or doomed to fatness forever?

[Silbury]

I am fat. I have been for years. I rarely eat crisps or chocolate. I have a takeaway about twice a year. I have wine 3 times a week.
My work hours are crap so i go for hours not eating, then get starving. Work is constantly on the move and not sitting at a desk.

I am still fat.

I go to the gym 2-3 times a week and do a 2 hour dance class once a week.

I am still fat.

The last 3 weeks theres been a bootcamp at the gym do i have been 5 times a week.

I am still fat.

More than that. I am actually a kilo heavier than i was last week.

AIBU to be unutterably pissed off. And fat.

I noticed earlier in the thread that you said you wouldn't wear a swimming costume. Please rethink this . Regular swimming has been a major factor in my weightloss. I was size 18-20 when I started - no one stared or laughed at me. I regularly see very big people in the pool -good for them!

I know what you mean re obsessing. I have lost 3 stone twice before but would do stupid things like save my calories to eat a bit of chocolate rather than two apples. Or would eat if not hungry because I couldn't bear not to use up my daily calorie or points allowance. It was very disordered.

This last year has been different. Part if that has been that I need much more fibre in my diet than I used to so can't "cheat" because I get constipation, piles etc - sorry for tmi. The other part is I was just sick of being obsessive and letting it rule my life. I still have the odd binge when stressed but eat well 90 per cent if the time because I am a stubborn cow and won't let it defeat me!

I also think logging all your food, just to see, would be helpful and is something to show your doctor. You deserve to feel well and healthy xx

Just wanted to agree with Golden's last sentence. You really do deserve this.

I dont get all the stop eating carbs comments, carbs give you energy i wouldnt function without my carbs and eat pasta 5-6 nights out of 7. Ive just hit my pre pregnancy weight after 8 months without much effort from 11s 7 to 9s 3, little more still to lose. If i eat rubbish or dont move much my weight fires up rapidly so my average day eating is 2 weetabix with semi skimmed, a cereal bar, ham/cheese sandwich with grapes and squash, pasta in a tomato sauce for dinner or homemade curry, sweetsour etc, choc mousse for pudding occasionally i will have a biscuit in the day too and average 2-3 coffees a day with 1 sugar, i do a work out dvd 2-3 times per week and that keeps me in check. I have ranged everywhere from a size 16 to a size 8 over the years im currently a 12 aiming for 10 but wont give up my carbs for no-one!

Fashionfailiure, yeah you can get thin but eating huge amounts of carbs and sugar is very bad for your body. It's what causes diabetes, high blood pressure etc. it's more important to be healthy than just thin imo.

I dont think i eat huge amounts of sugar tbh a choc mousse at night stops the tendancy to binge for me and ive went down from 3 to 1 sugars in coffee over the years, others may be able to use sweetner in drinks but i react to them terribly so small sacrafice there, i was led to believe that carbs should make up a third of your food so as long as you eat plenty fruit and veg too i always add veg to sauces etc then its pretty balanced. Im never going to be the worlds healthiest eater but i dont think its terrible either and keeps weight down

I have been overweight for as long as I can remember.
I also love cheese, wine & cake.

Yes get your thyroid checked by all means. Most likely the reason you are fat is that (like me) you eat too many calories and you have done so for such a long time that you don't know what your body requires. You don't know what is normal and your relationship with food is warped.

There is no magic cure. Being obsessive and neurotic around food doesn't help - but have you asked yourself if you do get obsessive around food, why don't you get obsessive about eating a healthy balanced diet? That kind of obsession might work in your favour? Channel your obsession into obsessing about HEALTHY foods, obsess about eating a BALANCED diet, how many veggies can you eat daily etc.

I am now 44. Experience has taught me that this is actually very simple. You need to eat XX calories per day to maintain your weight. You need to eat less than that amount, daily/weekly/yearly, to lose weight.

From my experience, to do this without eating more vegetables is extremely difficult. This is simple maths - you can eat more vegetables than anything else as they are relatively low in calories - they also supply your body with many more nutrients that you will find in a jar of low fat (prob high sugar) curry sauce or diet foods.

For me it's a mental thing - when I have it sorted in my head, I can lose weight (14 kg's lost since DD2 was born - 10 of those in last few months since I have been calorie counting using MFP to track my meals. Through this I am eating well)

You only need to 'overeat' by a few calories daily to slowly gain weight. So that butter you are spreading too thickly on toast = could equal daily weight gain.

You don't need a diet - you either need to accept being overweight and get on with your life OR you need to change what you eat, for life, in order to lose some weight and keep it off. You need a BALANCED DIET, now & forever.

Oh & best do it as soon as possible - as we need to eat LESS calories as we age, so you will get fatter & fatter if you don't make some permanent changes to your lifestyle.

Sorry but these are just facts of life. The sooner you (and I) embrace them, believe them, and incorporate them into daily life the better.

(I was very spurred on to make permanent changes in my life by visiting my Mum recently. She is now virtually immobilised by her weight - but she will insist she eats only tiny amounts and has done for years. She lies. And still after all these years and health concerns, the delight and giggles that a cake can bring to her is amazing. Sadly she has never made a change in her head. She is about to be hospitalised for her weight issues. Her knees are fucked - they can no longer carry her & she can't have operation to fix as she is so overweight. She has had uterine cancer recently. Her health issues (almost all linked to her weight) are terrifying. )

I think the point Krumbum was making was that simple carbs (pasta, white bread, white rice) turn to sugar very quickly in the bloodstream and the body processes them as sugar. So while they are starch on your plate, they turn to sugar in your body. Lower GI carbs convert more slowly to sugar and not as much sugar is released per weight (wholemeal bread and pasta, wholegrain rice).

