Is she selfish to not even CONSIDER moving out?

[WetTheMogwai]

Basically, myself, my cousin, my brother and my dad are due to inherit my grandmas 3rd of her house as soon as all the legal stuff is cleared. My auntie and her husband each own a third of the property which they would've inherited but they sorted it years ago to avoid inheritance tax. It was and still is my grandmas house, that was made clear to them when the agreement was made.

Now, both myself and my cousin have young families and struggle greatly with money, my brother is only 19 but desperately wants to get a deposit together to buy a house and my dad has been forced to retire due to ill health so is now very short of money too.

If my auntie and uncle would move out of the house into one more suitable to them (grandmas house is a huge farm house that could be beautiful with enough money poured into it, unfortunately none of us have it) we could sell the house, and each of us would easily have enough to get a deposit for a house and set ourselves up for a much easier and more comfortable life.

Obviously there's a lot of upset and grieving around and we're trying to tread carefully but she's really not willing to help us at all. She has no idea what this money could do for us all and at the moment were stuck with the promise of 'you can have it when she dies'

Great so I could be 50 before I can get on the property ladder!

Thoughts? Im not expecting miracles, I just want her to have the decency to just think about it and think of others before herself for a change? Is that too much to ask?

I don't know why everyone is so confused, seemed pretty obvious that the OP's gran had passed away and the family were waiting for probate.

OP i can understand of course you want the money you have been left, it would make a great difference to you and other members of your family too. But try not to get resentful of your aunt and uncle, it is their home and you can't hold it against them if they want to stay in their own home. Have you spoken to them about whether they can buy you out? I think you really need to have that conversation first before any resentment builds up.

athing - that is a good point ... they should of course be renting the third part. Though presumably this was not an issue until the gran died?

I think you ought to do as Mrs Snow suggests.

Making them homeless might not be such a lovely thing to do.

But I also think you might want to see a lawyer to clarify the situation wrt them living there for many years. Would there be a chance of you losing your right to your share of the property if they had sole access to it and no rent for over 15 years?

Yes, I know that sounds hard but I always think that being clear about these things doesn't mean you don't love people any less, or miss the people who are gone. In all the excessive rites of love and grieving that people have developed across time and culture, though I'm sure extravagant destroying of worldly possessions in their wake figures large, I tend to think of it as symbolic excess, for myself, and serving no real purpose.

And I am sorry for your loss.

Right see if I've got this clear

Grandma died.
estate in in probate
Aunt and husband currently live in the house.

Aunt and husband did a deal with grandma years ago to get their share of inheritance early, presumably they've paid grandma or paid towards house.

So aunt owned third of grandmas house before grandma died.

two thirds of the house may go to your dad and his sibling?

A lot will depend on the terms of the will and if anyone wants to buy the others out

Have to wait until you are 50? Welcome to the real world then! And be grateful you have any sort of inheritance.

In fact, I'd make you wait a deal longer with an attitude like yours. Why not make your own way in the world instead of expecting unearned income to sort you out?

You aren't desperate!you have a roof fgs

Did the grandma leave a share of the house to you OP or just your dad?

YANBU

If your aunt and uncle want to remain living there they should buy out your share of the house, it's not fair that you have to wait for the inheritance your grandmother left to you just because they don't want to move

Thankyou mango

We've tried to have the conversation many times but she won't even think about it, not even the first time it was mentioned.

I'm going to ask for this thread to be deleted now because obviously I worded it badly and people are getting the wrong end of the stick. I know it's a very sensitive subject so I don't want it to become a slanging match.

Thankyou for your replies, good and bad, it puts the situation back into perspective

ratspeaker - I think you might be assuming a lot there.

No-one is obliged to share out inheritance equally amongst relatives. There is no reason to think the aunt and uncle got 'their' inheritance 'early' ... there's no such thing as an inheritance you're entitled to unless it says so in the will or the person dies intestate.

Do you know the full terms of the gift??

Your gran has 2 kids presumably, your aunt and your dad.

She leaves 2 thirds to her daughter and husband and 1 third to her Son and other family members.

I think there is more to this, most parents leave equal shares in their wills i know i'm lining myself to be proved wrong here

"In fact, I'd make you wait a deal longer with an attitude like yours. Why not make your own way in the world instead of expecting unearned income to sort you out?"

FFS

She can expect unearned wealth to sort her out, because it hers and she is entitled to it.

Why should the aunt and uncle benefit from unearned wealth at the expense of their relatives?

wet - you mean she won't hear of moving out? Or she won't hear of paying you a share?

