To say screw you society, I just had a baby and I'm going to be fat!

[confusedgypsychick]

Actually to say screw you media, mom and all the women who tell me how "easy" it was to loose the weight after the baby. Grrrrrr.

Oh and I think YANBU that people shouldn't be pressuring you.

YANBU to tell people to mind their own business.

However it might be an idea to read the thread back to yourself when you do feel ready to lose weight.

I think you'll see that almost every time someone has suggested something to help, you've put a barrier up against it.

You're obviously not ready yet...so just tell them to butt out until you are.

To me it sounds like you're up against it with no pavement to walk on and the criticism from your mum and brother. I think this can have a big impact- when I had my first DC my father came to visit me the next day, so DS was 1 day old, I opened my front door and the first thing he said was, 'Are you having another one?'. I explained how I'd just given birth and you don't loose the stomach as soon as it pops out. My father proceeded to tell me how my mother did and never looked the same as she did minus the pregnancies with both myself and DB. He is right, in the photos she appears to be wearing tight high waisted flares (late 70's). My mum, disagreed with him but the thoughtless remark was out there. He is hyper critical and my response is always defensive but in the long run and get more obsessed with the points he makes, go out to prove him wrong and inevitably fail!

I think you're right- fuck society and do it at your leisure. My second baby is 14 months and I'm still 1.5 overweight. I am still breast feeding frequently and it has definitely hindered my weight loss as I'm always eating. I walk 4.4 miles for the school run about 3 times a week and notice weight loss in 24 hours but it is a cycle and after breast feeding, sleep deprivation, I have a huge appetite. I know where I'm going wrong- to much wine and I probably consume about 2500 calories a day. I have lost 1/2 stone recently just from the walking but it had plateaued so I know where you're coming from!

Worraliberty,

I'm not putting up a barrier, but everything everyone has said is stuff I either can't do for obvious reasons (walking to work) or have already tried and it doesn't work.

This is why I just want people off my bleeding back. I was losing weight (was 15 kilos overweight after DS was born) but I seemed to have plateaued, and until the weather cools down there's not much more I can do. Yet people (co-workers as well) keep commenting on how I "should be thinner"

Food diary? So even if you've limited access to healthier foods you can control your calorie and fat intake? Exercise dvd? Change cooking methods (grilling instead of frying etc)?

Jogging on the spot? Running up and down stairs? Star jumps?

No, I'm not happy being fat. However, I'm even less happy with the pressure to be back to my old size only 6 months after giving birth. Especially with all I've got going on and the constraints of the summer.

OP, many posters have given their advice on things you can do when you are ready and inclined. Also, many posters have responded as you wanted, telling you to ignore comments and not to worry about it yet.

YOU are being very defensive, fine if you are happy as you are, doing as you are doing,but then you would let comments from your mother go way over your head. You are obviously not happy as you are so stop responding with excuse after excuse, and find a solution that works for you.

YANBU to think people should stop commenting on your weight. How rude! You are only 6 months into having given birth, so take it easy on your self. It sounds like a nightmare to exercise there and also with no healthy lunch options , no wonder so many in the UAE are overweight.

8 kilos is nothing, it will disappear over time, if you are eating normally 9no diet).

I put on over 4 stone in my pregnancy (o.k. so i am over 6ft and baby weighed 10 pounds), I was 3 stone overweight after birth.

I never dieted, just continued as normal and after a year or maybe a bit more I had lost all of it. I cut out puddings, but no diet as such. I did go swimming 3 times a week.

Lots of people go back to how they were with time.

I think diets are actually bad for a person and create food issues and obsessions.

Ah celebs and their post-baby miracle figures... it's called a NIP & TUCK and can be done just after the c-section or a little later. If you go private you can get it done here too!
9 months on, 9 months off OP at least so I wouldn't worry about it, seems like you've got enough to do without the pressure of getting rid of the baby wobble too... tell your mom to back off...

