To say screw you society, I just had a baby and I'm going to be fat!

[confusedgypsychick]

Actually to say screw you media, mom and all the women who tell me how "easy" it was to loose the weight after the baby. Grrrrrr.

Being fat certainly does punish society.

I've just written an essay on this so I'm going to show off flash some stats.

From the Foresight Report 2008, the analysis shows that over half the UK adult population could be obese by 2050. the NHS costs attributable to overweight and obesity are projected to double to £10 billion (emboldening my own) per year by 2050. the wider costs to society and business are estimated to reach £49.9 billion per year (at today's prices).

So yes, the obesity epidemic is a massive crisis facing our society.

OP, yy lose the weight but do it slowly. Celebs that snap back into bikinis in a few weeks are best ignored really.

Longtalljosie, I do, but I'm exhausted from trying to fit it all in. Every time I try and fit in exercise something comes up, every time I start eating healthy something happens and I no longer have time to make healthy food.

When I was home I used to walk everywhere, sometimes 2 or 3 hours a day, plus workout, but here in the ME I can't walk anywhere (even in the nice seasons there's no bloody sidewalks), can't find a decent gym or pool with hours that work for me, have a 6 month old that still wakes twice a night which means I'm constantly tired and have a job where I sit at a desk all day.

I've tried cutting carbs, tried skipping meals, tried everything, and nadda. I just seem to be getting fatter.

I'm stressed to the max and cry every time my mother gets at me about working out, every time my brother tells me how much weight I've gained, and every time I see some stupid starlet loose it all two days after giving birth.

Size 8 up to size 16 or 18, is that normal in pregnancy? Yes, maybe I'm lucky that having babies actually seems to make me lose weight, though I doubt it was healthy and I really looked drawn and scrawny after my first so not ideal and nothing to be proud about. But to gain that much weight, I don't understand it and if you are going to eat that much then surely you know the consequences.

It's all well and good having that attitude as long as you are really happy with it and not trying to convince yourself that you dont mind being a bit overweight. From the contaxt of your messages though OP it sounds like you arent but are looking for justification that its ok.

The only way to lose weight is diet and exercise and thats it...75% diet, 25% exercise so even if you dont get time to work out then massively controlling your diet is going to do it....8 kgs isnt much and if you really want to do it you could.

How old is your baby?? 9 months on, 9 months off - if your baby is older than 9 months then you cant use that as an excuse anymore!

Hi confused, I've been there, it's shite. I returned to work when DD1 was about 20 weeks and still had weight to lose.

I agree with curryspice, it's a mindset. I worked shift (fulltime) hours so I just forced myself to stick DD into the creche and did half an hour. When exDP was at home and the creche was closed in the evenings, I'd be in the gym at 9pm.

It wasn't just a weight issue though, I need to be fit for work. Society didn't come into it.

I'm having a similar issue now - completely unfit and could do with losing half a stone or so. I've been taking DD2 for walks where I'd normally drive. DP has been home the last couple of evenings, I've been for a run and a bike ride. If I don't mix it up, I get bored. I try to convince myself it's fun

Anyway, I'm rambling. The point I'm making is that if you want to lose the 8kg then it's a case of finding that bit of time to exercise, if that works for you! But the only pressure you have to do it, is the pressure you place on yourself.

Are you happy about being 'fat'? If not then I agree it sounds like you're only punishing yourself here.

If you're happy the way you are then fine, but don't make it some kind of rebellion against your mother or 'society' at your own expense, that sounds a bit childish.

8 kilos isn't really a lot anyway, that's not much more than a stone, is it? I doubt many people will really notice or care if you lose/gain that amount. If your mother is being silly about it, just ignore. You should be able to lose that just by cutting back a bit (eating healthily isn't going to do it if you are still eating too much). Exercise is good obviously, but I can imagine it's difficult with a small baby and in a hot climate, and personally I find it's diet that makes the biggest difference to my weight anyway.

