or doomed to fatness forever?

[Silbury]

I am fat. I have been for years. I rarely eat crisps or chocolate. I have a takeaway about twice a year. I have wine 3 times a week.
My work hours are crap so i go for hours not eating, then get starving. Work is constantly on the move and not sitting at a desk.

I am still fat.

I go to the gym 2-3 times a week and do a 2 hour dance class once a week.

I am still fat.

The last 3 weeks theres been a bootcamp at the gym do i have been 5 times a week.

I am still fat.

More than that. I am actually a kilo heavier than i was last week.

AIBU to be unutterably pissed off. And fat.

I sympathise. I really wonder how much genetic inheritance plays in weight gain/loss and body shape...based on my casual observations it really seems to be a huge factor, but maybe in fact its more due to conditioned attitudes that are passed down and then imprinted early on on the metabolism...I don't know.

Anyway, I'm rubbish at visualising height/weight, so I put your measurements into mybodygallery.com to get an idea of what you might look like. Based on your comments I had imagined really huge, and the results the website gave me were nothing like my expectations! OK you're overweight, but can I just say that I am SURE that people wouldn't even blink an eye if you walked past in a swimsuit. I know I wouldn't.

Personally, I think that you shouldn't necessarily try to cut out all the foods that you love and that give you pleasure in life. I think you need to find a happy medium where you can enjoy a little of what you fancy, but just not as much as you're doing at the moment. I have a colleague who struggled with weight-loss for decades, who for the past couple of years has been on a super-healthy diet during the week (she is healthy but REALLY strict and has to use amazing willpower), then at the weekend she lets herself eat a lot more indulgently. She says this method is the best thing she has ever done, and because she is a food-lover and enjoys fine dining and the like, it's the only long-term "diet" she can see herself doing. Imagining a whole future stretched out of her where she had to constantly deny herself the foods she loved was just too demotivating. I'm in no way a nutritionist so I don't know if this is medically advisable, but it seems like a good way to approach things to me.

Thanks Seventh. I'm hopefully a way off menopause yet (34). Am guessing the way to reset it is to eat properly? (ie enough, and healthily).

Silbury I'd image rice or soya milk would be even better for you than regular milk in a protein shake.

It sounds like your body is in starvation mode because of the not eating breakfast and eating erratically. I used to be of the frame of mind that I needed a canteen sandwich at lunch time too, but for economy rather than diet reasons I have been making myself a salad for lunch for the last few months ( those chinese takeaway plastic cartons are just the right size for it ) and am feeling loads better for it. I put in loads of salady things, some protein, pumpkin seeds and a bit of olive oil on top. I bring in cherry tomatoes to snack on. I haven't lost a pound in weight, although lots of cash saved but I do feel a bit better for it and it only takes me minutes to do.

I think Paul McKenna is worth a punt as well if only because normal diets are so exhausting to try to buy all the right stuff and count your points etc etc, who could be bothered, plus its more about getting your eating right forever than down to a set weight if you see what I mean.

Regarding exercise, depends on what classes you go to. I went to zumba and whilst I enjoyed it I certainly would not view it as a time efficient way to get my exercise in. Can you increase your walking, or get a bicycle and cycle to work - friend of mine has lost about half a stone since she started cycling into work and she wasn't that big to begin with?

Good luck it's rubbish not being able to lose weight when you want to.

Riverboat's friend - I think that system can work very well, especially for foodies. Eating very healthily (and sometimes sparingly) much of the time, and then enjoying other foods occasionally or at weekends.

This to me is a most natural way of eating also. I don't agree with the "must have breakfast" mantra. Its just another rule created by the diet industry with no research basis at all. Most days I do not eat breakfast, but sometimes I do - only if I'm hungry!!

As I am middle-aged and sedentary (health issues: can't exercise), I tend to stick to this, often having only one meal a day and a couple of healthy snacks. This also gives the body's digestive system a chance to rest and recuperate.

If you look at most slim people, they eat sparingly most of the time and then just relax and enjoy their food at special events/social ones.

Forcing yourself to eat 3 meals a day plus treats is just a recipe for being overweight and food-obsessed, especially if you are middle-aged. Its unnecessary unless you are (a) young and growing or (b) very, very active.

Silbury - you are not doomed to fatness forever!

Come and join my low carb Bootcamp

It's really, really easy way to get into low carbing. There are 10 rules, and a list of allowed veg. I've been low carbing (on and off) for almost 10 years now, so I have a lot of experience of how it works, what it feels like to be trying to do it, and I've done a lot of reading about it. I have used all of that to distill the principles into the 10 rules, to make it as easy as possible for other people to low carb - especially those who have never done it before.

There is no weighing or counting of anything. And you don't have to do any exercise if you don't want to!

I've been back 'on the wagon' since February and have dropped a stone and a half - I still drink alcohol at the weekends, and have been out for dinner at least once a week, sometimes twice a week, and had trips to Rome and Athens in that time.

You will enjoy eating and will enjoy lovely, satisfying food. You won't have to endure the agony of low fat anything - reading about what people are forcing themselves to eat on this thread is awful. No polystyrene rice cakes, no having to scrape the butter as thinly as possible on fluffy, tasteless bread. Just natural, fresh, unprocessed and tasty food. Including butter!

Come and have a read of the thread - or any of the other Bootcamp threads. We can help you and answer any of your questions or concerns.

Oh, and I am 52, nearly 53, and menopausal, so no reason why that should impede weight loss either.

OP I have an copy of Paul mckennas book and cd here I will happily post you if you pm me your address (declittering)