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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is she selfish to not even CONSIDER moving out?

154 replies

WetTheMogwai · 27/06/2012 15:04

Basically, myself, my cousin, my brother and my dad are due to inherit my grandmas 3rd of her house as soon as all the legal stuff is cleared. My auntie and her husband each own a third of the property which they would've inherited but they sorted it years ago to avoid inheritance tax. It was and still is my grandmas house, that was made clear to them when the agreement was made.

Now, both myself and my cousin have young families and struggle greatly with money, my brother is only 19 but desperately wants to get a deposit together to buy a house and my dad has been forced to retire due to ill health so is now very short of money too.

If my auntie and uncle would move out of the house into one more suitable to them (grandmas house is a huge farm house that could be beautiful with enough money poured into it, unfortunately none of us have it) we could sell the house, and each of us would easily have enough to get a deposit for a house and set ourselves up for a much easier and more comfortable life.

Obviously there's a lot of upset and grieving around and we're trying to tread carefully but she's really not willing to help us at all. She has no idea what this money could do for us all and at the moment were stuck with the promise of 'you can have it when she dies'

Great so I could be 50 before I can get on the property ladder!

Thoughts? Im not expecting miracles, I just want her to have the decency to just think about it and think of others before herself for a change? Is that too much to ask?

OP posts:
fatboyslimmum · 27/06/2012 15:05

but it's their home

Clytaemnestra · 27/06/2012 15:07

If the grandma dead or not? I'm a little confused.

shaketheshame · 27/06/2012 15:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

xDivAx · 27/06/2012 15:09

If you stand to inherit a 3rd. Can you not just move in with them? After all it will be your house too!

WenTheEternallySurprised · 27/06/2012 15:10

So you want your aunt and uncle to move out of their home so that you can improve your residential status?

YABVVVU.

AnyoneForTennis · 27/06/2012 15:10

So they own two thirds between them and you want them to move because you have money trouble?

fruitysummer · 27/06/2012 15:11

Ask her to buy your (and families) 3rd of the house at the going rate.

Even if she didn't live in it, she's under no obligation to sell it either.

I'm afraid you are being unreasonable but I understand where you are coming from.

Do you know how much the farmhouse is actually worth?

diddl · 27/06/2012 15:11

So 4 of you own & third, & you want the 2 people who own the other 2 thirds to sell up & move out?

Good luck with that!

Surely they have the "right" to live in it until they die?

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 27/06/2012 15:11

But if your aunt and uncle live there it's their home. I do sympathise because DH and I have a share in a family house and would really appreciate the money now, but a family member lives there and it would be very unfair of us to expect them to move out of their home for our convenience.

LaurieFairyCake · 27/06/2012 15:11

How are you all grieving for someone who is not yet dead Confused Is she sick?

If she's sick and not dead isn't it a bit premature to be talking about selling the place??????

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 27/06/2012 15:12

They may need to get a mortgage for a third of the value, absolutely no need to move out.

AnyoneForTennis · 27/06/2012 15:13

And you don't own a third as its shared between 4 of you...is that right?

ratspeaker · 27/06/2012 15:14

Do you mean they should move out without you giving them a share in the value of the house?
Is your dad willing to hand over his share to you?
What did grandmas will say?
Not quite sure what you mean here

MrsSnow · 27/06/2012 15:14

If its the aunt and uncle who own 2/3 then YABVU to expect them to sell just so that you can improve your financial situation.

A better, more logical, approach would be to tell them you would like to sell your shares:

  • get the house independently valued
  • give them first refusal
  • suggest you might sell your shares to someone else.
naturalbaby · 27/06/2012 15:14

YABU.
Nobody owes you anything.

FluffyJawsOfDoom · 27/06/2012 15:15

Is this for real? Seriously?

You want her to move out of her home so you can have your inheritance - a gift fgs - before she dies?

You're selfish and heartless and I'm Shock you would even consider this to be reasonable.

caramelwaffle · 27/06/2012 15:16

Your grandmother is still alive and living in her home with her daughter and son in law(?)

And you want them to move out to sell the property(?)

Original poster
WetTheMogwai · 27/06/2012 15:17

Ok, just needed to know.

I just think as is can benefit so many people, not just me, then she should consider it. If it was me I know I would, the house is far too big for them, her son and his family live in a caravan, me and my family in a council house an her brother and his family on the bones of their arse.
I just wish she'd look at what good she could do even if it's just for her own son and grandchild

OP posts:
pullupapew · 27/06/2012 15:17

Oooooh, you might want to read your post back to yourself! The phrase 'great so I can have it when I'm 50' sounds pretty unpleasant to me.

Seriously, you have no 'right' to this, someone has generously bequeathed you something and of course you may have to wait, because she is not yet dead.

YABU.

Onthebottomwithawomansweekly · 27/06/2012 15:17

If your grandma is still alive YES YABVVVVU! It is her home and she can pass it to whoever she wants - no matter whether she has said previously it is to pass to you.

If she died recently, and your aunt and uncle are dragging their feet over dividing up the estate, then YABU.

If they are the executors of the estate (that's the person/people nominated under the will to take care of paying debts and paying out bequests) then it's their duty to organise giving you your share of the house. If their duty clashes with their interest (i.e. if they should be selling the house to share out it's value, but they are not doing so because they wish to continue living in it) then you should consult a solicitor.

xDivax's suggestion is good - ask them to mark out 33% of the house as your living quarters - that will put a hurry on them to sort it out!

If they are not the executors of the estate, find out who is (I think you're entitled to see the will if you are named in it, and the executor's name is on the will). Ask that person what their plans are to ensure you receive your inheritance. Again, if that person is dragging their feet, consult a solicitor.

Note: bringing a solicitor into family matters could cause ructions, so I'd only do it as a last resort. However, if your aunt is trying to hang on to the house unfairly, that might be necessary.

MissFaversam · 27/06/2012 15:18

Blimey, selfish or what!

GiserableMitt · 27/06/2012 15:18

Am I right in thinking that your Grandma has died but your aunt lives there and you can have your share when SHE (the aunt) dies?

Onthebottomwithawomansweekly · 27/06/2012 15:19

Ok as your grandmother is still alive I wish I hadn't bothered with the rest of the post - she's under no obligation to give you anything (and with that attitude if you were a relative of mine the will would be changed to exclude you pronto)

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 27/06/2012 15:19

Is your gramdmother dead now then?? They own 2 thirds so really I suppose the best thing for them to do is buy you lot out of your third share.

YABVU for expecting them to move out so you can get on the property ladder....every heard about going it alone rather than ride on someones coat tails??

If she's alive I sort of hope she changes her will and leaves the last third to the local cats home.

AThingInYourLife · 27/06/2012 15:20

I think they need to buy you out.