..and are you eating enough, thats the other thing. Dont go silly and not eat much at all or your body will go into starvation mode and hang onto every single calorie you consume....another thing to think about.

Make an honest food diary for a week and then access if you are overeating or not. If you know you arent then maybe ask GP for a blood test to rule out thyroid problems.

Don't celebs have lipo with their c-section? I alway assumed that's how they didn't still look pregnant after giving birth.

My DS didn't sleep for longer than 2 hours at a time until about 18 months (and at some points it was every 45 mins, certainly in the evenings for a long time). I'd have lamped someone who suggested I should be finding time in the evenings for exercise!

Ah xposted with your update. If finding exercise is the issue, what about a skipping rope and free weights? And whilst I hate them, apparently lunges are good.

Confused, I think your thread title and the flippant use of 'fat' maybe made some people think 'mmm, ok'. No one really expects new mums to spring back ito shape, we expect people to put on some weight and to take some time to get it back off, if ever back to their pre-pregnancy shape. That kind of heat is shite and it can totally sap your energy on top of new mum tiredness.

Celebrities are usually in peak condition before conceiving and try and maintain their wring while pregnant, they have a huge incentive and often get some help like tummy tucks etc. They are a breed apart.

Confused, you sound as though you don't have much support.

DH expects meals served to him, although you work full time as well.

DM is just harping on about you losing weight, without being in a position to provide practical solutions (either by giving help, or practical advice).

From what you have posted, this isn't just "baby weight" that needs shifting.

So, you need to speak to DH about giving you a chance to do some exercise (make sure you get to go for that walk at least every other day, while he prepares a meal that doesn't need cooking like cold chicken and salad) and get some support to lose some weight (lots of threads on MN, online Weight Watchers, that kind of thing).

And speak to DM, if you can. Without being stroppy, can you tell her you could really do with her support, that you would like to lose weight, and are finding it difficult, that you feel a bit snowed under by your situation, working full time, and having a little baby, and that her nagging you is just adding to your stress? Perhaps a letter or an email would be good. (If you don't think this will come off, you may just have to learn to tune her out.)

And remember, it is perfectly possible to be both fat and fit. It is perfectly possible to be thin and unfit. Healthy is the goal, not thin.

Every time I try and fit in exercise something comes up, every time I start eating healthy something happens and I no longer have time to make healthy food

Why does it take extra time to make healthy food though? Perhaps you need to plan your meals and shopping better?

Oh and definitely get your DH to do some cooking.

What if you don't have time to make healthy food when the kids are a bit older? I'm sure you'd make time rather than feed them a poor diet?

Hownoobrooncoo 'Is size 8 to 16/18 normal in pregnancy?' That's not really relevant is it - you lost weight in pregnancy, that's not 'normal' either, but I'm not trying to be a bitch about it. What's your problem?

'To gain that much weight I don't understand it' Well, not sugggesting that you're a really thick bitch or anything much but it's not fucking rocket science and I already explained it to you once. What makes you think you need to understand it anyway, nobody cares what you understand, just shut up and try to work it out quietly in your own time.

'If you were going to eat that much surely you knew the consequences' Yes, and? Noone said it was a fucking surprize. HTH

Not sure what it has to do with society or anyone else TBH. I wanted to lose the baby weight so I could fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes and feel good about myself as well as being healthy.

I didn't rush it with DS1 as I wasn't ready but after 4 months I started eating healthily etc and lost all the weight within the following 4 months. It was a bit easier with DS2 as I was doing lots of running around with my 2 yr old as well.

I would say screw society - do it for yourself!

But I agree - it has to be when you are ready!!!