(Ps I was in a hot country too! where walking to work was a risky thing to do, but swimming was an option)

I don't understand why you can't try reducing your portion sizes. If you don't want to, then fine, but you seem very determined that everything suggested must be completely impossible, which I guess is frustrating for people offering advice. You don't sound very happy in your current situation, but you don't seem to want to do anything about it either.

If you don't want your mother to comment on your weight (and that does sound very annoying and unhelpful), then ask her not to - and if necessary end the conversation if she keeps going on about it.

The more I think about it, actually, the more I think this is not just about weight, it's about you taking control of your life. But the decision to do that has to come from you, and maybe at the moment you are not ready.

OP where in the UAE are you that the pools/gyms restrict you to women only sessions? I used to live in Dubai and never saw that? Are you in Sharjah or somewhere?

I sympathise re the heat though- I remember once coming out of Bikram yoga and realising it was actually hotter outside than in the studio.

Re time, okay, this is a controversial one, but can you get a helper? Can't be more expensive than nursery and a lot more flexible.

My DD is two and I am still not back to pre-pregnancy weight, but even more than the weight, my body shape has changed. My pelvis was injured during labour, I think, as I have had on-going pain that keeps me from being as active as I was before or even during the pregnancy. Along with that, we moved house and my former lifestyle (I walked everywhere) is no longer feasible. I run around after DD and I breastfed (still do one BF a day) and I no longer drink nearly as much as I used to, as I never go out! I eat healthy food at meals, but I do eat chocolate and drink too many lattes. I was never a skinny, exercising person, but my daily activity and an occasional tweak of my diet kept me in a size 10 or 12, which was good enough for me.

Now I feel fat and inactive, and my hips hurt all the time (yes, I have been repeatedly to the dr). I am not happy about it, but people nagging me about it would make me downright miserable, and no, it would not motivate me in the slightest. I understand how you feel, I think, OP.

Forget about making time to exercise for a minute, and think about ways to get more time to yourself, period. I think that's a bigger issue, and its one I can relate to. If you had more time to yourself, you might feel happier and that should come before the weight loss, not as a result of. That's my theory, anyway!

Richman, I live just outside Abu Dhabi. My compound does the whole women's hours thing. I'm currently petitioning for a change to the hours and to open the public pool for "laps only" time, but I'm not getting much support from the rest of the community.

I looked for another pool, but the only ones are either at hotels (crazy expensive) or are government, are way out of my way and again have stupid women's hours restrictions.

Having a live-in maid would be cheaper, but we don't have the space, an unlike many of the others here, I'm not comfortable sticking her in a closet. (Sure you remember how some of the poor maids lived here :( )

Actually thinking about it now...

The OP has said she has a poor diet and often only eats burgers for lunch and doesn't always have time to prepare healthy meals at home.

She has also pointed out that there is no way in the world she can do any form of exercise.

All her Mum has said is, "You've got to find more time to exercise, you've got to eat better"

So she's not wrong is she? And she hasn't mentioned weight either

No I didn't say I only eat burgers for lunch, most often I manage to bring vegetables or salad for lunch. And I do prepare healthy meals at home every single night. Last night was the first time in 2 months we had take away. Also, I go for a walk 3 or 4 times a week for half an hour to 45 minutes.

But you do agree your diet could be much better and that you don't have as much time to exercise as you need?

Therefore, I don't see what your Mum said was wrong?

confused Fair enough- was just trying to think around it with my "expat" hat on. Didn't realise AD was so conservative (well I did, but not in terms of womens' hours in gyms).

You could do it if you put the effort in.Something like aerobics oz style daily or the wii
.Additionally walk everwhere you can very fast etc.Carry baby in sling fast everywhere etc.There are loads of ways to do it very easily with no gym or child free time

What she said is right, however, that's all she ever says to me.

Rich, there are a lot more options on-island, but as I'm stuck off-island my options are limited.