I think you need to be very clear what the will says - have you seen it?

My auntie and her husband each own a third of the property which they would've inherited but they sorted it years ago to avoid inheritance tax

the aunt & uncle were given their shares of the house - to avoid inhertiance tax. they cannot have paid market price or it would not avoid inhertiance tax.

i dont think A&U are saints here.

I understand what you mean, I would quite probably have similar thoughts in the same situation. Your grandmother's money is meant to be shared out among the family but a large amount is being sat upon by your aunt and uncle. However, the way you have phrased it is quite selfish. It is their home after all, even if you consider it to be too big for them, that's their decision to make. All you can do is hope that they come to that conclusion themselves at some point. Anything else could cause a lot of bad feeling and a family rift.

So to confirm - Granny has died, probate is still being sorted out.

Aunt and Uncle live in the house and now own 2/3 - you, your DB, Cousin and DF own the remaining 1/3 and need the money.

Aunt has said you have to wait until she dies to get the share of the house you own now because she won't sell.

I think you can insist that either Aunt and Uncle buy you out at market rate (get 4 estate agents round, two she picks, two you pick, average the value) - if they have to raise a mortgage that should be easy enough, or they sell it and you'll take the share from that.

If your Aunt and Uncle aren't prepared to discuss this now and you aren't prepared to get solicitors involved to force the issue, remember that your brother and you could both borrow against the equity you now have in this house. Your DB would be perfectly able to secure his mortgage on that house, as could you and your cousin, the Aunt and Uncle then are taking the risk that you all won't default and might prefer the security of buying you all out now...

i agree 100% athing

Yeah, this isn't about the legitimacy or otherwise of inherited property. There is unearned wealth in this situation and someone's going to benefit from it- fact. If people don't think it's right to inherit anything at all and that all assets should pass to the state on death then fine, but otherwise the unearned wealth argument is bullshit. If it's ok for aunt and uncle to inherit unearned wealth, it's ok for OP to. What's sauce for them is sauce for her. Either OP and the aunt are both entitled grabbers, or neither are.

athing - you don't know she's entitled to it.

I'm not clear from the OP what the situation actually is.

I do know it is perfectly possible to write a will that doesn't share everything equally amongst all relatives. The OP seems (and this may be incorrect) to be confusing a moral obligation and a legal one.

One third was given away (gifted) early to your aunt.

One third to you and other relatives.

To whom has the other third been left? Your aunt, or others not in the family?

so gma is dead, aunt and uncle live in the house and already legally have their 'share' as it was sorted ages ago. the rest is in probate but is to be divided between you and your dad and another sibling?

legally i dont think you can force the aunt and uncle to sell but they can and should give you your third or whatever percentage it is in financial terms, so they may have to take out a mortgage to do this but you are not being unreasonable to exepct them to do that if they dont want to sell.

I think if Granny's dead they need to buy you out. If that means selling, so be it.

I say this, not because I think they should but because when my grandfather died last year my aunt and mum had to put the house up for sale so that Mencap could get their share of the proceeds (Grandpa left them a percentage of whatever the house sold for in his will). Mum and aunt got the rest, but the house definatly had to be sold. There was no issue though as neither my mum or aunt were keen to hold on to the house.

Don't know how difficult it is to force a sale if someone wants to hold onto the property.

Wet I misunderstood further up the conversation and kind of went off on one, apologies.

If your aunt is refusing to give others their share of the property, or pay them appropriately for the use of their share, then she is being unreasonable. Definitely talk to a solicitor about this.

I'm in a small house myself, miles from anywhere. I don't expect a handout from anyone, but if I found out someone had deliberately held back an inheritance that would enable me to live walking distance from friends and family, rather than a 30 mile drive - which in other words would vastly improve the quality of my life and of my DD's life....well I would be taking professional advice.

My Stepmother left her share of the house she and my Dad owned to her two children. One got on well with my Dad and one did not. He left his share to my two sisters and I. We all got on well with my Stepmother.

She died five years before him. When he died, I was the executor of his will and I had great pleasure in sending off the fat cheques to her children of their half of the house, five years after their mother's death. Neither of them had said a word to us or Dad about the wait.

Had my Dad died before her, even though we are not desperate for money, I expect I would probably have thought at some point "that's half my inheritance stuck there in that house" but I would NEVER have said anything, certainly not to my Stepmother, even though the house would have been too big for her to cope with without my Dad and a nice sheltered housing flat would have been better. I don't think I would have even voiced it to DH and I certainly wouldn't have moaned on an internet forum about it.

Some things are just "not cricket."