Is she selfish to not even CONSIDER moving out?

[WetTheMogwai]

Basically, myself, my cousin, my brother and my dad are due to inherit my grandmas 3rd of her house as soon as all the legal stuff is cleared. My auntie and her husband each own a third of the property which they would've inherited but they sorted it years ago to avoid inheritance tax. It was and still is my grandmas house, that was made clear to them when the agreement was made.

Now, both myself and my cousin have young families and struggle greatly with money, my brother is only 19 but desperately wants to get a deposit together to buy a house and my dad has been forced to retire due to ill health so is now very short of money too.

If my auntie and uncle would move out of the house into one more suitable to them (grandmas house is a huge farm house that could be beautiful with enough money poured into it, unfortunately none of us have it) we could sell the house, and each of us would easily have enough to get a deposit for a house and set ourselves up for a much easier and more comfortable life.

Obviously there's a lot of upset and grieving around and we're trying to tread carefully but she's really not willing to help us at all. She has no idea what this money could do for us all and at the moment were stuck with the promise of 'you can have it when she dies'

Great so I could be 50 before I can get on the property ladder!

Thoughts? Im not expecting miracles, I just want her to have the decency to just think about it and think of others before herself for a change? Is that too much to ask?

daffy - thanks for clarifying.

But this is not how wills work. The aunt and uncle could have been left everything. They haven't 'done well' - when someone makes a will, they choose who to leave things to, and on what conditions. There's no entitlement to a share, despite what people seem to think.

If the OP's family are only resting on what seems morally right, on a 'promise' (which is not at all clear), then no, the aunt and uncle have do not have an onus on them to give money away. Why would they?

I'd get someone to move into Grandma's flat asap. Auntie and Uncle will soon realise that they've got to do the 'right thing'. But technically they will have to sell anyway because they only own 2/3rds?

If it makes you feel any better, my mother lives in a house worth 1.5M, my brother and his wife and adult son share a tiny council flat, another lives on a boat, another lives in a housing association. I don't think I could stand by and watch my kids and grandkids suffer the way she is, but in the end it's her house and that's that.

LRD actually I totally agree with you, I think I said in my first post that whatever the legal situation is (and none of us know without seeing it) that is what should happen.

I think what is a little hard to stomach are the other attacks on her and personal judgments as to moral rights and wrongs (based on age?!). The OP is allowed to ask the question whether her aunt and uncle should just think about leaving their home, that is fair, thinking isn't packing up their worldly goods.

OP YANBU.

I also agree with the few posters that have said people seem to be trying hard to misunderstand the OP.

You should each get what grandmother has left each of you in the will. People are acting as if the aunt and her dh will be homeless, but they will get 2/3 of the sale price, more than enough to buy a home more suitable to them, everyone else gets enough to put down a deposit on a house.

If anyone is being unfair it's the aunt and uncle, they already stand to inherit 2/3 of the house between them, now they want to keep the other third too?

"It seems likely that Granny would want her daughter to continue living in her (the daughter's) own home and would not want her daughter and son-in-law to have to leave her home because of their mother's death."

It seems certain that if that was what Granny intended, that would have been made clear in the will.

If it wasn't, then the presumption has to be that she wanted her son and grandchildren to benefit from their inheritance once she had passed.

This thread is SILLY! All these people asking repeatedly if grandma is dead...YES! OP was ranty but clear imo and to be asking the same questions over and over only shows people can't be bothered to read!

OP...yanbu...but yabu a bit....but I DO understand and think the same willhappen whn my inlaws die as DHs sister is sitting pretty in her Dads huge house...and wont move ever so she says...it's half DHs when FILdies and FIL is worryin about it!

The Aunt and UNcle should buy them out.

daffy - fair enough. I think personally I'm getting tied in knots as I can't tell if the OP is asking a legal or a moral question.

Morally, it is off (IMO) to think a 19 year old's 'desperation' for a mortgage should overcome the feelings of a middle-aged couple who (I think?) have been caring for the gran. But legally, of course, there is no objection to them inheriting.

The only reason the moral issues come up is because the OP has phrased as a question of who deserves the money more. I think personally at if it's purely about that, then it's not obvious a teenager needs it more than the aunt and uncle need their home, right?

Right

If they have been caring for the gran then perhaps that's why they are getting 2/3 of the house as inheritance. That's just my speculation though :)

Both morally and legally the deceased woman's final wishes should be respected.

So what it says in the will is what should happen - if she made arrangements for the aunt and uncle to have a lifetime interest in the property, they should stay put.

If she didn't then they should (both morally and legally) see to it that the other family members get their share of the inheritance without inordinate delay.

If the aunt and uncle have been allowed to live in the house as long as they want to, or until they die, then, unless they change their minds, or there is some other criteria, like they should keep the house in good repair and they haven't, then there is bugger-all the OP can do.

You need to see a solicitor to check the will and clarify.

Oh, that's true. I keep forgetting that.

But if 4 other people now own part of the house, surely they can't just sit on that share until they die without any form of compensation for the people they share ownership with?

cinnycall - but auntie and uncle wouldnt have exclusive right to the property would they? not without compensating the OP. unless it was stated in the will/gift documentation.

What does the actual will say? Until you know that, discussion with strangers on t'internet won't help!

Although I have to say, you've got a rather rough ride, compared to the reactions garnered by some much, much, much more horrendous inheritance threads on here.

Honestly, what a lot of harumphing over nothing further up the thread. Aunt and uncle can remortgage if necessary rather than move out, if will says one third of the house has been left to others

Am also a bit amazed at how kind some posters are. My brother lives with my mum and dad. When they die, if they leave the house to us all, he can shift it sharpish. I wouldn't leave him living there til he died in a house 3 times bigger than ours when we could sell it and both get somewhere nice. I wouldn't even think twice tbh. It's not that hard to find a place to live! No need for him to have a life interest in it. Some of you are far nicer than me. Mind you he's been sponging off them for years already

merci - you need to be careful about DB living there affecting your rights to sell the property. if you parents want equality between you (which i imagine they do) they need to make sure this can happen without lots of hasstle when they are gone.

Thanks for the advice :) hope it's a long time off but interesting about the 'licensee'

Oh dear. My mother's thinking of putting her house in Trust to my brother. Not a good idea is it really...

I bet your granny would be horrified if she knew your aunt/uncle were hanging on to the house/land she intended to be shared out. Yes it is partly your aunts/uncles home but it is also partly yours and your relatives. Unless granny asked you to wait till aunt had passed away in which it would be best to wait.

It's simple really. Either the aunt/uncle buy you all out at a fair price (they have had years to save but may need to get a mortgage) or they sell the house or part of the house in order to give everyone their money.

I'm sure if you saw a solicitor, you would be able to push through the sale - unless granny wanted you to wait till aunt had passed away that is.

For people whose Parents are embarking on this arrangement - get them to make sure the house is a tenancy in common not joint, then shares can be defined.

Fwiw, DH and I own a 50% share in my parents house. When my parents both die, we will either have to sell the house or buy out my siblings. We won't keep living here without doing either of those.