To think MNers should make a stand and stop this competitive gift giving to primary teachers?

[LoopyLoopsCorgiPoops]

When did this nonsense begin? Is it really necessary? Just stop for crying out loud, they do get paid.

It will only get worse and worse unless people start to rein things in. AIBU to think we (MN) should change the trend?

in my ds school his teacher went on maternity leave a few months ago.... I was AGOG at the presents given to her by DS classmates before she finished.... outfits for the baby, nappy and baby bath combo-type gifts, pyjamas, dresing gown, slippers for her etc etc.

Cant decide if that is creepy, competitive or both or maybe a very genuine kind gesture...
My feeling is that it smacks of oneupmanship and says more about the parent than the kids .... What would others have done in this situation? We gave her a card and had vaguely thought about buying a small gift after the baby was born..

Look. Loads of people saying £5 or even £10 (cash) per child is acceptable. That's £150-£300! Is this Xmas as well as summer? Surely that should be declared?

Agree loopy.

The teachers should be bought goats.

I don't give anything unless there's reason to. (ie. the teacher is a good one, smiles occasionally and shows her face at the classroom door when the children are going home). In five years of my dc's current school, I've given gifts to two teachers. That's it. And I'm definitely not giving one this year, cos the teacher has not impressed understatement of the year

I get/make gifts for teachers, our gp, the drs receptionists, nurses, the man that drives ds and I to hydrotherapy, the school bus driver, ds's keyworker...etc etc.

I like giving, I like showing appreciation to the people who have helped make our lives easier and happier and I don't think it is anyones business really.

My children make gifts/cards etc. which is fine IMO.

I don't agree with the class collections.

Isn't there sometimes the sense that parents are "buying" additional attention? And, even if the child is moving class or changing teacher, that they want to be known as extra generous and grateful as a way of drawing attention to how "special" their child is? As for midwives, we were asked (by a notice, I think) to make a donation to the unit for them to spend on helping out needy mothers, rather than giving to individuals as "we are a team" or something.

I think gifts can be a safeguarding/boundary issue and the employer has a right to monitor the situation.

YANBU

I don't agree with it and I don't do it.

If my children told me they wanted to write a note or make a card, fair enough. But buying something is a step too far.

I'd say YABU because, in well over 20 years of teaching, and in 13 years of being a parents to 3 children at Nursery, sep infant and junior school + a house move, and therefore a different primary school, and 2 secondary schools, I've never come across "competitive present giving".
I don't have any recollection of who has given me a gift and who hasn't, except those one or two exceptional cases where it's been something they've made and is a bit special, and I certainly wouldn't have a clue which child had given a generous gift, a less generous gift, or no gift at all, to last year's class teacher - what a bizarre thought!

We do class collections....raising between £100-£200 depending on the teacher. At the Pre school we've collected £780!!!!!! Some of the families are loaded.

£780?

That is ridiculous IMO.

I give DD's teacher the same gift every year, the pleasure of teaching her

i think the formal line in our school/LA is that gifts should be £30 or less.

i still favour the card-only approach.

do stop the competitive gift giving. it would be awful if teachers came to expect gifts.

Well. I texted round to see if anyone in ds' class was up for a collection for the teacher and ta, and had lots of positive replies. I think sometimes its nice not to worry about finding something. Every collection I've been part of has involved the child writing a label for the joint card, and I like the ease of it. However, suggested max 5 is okay, anything more is silly.

£5 per child still represents a ridiculous amount of money for a gift imo.

I dont get the gift thing either.

A few words of appreciation in a card or even a simple letter is all thats needed if you feel the teacher has gone above and beyond.

The gift thing has lost its "nice" appeal because it all got too out of hand and tacky in recent years.

Texting around to ask other parents if they are up to make a small donation??? Really??

I wonder how many said yes because they felt they really could not say no.

As a teacher, I would be embarrassed to receive an expensive gift. As a secondary teacher, I rarely get presents anyway but the most meaningful recently was the VERY bright bunch of flowers the kids in the school play bought for me and presented on the last night of the show. There were 3 teachers and about 40 kids, and I think they all put 50p in. They organised the whole thing themselves and it was very touching. I used to teach in a much more middle class school, where the Head's secretary sorted flowers out for things like that- much bigger, and dare I say, much more tasteful bouquet, but no input from the kids and therefore not as meaningful. I also still have letters written to me by two students when I left my first school in 2000. They still make me smile.

Notactually, what did you buy the teacher with the contributions?

It's not just school teachers that get gifts.

My DD did the free week of swimming lessons in the Summer hols a couple of years ago. At the end of the week, about 90% of the kids who'd had the lessons brought in boxes of chocs etc for the Swimming instructor. For what amounted to 2.5 hours of tuition over the week.

None of the gifts I've ever had could be counted as expensive or competitive. My DSis does have a friend who arranges a £5 per head collection for the teacher of their child's class.

I dont participate in conspicuous giving,too arse lickey
I know it goes on though

queen yes, because if a collection might happen, as its not a new idea, I'd rather do that than try to find something else. Plus a fiver for two cards and two presents isn't terrible. In the past people have said no, I have said no etc. Its just an option.
One year I think theatre tokens? enorma another someone knew the teacher was nto gardening and got pots. I have never felt its somethiing I had to do.

Just give what you want to give-I have always wanted mine to take a present but it doesn't need to cost much. A home made card is the best present-(spoken as a teacher.)