Is she selfish to not even CONSIDER moving out?

[WetTheMogwai]

Basically, myself, my cousin, my brother and my dad are due to inherit my grandmas 3rd of her house as soon as all the legal stuff is cleared. My auntie and her husband each own a third of the property which they would've inherited but they sorted it years ago to avoid inheritance tax. It was and still is my grandmas house, that was made clear to them when the agreement was made.

Now, both myself and my cousin have young families and struggle greatly with money, my brother is only 19 but desperately wants to get a deposit together to buy a house and my dad has been forced to retire due to ill health so is now very short of money too.

If my auntie and uncle would move out of the house into one more suitable to them (grandmas house is a huge farm house that could be beautiful with enough money poured into it, unfortunately none of us have it) we could sell the house, and each of us would easily have enough to get a deposit for a house and set ourselves up for a much easier and more comfortable life.

Obviously there's a lot of upset and grieving around and we're trying to tread carefully but she's really not willing to help us at all. She has no idea what this money could do for us all and at the moment were stuck with the promise of 'you can have it when she dies'

Great so I could be 50 before I can get on the property ladder!

Thoughts? Im not expecting miracles, I just want her to have the decency to just think about it and think of others before herself for a change? Is that too much to ask?

I think people are trying quite hard to misunderstand actually. It was clear to me what the OP meant in the first post.

Why on earth is she BU to expect to benefit from what will rightly become hers? If the aunt and uncle don't want to leave, they should buy the joint owners out. If that isn't possible then why should they continue to occupy a property they can't afford?

OP - sorry, I clearly misunderstood which 'she' you were referring to! I think you need to repost in legal and make it really clear your situation and get your options.

Tarty I genuinely read 'you can have it when she dies' as 'you can have it when grandma dies'

I agree with AThing

Why is it ok for aunt and uncle to benefit from Granny's legacy but not the OP and the other family members?!

I'm dreading when DP's gran dies. Not only because we will miss her loads but because the whole family are already fighting over her money, sorry, their inheritence

OK. I accept that my earlier post was too harsh. Unfortunately I've seen the unhappiness that can result from this sort of inheritance issue although luckily not in my own family.

It seems, from what has been said, that your aunt and uncle already own two-thirds of the house and the remaining third is split between four others. I realise that it'd be much more helpful if you could release this money but I think you need to accept that it may be more than mere selfishness that has stopped your aunt and uncle immediately offering to move out. So I'd be very tactful in your approach to them and also take legal advice so you know exactly what can and can't be done in this particular circumstance.

My MIL died in October and one of her sons still lived at home with her. There are 4 siblings altogether and no one would dream of telling him to sling his hook, sell the house and give us the money, no matter how much we could all do with it.

Me and DH might have a little grumble amongst ourselves about it sometimes but we would never approach him about it!

Balloonslayer I would however assume that your dad and SM each wrote into their wills that the other could stay in the house until the survivor died and that only then would the value of the house be shared out?

My understanding on this situation is that the Grandma intended the 1/3 share to go to the rest of the family on her death - not when the aunt and uncle decided. (it is an assumption though, and I don't think the OP is going to clarify further as it did turn into a bit of a bunfight!)

She needs to buy you out really doesn't she?

OP, your aunt will need to deal with this sooner or later. The house isn't just hers and she needs to work out a way to either sell or mortage the house to pay all of the beneficiaries out.

This situation happened to a friend of mine and it took a couple of years to sort out. Basically the sister did what your aunt is doing and took an age to pay the others out. Thats really not fair and IMO 'sitting tenants' like this should make some plan for the day when their circumstances change.

"legally i dont think you can force the aunt and uncle to sell but they can and should give you your third or whatever percentage it is in financial terms, so they may have to take out a mortgage to do this but you are not being unreasonable to exepct them to do that if they dont want to sell."

sorry I don't think this is likely to be correct. Most wills have a clause written in to say that [say in this case] the aunt and uncle are entitled to live in the house as long as they should live, and it is only when they have died, or the house is sold (whichever is sooner) that the splitting of the value comes into play. If they sold the house they would have to give up the money to the estate though.

I thought this was all very basic legal stuff that everyone knows - protecting widows and orphans from some beneficiary of a small part of the estate forcing them out of their home so they can get their hands on the money.

WET can you confirm that your Grandmother is no longer alive please? People still seem confused (myself included) as to whether or not your Grandmother is still living.

