty big clue, this one...) a village green. Yet still some colleagues refer to it as a town.
People who drive at 30 along the 60 stretch of road on my commute home. It is not a twisty narrow country road. It has white lines, shallow curves, two proper carriageways and everything. It also has a 60 mile per hour speed limit. Wake up and smell the national speed limit sign, morons.
People who adjust my office chair. It's set to my height, my lumbar support, my comfort. You've sat in it for five minutes while I'm away from my desk and think you can mess about with it to suit you, so I have to spend ages getting the settings just right again? Fuck off to the far side of fuck off.
Grown men who use the word 'bopping' for dancing. Just...don't.
The fact that since the local garage had a refurbishment and fitted a new price board, I can no longer see the price without going out of my way (used to be able to check it out on my way to work - price board is now hidden behind a road sign).
My DSD being seemingly unable to grasp the connection between her [erroneous] insistence she is a 34" inside leg (she's 5'4") and the bottoms of every single pair of trousers she possesses being frayed/ripped/dirty because they are too. Fucking. Long.
People who get irrationally het up at other people's FB status updates. Facebook is optional. You can control who you're friends with or whose updates you see. Stop fucking whinging about it as if someone is holding a gun to your head to log on to it.
And breeeeeeathe...