Proposing on somebody else's wedding... AIBU?

[aurynne]

Hi all. My DP and I are getting married in January, in a very simple beach wedding followed by a BBQ, only family and close friends, all staying in an outdoors centre very close to the beach (note: wedding is in New Zealand, and it's Summer there in Jan :).

One of my friends, who is invited to the wedding, told me some days ago that she is planning to propose to her DP in my wedding, "as she thinks it would be very romantic". I did not say anything, because I was a bit taken aback, to be honest.

Now I have had time to think about it, I have conflicting feelings about it. I am very relaxed about my wedding, no dress code, no formalities, etc... So I do believe I am as far away from a bridezilla as can be. However, there is something I don't like about someone else using our wedding to frame their own proposal.

As I honestly have no idea about wedding etiquette, and it may just be that I am being selfish and should just be happy for my friend, I would like to ask for wisdom here...

AIBU to feel a bit uncomfortable with the idea and considering asking her to propose the day after?

Have you ever proposed on someone else's wedding, or know someone who did? Do you think it is appropriate? If you witnessed it, how did it go?

I honestly think YABU

I'm sure this happens a lot. Weddings are a celebration of love and togetherness, after all

Unless she's planning to do it publicly, then it's not a problem.

You sound a bit mean-spirited, TBH

TBH - all this "your day" stuff sounds Bridezilla, to me.

This is all assuming she does it privately

If she was planning to do it privately she'd hardly have announced her intention to do so to the bride herself

I don't agree that's necessarily the case.

I think lots of assumptions are being made here

My cousin proposed at our wedding and it was lovely.

Unless someone was to get up in middle of the ceremony or first dance & propose i can't see how they would really steal the bride & grooms thunder.

Hopefully on your wedding day you will be surrounded by people who love you and want to celebrate with you. There are plenty of things at a wedding that can 'divert' attention (drunken guests, wardrobe malfunctions, etc etc!) but it doesn't have to change the feel of the day.

I wouldnt want to be the centre of attention all day anyway, the evening bit is about everyone having a great time

My husband said "you know I'm going to marry you someday, right?" at my friend's wedding. It was outside in the garden, really private and very sweet. He didn't propose properly until a few years later but it's a really happy memory. My friend thought it was really sweet.

Ahh, that sounds lovely, McSquared