Women who pack suitcases for men.

[AnnaMosity]

I hear of this relatively often.
JUST DON'T DO IT.

pandawatch "Surrendered woman" (or wife?) was a book a few years back by a woman who had been a complete control freak and treated her husband like a small child, who got unhappy with her life and went to completely the opposite extreme instead, being utterly "little woman-ish" and treating him like her king. She seemed to prefer that, and wrote to rave about her new life. (I didn't read it, only reviews of it, so apologies if I'm being unfair...)

there was a surrendered wife on wife swap years ago I made me shudder a bit it was strange to watch her fawning all over him

Oh - blimey! If I were her husband that would have completely freaked me out!

Rollsmops lmao!!! Booking doctors appointments is not an issue as due to work schedules the reception is closed when DH'S lunch break is happening and as he is not blessed with the world's best memory if I know when it is I can remind him gently so it's not missed. The same reason applies to card buying, food shopping, dry cleaning etc etc. I have a better memory and am more organised so it's my area of responsibility. DH is considerably stronger and less of a wuss than me so getting rid of big spiders and lifting furniture is what he specialises in. I'm not a downtrodden housewife at all, just a control freak - if I do it it is definitely done and to my satisfaction! Would like to know why the OP has such an issue with teamwork in a marriage??

He obviously enjoyed it so did she each to their own and all that but it did creep me out slightly,

DH definitely gets all the scary (i.e. spider removing)/gross jobs in the house and I unashamedly play the "I'm a lay-dee!" card for that

Only read first page - I pack for me and the kids. Dh packs for him and the techy gadgets normally - if manic before we go away he'll leave his stuff out and I'll chuck it in the case - hardly taxing though. I encourage the kids to pack their own books/toys in their little day cases.

Women are brain washed by society that appearance is so important.
Men aren't.

Except for running shoes and surviving on Dartmoor clothes and other totally practical occasions, I don't think DH has worried about clothes in the whole 48 years he's been on this planet.

His mum bought him stuff, I buy him stuff, occasionally the DDs take an arm each and make him try things on! We drag him to the shoe shop in the sales.

Otherwise, I throw clothes at him, he puts them on. Sometimes he'll say smart or scruffy or shorts please depending on his plans, but that's about it.

He just doesn't care, his clothes are just tools for a job.

Strangely he is perfectly happy to go shopping with me and the DDs for things for us and offer perfectly sensible advice.

He can also work the washer and irons better than I do, although neither of us bother often.

This is like the little quizzes my friends and I used to make for eachother when we were bored at school.

Q1. Do you pack your DH's suitcases?
a. Yes, all the time.
b. Only when we're travelling together.
c. He packs mine.
d. We pack our own.

Q2. Do you buy the cards and presents for your DH?s side of the family?
a. Yes, present-buying is my forte.
b. Sometimes when it?s the day before and he still hasn?t done it.
c. No, he buys all the presents.
d. No, we sort out our own families.

Q3. Do you do the majority of the housework?
a. Yes, and the childcare and run my own business.
b. We?re supposed to split the jobs evenly but DH often forgets so I do it.
c. I?m a total slattern so DH does most of it.
d. We split it 50/50.

Q4. Who controls the finances?
a. My salary gets paid into DH?s account and he gives me pin money.
b. I pay the bills but DH makes most of the spending decisions.
c. DH?s salary gets paid into my account and I give him pin money.
d. We have a joint account and split things evenly.

Now total up your score.
Mostly A?s: You are downtrodden and you know it. Leave the?!
Mostly B?s: You are downtrodden but you just haven?t realised. Consider marriage counselling.
Mostly C?s: Way to go girl! You are the feminist queen!
Mostly D?s: Aww, you and your DH are so cute. Together 4eva.

I don't understand women who do this either. I would pack his bag if he went into hospital in an emergency and I think that's about it.

He irons his own shirts too

I got 2As and 2Ds! I'm so confused!

i have one a, one b and 2 d's!

I got 2 A's, a C and a D :o

I got all d's

All ds.

Don't you just love these people who start a thread by throwing in a crazy comment then run away and watch people squabble

I got 2 As a b and a D

LOVE it AKMD!

I think i should just pack my own bags and leave now with my score

Does it really matter who does what, as long as it all gets done, and everyone does their fair share of the work?

Gah, two b's and 2 d's. How am I supposed to work out the state of my relationship from that? AKMD, perhaps you'd consider apportioning values to each score, so it could be 1-10, 11-20, instead .

Oh my.

I never thought it strange that I pack husband's case. If I'm packing, why should I not pack his stuff too? We always have stuff for each of us in both cases in case one goes missing. All my friends here leave husbands to pack their own cases, then get stressed when its 30 mins to the taxi pick-up and respective husband still has a grand total of his fags and lighter as his luggage for the week.

Now, as for AKMD's quiz...

Q1: A
Q2: B
Q3: Secret option E: we have a cleaner 8 hours per week cos we're both to lazy and slatternly to be arsed doing it ourselves
Q4: I control it because I'm a control freak Each get paid into our own accounts (local law here, on separate visas so must be paid into an account in our name as main account holder). Rent cheques go out of mine cos he doesn't have a cheque book. I pay utility bills and and for all food shopping. He buys me shoes and handbags His account is actually for our savings and we try to live on my salary for all costs, plus my savings account which is to fund my plan for world domination Christmas and Birthday presents and maybe a holiday if we ever get leave.

AKMD you do realise what a can of worms you've just opened up don't you?

Love the quiz.

I pack dh's bag/ our bag if we are going away. It annoys me too much how he just chucks things into the bag. However, he gets all the stuff he wants to take and puts it on the bed for me. A couple of times I have had to remind him that he may require some pants on holiday, or that he doesn't need 10 T-shirts for a week away.

Is that a fair compromise, OP?