To think MNers should make a stand and stop this competitive gift giving to primary teachers?

[LoopyLoopsCorgiPoops]

When did this nonsense begin? Is it really necessary? Just stop for crying out loud, they do get paid.

It will only get worse and worse unless people start to rein things in. AIBU to think we (MN) should change the trend?

alpha mum,yes the mother superiors
a well known mn topic and any cursory search if schoolmates on googled oil do trick too
they hunt in packs

Homemade card with a Freddo frog bought by my daughter with her OWN money for her teacher...... teacher said it meant the world to her....

don't DO competitive if you don't want to....

the alphamums and wags are relentless in their pursuit though
they missed calling as bailiffs perhaps

Wow. Apart from my sisters experiences, I have no knowledge of all this conpetitive gift giving going on around me. Never done a ta dah moment when running a colllection, always just sent it in with one of the kids. No one has ever asked me what I gave individually, never asked anyone else.is this just london and independent sector?

Ime it's an affluence thing
cough up,after all you/we can afford it

but that's the thing queen bee and her wean do the tah dah give
it's all v political

Sounds crap. Glad my experiences are different.

I now know why I refuse to give anyone my mobile number or befriend me on FB :) can't hunt me down for money!

Can't beat a card and a cuddle IMO

This is bullshit. If your child's teacher has made a difference or put in some effort and you want to show your appreciation, then do it. I don't intend to reference anyone else when I decide what to buy or whether to buy. Just stand for yourself and don't feel pressured to spend loads if you don't want to!

I think the biggest gift you can give a teacher is a child who is a pleasure to be with, who is polite and attentive. My mate taught privately and got mega-gifts at the end of term, but she wouldn't remember with fondness the child whose parents dug deepest, but those with the best temperaments and behaviours.

It's difficult whn your child is being told you are mean, rude unapprecitive etc. It's hard seeing your child in tears but I don't give in and spend a few hundred as making my family do without food would be worse.

I think some of these parents would benefit from the parable of the widow's mite.

I agree that competitive gift giving is out of hand in some schools. At DS2's kindergarten, for example, bossymum sends an email round everyone suggesting a donation of £5 per staff member per child, ie expecting each parent to cough up £30. There are about 30 children at the kindergarten so £150 in JL vouchers per staff member! Ridiculous. I don't contribute, would rather do something personal.

At the other end of the spectrum, at the secondary school I taught at, nobody got gifts from pupils that I know of.

My kids usually give something homemade (eg. biscotti, a jar of jam, chocolates).

A teacher recently got a Next voucher for over £300 at a local school. I was gobsmacked!

it's competitive at our place certainly with some parents even bringing in posh champagne a few days before now all decked out with bows presumably to stand out. I;d like to but this year will struggle to afford anything, last year ds1 (a talented kid) made beautiful necklaces. probably will bake shortnread this time- problem is that as ours all need extra help in school, the giving list of TAs etc comes close to 20!

Peachy I am totally astounded. Did they actually accept the £300 voucher?? Good grief..Was it a collection gift or from one person?

Scottishmummy yes your right there are guidelines in a inderpendant school these will be set by the headmaster in a LA school then the rules are set by each indervidual LA and covers every single LA employee both sectors are also covered by actual laws relating to gifts/gratuities and tips as taxible income.
Any gift gratuitie and tip recived either in the workplace or as a direct and sole result of your employment has to be combined and declared and tax paid on it if it takes you over your personal allounce also regular gifts gratuities and tips (payments once a year are concidered to be regular) recived as a result if your employment also have to be declared to other agencys should you be involved with them I.e a teacher or TA on lower rate pay with some or several children may be in recept of housing benefit and nobody may know this due to people not wanting to let people know should they recive £150 as a gift from parents in sole relation to employment this has to be declared and could result in benefit being lowered if it's not declared it's both or one of either tax fraud or benefit fraud. IMHO it kinda defeats the intention of a gift.
Cash and gift vouchers are always subject to these regulations as would a expensive item like the £250 vase mentioned previously
and that's quite aside from it being just a compleatly twatish thing to do

Oh and hmrc also count stuff like champagne and wine as an asset and declareable item

I loved the homemade card and Freddo combination! As a secondary teacher, I can honestly say I would be thrilled to get a Freddo as a gift.

Mmmm, am definitely likeing the Freddo idea (as a teacher)

the £300 voucher doesn't surprise me
and yes this all went on at nursery too.£5 was the expected amount.

regards the suggested amount they say suggested to lessen the gallus pressure to give. well aye in a fashion. you dont give (and i dont) and you get the face from alphamum.

Ohhhh I hate the face and the snide comments usually sniggered to groups of other parents at collection time by people who are old enough to know better but for whatever reason didn't evolve enough themselves to leave the playground pettyness behind

Where are all these alphamums and sneery faces. I live in a fairly affluent area where I would guess that there are alphamums but no one is like this. It's all a bit more live and let live.

My dd class is full of charming parents and their even more charmless prodigies. Collection usually amounts to a couple of hundred quid. What gets me is the total lack of grace and modesty amongst the mothers, and the fact that the majority are dumb enough to suck up to the yucky alphas.
I want to give a gift, no problem with that. But I refuse to be dictated to by a bunch of brain dead arse lickeing witches!

Alpha mums. Seriously you haven't got them at your school??
Maybe I should move where you are!!

Honestly Cockypants - I've only ever come across them on MN, and I've had dcs at a stand alone Nursery school, then ds went to one Primary for his infant years before we moved house, and then they all went through 2 sep Infant and Jnr schools. I think it's a pretty nice area, but I have never, ever, come across these 'Alphamums' or 'Competitive Parenting' or 'Playground Politics' or 'Cliques' that you hear of on MN.

alphamums and queenbees i thought every school had them?
because they dont work the schoolgates is their domain and they attempt to rule by email and text

Alphamums are everywhere, surely?

I work, so I am not one of the playground mums. I have therefore been excluded from social events and the only other people who talk to me are the other three working mums I know.

I don't actually care, but it is the source of amusement. Last Friday, on the only day in the week I get my girls from the playground rather than after school club, I was standing with my working-mum friend, when another mother came over and said to my working mum friend that her DD would love to go to the party she'd been invited to, and thank you very much for asking her. My friend had to point out that I was the one who had sent the invitation, and that she had a son, not a daughter.