I'm certainly not trying to misunderstand, but I'm a little confused because this thread seems dominated by the idea that - no matter what a will says - all relatives are entitled to a share of a dead relative's estate. It's just not so. You can write a massively complex will if you so choose. It doesn't have to be 'fair' in the sense of according everyone the same rights. It may be aunt and uncle are actually not required to sell.

This is separate from the moral issue.

I'm sorry that you have lost your grandma.

Re the house, if there is a portion of it that was willed to you, it is no more unreasonable of you to have it than it would be if it was cash or jewellery. It was left to you in a will. Therefore, your grandma wanted you to have it. Had she wanted your aunt to live in it, it would have been easy to have the will state that, and say that after your aunt's death, it would be sold.

There isn't actually anything unreasonable in wanting what was willed to you. Wanting to have what your grandma wanted you to have!

Leave it for a bit. It's too raw now, you're all grieving. I know that people can fixate on things when they're grieving, somehow to distract themselves from their loss, iyswim.

But come back to it. Have the will followed. Have the cash from your share of the house released to you. If this means that your aunt has to get a bit of a mortgage on that part of it, then so be it.

That's what people have to do when they live in a property that is to be divided! They sell it or they buy the other party out.

You aren't the devil incarnate.

Giserable - Grandma is dead, OP has confirmed.

Actually, I think Y really ANBU for asking the question.

Your grandmother has passed away, she left a will sharing out the property, and the only issue here is the legal one - if the law says that you are entitled your your share now then you should have it. If the law says wait until auntie and uncle feel like sharing it then wait. I suspect it will be the first. Why on earth should the only people who count here be two of the five? It is nothing to do with money grabbing, but what your grandmother intended. If she wanted anything else, she should have specified that in her will.

Sorry for your loss btw. I am slightly shocked at the posters who are calling you a vulture (you really are not), when obviously losing a close family member is an sad and emotional time.

Eww I feel a little sick.

Sorry, missed that bit (or seemingly a whole page ). Must read slower.

Balloon a life interest in a property isn't standard and would only be included in special circumstances. And the aunt and uncle are not widows or orphans

right, assuming Granny is dead...

once probate has been cleared aunty and uncle should buy out a third of the house, at current market value

this would be split between you, your counsin, whoever

this seems fair

right?

so just wait for probate to clear

not sure what the issue is

but aunty cant just sit there , as legally you guys own 1/3 of it

hecate - that is not necessarily true.

Legally, it is quite possible the gran willed 2/3 of her house to the aunt and uncle to live in, which would explain why they don't want to sell it. If the OP is only legally deemed to inherit her 1/3 on the aunt's death, it's not remotely selfish the aunt and uncle don't want to sell.

OTOH, the gran could also have written a will (as many people do) insisting the house be sold and the money split three ways.

These are totally different situations, but from the OP, I can't tell which of them might be the case, which is why she needs to see the will.

Arguing about how many people need the money is a separate issue.

"Why is it ok for aunt and uncle to benefit from Granny's legacy but not the OP and the other family members?! "

two things

• the house will probably be worth a lot more when it is finally sold than it is now so they will get more.

• it's not about it being "ok," it's about it was Granny's WILL. That means what she wanted. She wanted her daughter and SIL to remain in their home, even though she owned it, after she died, so she had it written into her will to protect them. And what she wanted, has to happen, because it is in her will. Right and wrong don't come into it. She could have left it to Battersea Dogs' Home and I would not say that was right, but she could have done it and it cannot be overturned and argued with.

There are also a lot of other factors in this, such as:

• if the Granny was unwell for a long time, she might have had to go into a home but for the Aunt and Uncle . . . in that instance the house would have had to have been sold and there may have been little left of the money by now. All conjecture so I won't waste my fingers typing all these hypotheticals.

It'd be useful to know some more precise details about the will. Because I reckon it is quite likely that there is some sort of clause giving the aunt and uncle guaranteed residence in the house for their lifetime. Which is another reason why they were given two thirds of the house outright before the grandmother died.

so in fact, aunty is BU

but wait a bit, be patient

Sole why?

WET can you confirm that your Grandmother is no longer alive please? People still seem confused (myself included) as to whether or not your Grandmother is still living.

The OP confirmed several pages ago that grandma is dead, although most people seem to have not taken much notice.

It seems perfectly reasonable to me that aunt and uncle should sell up or buy the OP out, but I've no idea if the technicalities of the will have some protection against this.