trivial things that fuck me right off

[NationalAccidentHelpline]

AIBU?

1. People who write 'mmmn' instead of mmm (too onomatopoeic)
2. People who write yeay or yey instead of yay (fucked up)
3. People who say they baked 'flapjack', not flapjacks (twee fuckwits)
4. Nom nom nom (stab stab stab)
5. Anyone who says 'make love' with a straight face (gag reflex-tickling)
6. Meegraine instead of My-graine (frankly you deserve one if you can't say it properly, sorry if you're a mIgraine sufferer and I've just really offended you, I know it's a serious condition etc etc and I wouldn't wish it on anyone who could say it properly )

That is all

1. And people who say the above ^ (you're not Miranda Fucking Priestley, but I know this has been discussed already so I won't go on about it)

PIN number does my head in. As does secatery. I was a bloody secretary for years. I know how to pronounce it!

People who walk too slow in front of me in shops or if I cant pass them on the pavrment. I want to punch them behind the knees.

People who leave their trolley blocking an aisle.

Bloke on moto gp who says yeah-er for year.

Oh all of my DH's family say 'roof' instead of ceiling. Now my DC do the same.

Checkout staff at Sainsburies who ask "How many of your own bags have you used?" I have used one of my own, that huge one that is sitting in the trolley.

However I would have had to use at least 5 of your thin free ones. So how many "points" will you give me?

Films with Tom Cruise in

People in supermarkets. All of them. Just fuck off and let me shop on peace.

People that take an age to decide anything. Make a fucking decision.

How are you supposed to say haitch?

People who slurp really loudly even though what they are eating/drinking isn't hot anymore.

People who read a nee text message when you're mid-conversation like it will expire in 10 seconds. My sister does this to everyone, so rude. I've given up talking to her.

new*

Twitter

...and fucking #hashtags

Adding to he hatred of 'Tescos' and 'Asdas':

People who call John Lewis 'Lewises'.

People that say 'ickle'.

People that wear jeans with a denim jacket. At the same time. Why?!

People who say 'init'. Yes, it is, isn't it?

People who chew with their mouths open, or talk while eating.

And people who use hashtags on Facebook. Stop it.

Yes to the "sekketry" thing. And also people who say "pacific" instead of "specific".

The fact the delete/backspace button on this fecking iPhone is right next to the 'l' and 'm' keys so every time I type a word containing either of those letters I just end up deleting the previous one(s).

Oh oh oh, another one. People who don't take their trolleys back to the trolley park in the carpark, and instead leave them scattered around the carpark, so I get to dodge them.

Thick people

like my mil and her son

I dont mean those who have no qualifications or lack life experience, im no great shakes myself, I mean those who are stupid and ignorant. Those who have little nous and think they are right

Oh no that can't be right about H. I say it right.

people who leave the butter/marg out of the fridge
people who get all tight over a split tab at a restaurant.

people ( I mean DH) leaving plates etc on top of dishwasher. Put them in for fucks sake.

The fact that the i and o are too close on my phones keyboard. I have to re type everything so I dont sound like the policeman from 'ello 'ello.

People who say ATM Machine. The M in ATM stands for Machine.

In Starbucks drive through the menu board is right by the microphone thingy where they take your order, so they ask you what you want before you've had the chance to look at it.

Another one: people who have no hobbies or interests (my MIL is one). I don't get it.

People adding .com to EVERYTHING

"so tired.com today"...