trivial things that fuck me right off

[NationalAccidentHelpline]

AIBU?

1. People who write 'mmmn' instead of mmm (too onomatopoeic)
2. People who write yeay or yey instead of yay (fucked up)
3. People who say they baked 'flapjack', not flapjacks (twee fuckwits)
4. Nom nom nom (stab stab stab)
5. Anyone who says 'make love' with a straight face (gag reflex-tickling)
6. Meegraine instead of My-graine (frankly you deserve one if you can't say it properly, sorry if you're a mIgraine sufferer and I've just really offended you, I know it's a serious condition etc etc and I wouldn't wish it on anyone who could say it properly )

That is all

1. And people who say the above ^ (you're not Miranda Fucking Priestley, but I know this has been discussed already so I won't go on about it)

End of.

Slept with. (If they were sleeping, what's the fucking problem?!)

Should of, would of, could of.

Stabby. (Fucking 'stabby'? WTAF?!)

Anyone who wears their jeans hanging off their arses. I DO NO WANT TO SEE YOUR ARSE CRACK. I really, really don't.

Haitch

People who call their DS "My Likkle Man"

People who say "smuggary" not "smuggery"

ONLY JOKING

Dora The Explorer.

Why is she so relentlessly upbeat?

Diego.

Why do SO MANY animals keep getting stuck on ledges/mudslides/prickly thorns/gooey geysers/waterfalls?

People who call babies and toddlers "sexy", that is so far wrong I don't know where to begin.

And 'patent', 'blatant'. Both adjectives indicate 'open' but 'blatant' carries the connotation of 'bad', 'malicious', 'deliberate'. Think I should get on to 'Pedants' thread'!

'People who call their DS "My Likkle Man"'

Bllleeeeeaaaaauuuuggghhhh, that's so so true.

Turns my stomach. :)

Loving the expression, "Nothing boils my piss more than...."

People who buy clothes with the pleats stiched up and don't undo them before wearing. It makes the clothes hang all wrong and looks stupid. I am tempted to carry nail scissors on the tube so I can snip snip SNIP them free.

People who misuse "myself" and "yourself". They are usually trying to sell me something and this is enough for him/her to lose the sale.

People in my way. Anywhere. Which in London is everywhere. Just BUGGER OFF.

Seconding the "less/fewer" and "lose/loose" confusion hate.

In fact grammar and spelling pedantry is a sub-section on its own. People who write "discrete" when they mean "discreet" is another bugbear.

Thinking I've spotted a parking space then realising there is a motorbike/tiny low-slung sports car already parked.

Losing my temper with an animate object and invariably coming off worse, usually ending up with a bruise or cut.

Throwing something in the waste bin and watching it bounce off the rim and land just out of easy reach so I have to contort myself to pick it up again.

Waiting behind someone at a petrol pump who, after paying and returning to their car, proceeds to put their seatbelt on, reset their trip meter, put various items in the glovebox, check their phone, cook a three-course meal...JUST FUCKING MOVE!!!

And "babba" for "baby". Bleurgh.

Inanimate object, obviously.

I'll shut up now.

'another think coming' really?

People with absolutely NO spatial awareness .... There's someone right behind you, you idiot ! And you might have all day to dawdle about taking up the entire pavement/aisle/ way into the ticket barrier at the train station but I'm VERY busy and important.com

And .com hate hate hate

Oooh

And doing fingers in the air for inverted commas ..... WHY???

What's next? Poking the air for full stops? Jeeez

Where's the wine ......

"Gotten". I hate it so much. It fell out of English usage years ago. Why resurrect it? Do you think its "down with the cool kids" to pretend to be slightly American or something?

"I seen you". No, you didn't. You might have seen me, although I rather hope not.

Stupid abbreviations, such as "addy" instead of address, "tomor" instead of tomorrow, etc..

And may I also add, people who write without using basic puncutation, such as full stops, where its needed.

"People with absolutely NO spatial awareness"

I don't think that's what you mean. You mean people who don't give a fuck.

Anyone who says "myself" or "yourself" when they mean me or I or you.
Anyone who says "whilst" in any context at all.
Anyone who says "clem-ay-tis". It's clem tis.
Anyone who says "scone" to rhyme with "cone" or "bone".

And now I find that you can't cut and paste the schwa symbol into MN. Grrrr.

I've been reading a lot of food blogs/meal plans.
It's not 'veggies' ', it's plain old 'veg'. You don't say 'fruities'.
In my head the word veggies conjures up images of annoying mummies making hummous for pfbs. Veg denotes sustinance and Sunday dinner, real food.

"cheer up luv, it might never happen"

Lol at punctuation "where its needed" (sic)

People in the supermarket queue who get right up next to you before you've paid. Are you fucking paying for my shopping? No? Then FUCK OFF back a bit and stop crowding me.

Misplaced apostrophes. I expect it at a market, I'm prepared. Legging's. But the other day, I saw a poster in an estate agent's window for insurance that said...'You can relax now you know your covered'. WTAF?

I post it every time a pedants thread comes up...

Here here
ie in agreement

Technically, that's not a misplaced apostrophe, is it? It's a lack of one.

Late people. There is just no need, if I can be on time, then so can you, you impolite, entitled fuckmonkey.

You know, I have serious PMT. I could be here all night.