To quote something I saw on FB recently:

"There is no diet that will do what healthy eating does.
Skip the diet. Just eat healthy."

BTW "healthy eating" also means sticking to daily calorie limits. I ate brown rice, tofu & wilted greens for most of my 30's - was still fat as my portions where too big.

Do you have a smartphone? For a week or so I would weigh your food and log it using something like the live strong website (website is free, phone app is about £2) and that will give you a far more accurate idea of what you are actually eating. Its far easier and quicker than it sounds!

I have a small set of digital scales in the kitchen and when I eat something like butter, jam, I set the scales to zero, use the jar and then plonk back on scales - the negative number (eg -20g) is what I have then used.

Is really quick and easy. I was suprised how much my estimates were off what I was actually eating. I could then modify my diet accordingly.

Drinking more water also seems to help weight loss.

PLEASE don't worry about wearing a swimming costume. I've reached the point at the grand old age of 28 where I say "fuck it, they've seen cellulite down to people's knees and big wobbly bellies and bums before" and it's true - no one stares at me, and I can't tell you how much freedom it's given me! I love swimming and denied myself for years as I was too ashamed to be seen in a cossie, and there's loads of people all different shapes & sizes from fabulous to fat and no one looks twice at you!

I completely understand you ! I'm now really trying to slim down as I have put 3 stones over the last 4 years, to give you an example of what I eat :

Breakfast : Fat free yogurts with berries
Snack : Peach or nectarine or banana etc..
Lunch : Bulgur wheat with crab stick, tuna flakes, cherry tomatoes, cucomber, spring onions (its really nice and very feeling and you can make a big batch of it !)
Snack : fruits
Dinner : Quorn cumberland sausages + mashed suede/carrots

If I have a sweet craving in the evening, I drink options belgian chocolate, it really helps !

shake I know what you meant but mashed suede gave me a giggle!

I like rice cakes as a savoury crispy snack, I avoid the flavoured ones as they are double the calories, I go for the low fat either slightly salted or plain versions.

I agree with earlier posters who have pointed out this is more of a mindset problem than anything else. And that you have almost definitely buggered up your metabolism.

Do you enjoy your exercise sessions? Do you enjoy the food you are eating? Or is the constant nagging feeling about your weight sapping everything else?

If I were you I would concentrate on moving my diet to eating foods which were: raw, in seaon, local and organic. In that order. You won't be able to do it entirely but it will move you away from eating korma sauces from a jar and miserable low fat spreads.

You need real food and your body needs to know what it feels like to be nourished again.

With the exercise I would personally do the things I enjoy and do well to give me a positive boost. I would defintely add in some outdoor stuff, even just walking, so you get the benefits of being in nature as well as everything else.

But most of all I think I would try a bit of positive thinking. Small changes can and will help but being downbeat will just hold you back and you won't be able to appreciate yourself. Good luck.

Why cock ?? ..Is it obvious that English is not my first language ?

the only thing that works for me is WW. Otherwise I think I am eating healthily but am actually slipping back into bad habits. Exercise is nice, but won't help you loose weight. You have to do a LOT of running to make any impact on your weight

HipHop good post. It is about deciding who you want to be and what is important. I have just made the decision that I want to loose about 3 stones and I am going to do it. I know how to it's just being in the right head space to do it. For me it's just the question Do I always want to be fat? and the answer is No

Others have given good advice here, we all have our pet theories!
There are a lot of issues besides carbs/portions and all that. Silbury, stress can also cause someone to keep weight on. When you're stressed, your body releases cortisol which can interfere with your ability to lose weight.

I sounds like your job is quite hectic and possibly stressful and that may be playing into it as well.
I don't know what you would find relaxing or distressing but if you have a GP perhaps you can discuss with them? And find something that helps you to relax from the job/life if you can.

I love mashed turnip with mash and black pepper.

Stay away from 'diet' food. Low fat usually means full of sugar and it wont keep you full.

Right. Just got in from work.

I ate an apple for breakfast!!!!!

No break in work (again). So not had anything since.

Dh has gone to buy me salad and cottage cheese.

I shall try ditching the pasta and toast carbs.

How long were you at work for? I know it's off topic but you legally should have a break.

7.30. Finished tpday at 2.30 (an hpur earlier than usual.). Breaks???? the nhs doesn't do breaks.

Anyway. I will shut up now and stop beong shallow. Either stop eating crap or put up with fatness. Lets face it. In tbe grand scheme of things being fat isn't much to fret about.

stop buying butter

I LOVE butter but I just cannot have it in the house as it talks to me. Yet I buy flora light and it's a silent creature in the fridge

I agree with the other posters who said it is worth watching 'seceret eaters'. I think the programme said if you eat 100 calories more a day than your body needs you would put on a stone a year!
I was fat for over 10 years but last year I was 13 and a half stone and completely gave up chocolate, biscuits, cakes, biscuits, crisps and ice-cream and then after three months cut down or stopped having the carb bit in meals. It took 8 months to lose 4 and a half stone. I have weighed 9 stone since January. I did absolutely no exercise as it makes me starving and I use food as a reward.
I think ditching the toast will definitely help.
Good luck.

Funnysinlejardin of course exercise helps you lose weight. Ideally it should be cardio and resistance training.