I was struggling to lose weight after having DC2. After DC1 I lost the weight after 4 months. After DC2 with the stress of having 2 little ones I was comfort eating in the evenings, and although I wasn't gaining weight I wasn't losing it either as I should have been. But in Feb I started going out to exercise, a zumba class twice a week and did the Shred for a couple of weeks (didn't enjoy that so stopped), and cut down on the cakes and biscuits and reduced portion sizes and lo and behold lost a stone, and now I weigh less than I did pre pregnancy. DC2 is now 22 months though, so it's taken a while.
OP - I'm sure you will eventually lose the weight. Just get more active if you can .I can understand that if you are in a hot country it is difficult to exercise, so I sympathise with that. Is there any air conditioned gyms around? And eat less - you should be losing the weight. If not go see the doctor to see where the problem lies.

OP - I went to WW sessions once a week, I lost 30lbs in 17 weeks with no excerise at all, its about sticking to something - its no good skipping meals or cutting out carbs as that is just 'fad' dieting and never works long term.

You DO have to be ready for it though otherwise it is not possible. Don't feel pressure from anyone else other than yourself!

"Why does it take extra time to make healthy food though?"

Dinners aren't bad, breakfast and lunch is. I don't have time to prepare a healthy breakfast in the morning so generally eat granola & low fat milk (bad cause of carbs) and for lunches I try and chop up veg and make salads, but I don't always have time and end up eating at the cafeteria here which doesn't serve anything but burgers. Which is typical here in the UAE, which is one of the most obese countries in the world. healthy take out is non-existent.

I used to think 'baby weight' meant the bit of extra weight gained during pregnancy that was mainly fluid etc? And I've always wondered why when I was a kid (I'm 43 now) even after a pregnancy, women were generally nowhere near as overweight as they are in 2012.

But having read the thread, is it safe to assume many people are not actually talking about 'baby weight', they're talking about binge/comfort eating during and after pregnancy?

If that's the case, it's starting to make sense.

Ahh X posted OP.

Well maybe that's where your DH could start getting involved.

Get him to chop some veg and make a couple of salads to keep in the fridge.

Brooncoo - I went from a size 6/8 to a size 16 with both my pregnancies and it took me a full year afterwards to lose it. I did eat a lot, but I was very very hungry!

Most women I know have been quite ''fat" for at least a few months after having babies. I think that's normal even if you don't eat crap.

I always prepare lunch the night before if I needed to chop fruit/veg etc. I generally just eat fruit/low fat yoghurts for lunch and sometimes some hard boiled eggs or fresh chicken (all prepared the night before).

My rule for evening meals is anything fresh so fresh meat/fish/potatoes/pasta/rice/veg etc etc. I have a couple of rich tea biscuits with a cup of coffee late in the evening.

It does take a bit more time to prepare decent meals especially preparing veg etc so if you don't have time for that can you buy pre=prepared fruit and veg? I try to do that when I know I have a busy week, it is more expensive but actually gives you more variety and takes no time to sort out.

It's 'normal' to gain a little weight yes, but I can't imagine it's normal to gain a huge amount unless you have a very poor diet during and after pregnancy?

You can sometimes find pre-prepared fruit and veg here, but not often, and when you do it's most often times half rotten, and the fruit almost always contains strawberries which I'm deathly allergic to.

Guess I'm just going to have to keep pushing myself harder.

"I don't know how the celebs do it. Is their a pill you can have if your famous and have been in Closer more than 3 times?"

Chances are if you're skinny before baby, you'll be skinny after. A lot of celebs are stick thin to begin with. If they only put the baby weight on chances are they'll lose it very quickly.

I'm one of the lucky ones who loses a lot of weight breastfeeding. I actually lose too much and start to look scrawny as I always find the first 6 mths hard physically with not much time to eat a proper meal. I survived on complan and sandwiches last time.

I'm always surprised that mums seem to put on weight. I was much more sedentary and prone to weight gain before I had children. I have a good appetite and do eat cake but I don't have a car, walk everywhere and carry my children in slings, on backpacks on my shoulders/in arms for quite a long time etc and am always rushing around. I'm fitter than I've ever been but as I say perhaps I'm just lucky.