To call immigration about my visitors?

[Migsy1]

I feel terrible about this and I don't know if I am being harsh or whether I should follow my instincts and get away from this situation.

I was involved in a school exchange in Spain a couple of years ago. I decided to go back there at the beginning of this month for a holiday with my 3 children. The holiday was arranged by me and a couple of days before I went I contacted a family that I had been paired with on my original visit to say that we were coming over and it might be nice to meet up sometime if they were going to be available.

The woman in the family, who is originally from South America, invited us over for lots of meals which I felt very uncomfortable about as I really wanted some space with my kids. It felt overbearing but I did not wish to offend and I realise that the Spanish culture if different to mine. I visited their home for dinner more than I wanted to to initially but at first I thought the woman was being altruistic and kind.
I told her that her son was welcome to visit us for a week in the summer to improve his English.

As the week progressed I found out that the family was having difficulty finding work and want to emigrate to the UK. The woman asked could she and her son could come over for a week at the end of this month to stay with me to see what the UK is like. I reluctantly agreed and she booked the flights before I could email her to put her off. She is due to arrive next week and has made it clear that she is bringing her CV and wants me to help her find work and possibly accommodation. She also wants to use my address to demonstrate to border control that she is only coming here to visit friends.

She has no entitlement to live or work in the UK. I feel that her hospitality in Spain was used to take advantage of me so that I could be a portal for her to enter the UK illegally. I am worried that she might try to stay longer in my home than the agreed week, especially if she cannot find accommodation. Her non-English speaking husband and his South American friend actually suggested that they live in my house and refurbish it in return whilst they look for building work in the UK!

Am I right to be freaked out by this? Do you think I should just call immigration and tell them of her true intentions so that they are not let into the country? I am worried that I am being dragged into something complicated, that as a single mum with 3 kids, I can well do without. I am seriously stressed by this!

Talk about xenophobic nonsense. It is none of your business of she is job hunting while she is visiting or shopping at Harrods. The stuff up thread about border control looking for CVs and number of bags is laughable. And the stuff about her leaving her son is so idiotic that it beggars belief.

You partook her hospitality and now you want to go back on your invitation. Fine, but that makes you the loony, unreliable, taker in the relationship, not her.

Wow! I'm amazed that as a single mum with 3 kids you even contemplated letting a family of 4 come and stay in your house....and alterations? Are you serious? They could leave it a building site.

I have Spanish family and NO WAY would I even consider them staying more than a weekend, they are lively and loud (and I love them) but I am exhausted at the end of it.
(Also single mum by the way).

No, the 2 men just made a suggestion. It is just the mother and son that are actually planning on coming. There is no way I would let the men do what they suggest! The mere suggestion made me suspicious of the intentions of the family as a whole.

OP - no need to report this woman. Just call her and say NO. No need to lie or rationalise your decision.

Your home. Your choice. Why do you care so much - you will never see her again.

It might be worth considering how far you'd go to give your child security if you were in dire straits before you dob this woman in?

Well I agree with you that the suggestion from the men would ring alarm bells for me too.

But I would've put a stop to the whole thing there and then though. I am not a free B&B, sorry.

No way would I have a religious nutter staying in my house anyway....

As a single mum you and your children are your first priority.

I have also had to learn by - some bitter - experience that as a kind and generous person you lend a hand and some people will take your arm. I have clear boundaries now about how far my hospitality will stretch.

Jesus Christ.
Are you listening, OP?

Just say No to this woman.

'It is definitely not just a holiday. She has told me she is looking for work. This is why I feel so put out because I feel she has manipulated me. She is not coming here to visit me at all. She is coming to visit me because I can help to enable her to carry out her plans to live in the UK'

Tell her that something has come up and that you will not be able to accomodate her.
Hells bells, this is exactly why the UK has gone to the dogs.
If she arrives in the UK, she and her family will be a drain on the taxpayer almost immediately - housing, benefits, NHS.
If by any chance she finds a job, she will be working illegally and taking a job away from a UK citizen.

Forget her nationality or what her intentions may or may not be, are you really going to let someone you have met once stay in your home from a week, while youre out at work?

Really OP?

She may be the lovliest, most honest trustworthy person that ever lived, but you wouldn't know that, as you've only met her once.

Sounds like you would come home from your night away to find your locks changed and them using your identity!!!!

What flatbread said

I thought there was a freedom to roam in EU so no probs with her coming here. IF she found work she might need a Work Visa but not sure that is the case. She would need to pay tax and NI so would need a number.

Isn't it only people from nonEU countries who need visas to enter UK?

This HMRC link might be the link she needs .

Unemployment in Spain is horrendous. I would let her come.

Lunatic, carrying your cv is not an offense. I have travelled over the world and have never seen any border control hunt for CVs. Drugs, yes. It is just laughable that you think they do this. And btw, they don't see how much checked in luggage you gave, as baggage retrieval is after immigration control.

The way I read it, OP sought out this woman in Spain. Happily accepted all the free meals. OP invited mum and son over. Now that she needs to return hospitality, she is uncomfortable.

The job hunting stuff is neither here nor there. If the woman finds a job, her employers will do all the paperwork required. That is really none of the OP's business.

YOung people are leaving Spain in droves, like they did/are doing in Ireland. There are no jobs. Poor woman is probably trying to do the best for her DS.

Only issue I see is that they might want to stay on longer than a week. So if OP comes up with a reason why they can't there shouldn't be a problem.

Let's hope there are no Daily Fail journalists reading this, or there'll be an article in there tomorrow warning of Spanish (& South American) immigrants flooding the UK.

I live (outside the EU admittedly) on a temp visa with work rights. I was under the impression that seeking employment on a vacation (where no visa is in place) is an offence? OP will be complicit if she knows that's what's going to happen. But then how could they even get work if they don't have a visa?

I have known a UK couple fly out to Australia for a job interview and to get a feel for the place before their visa was granted (it was being processed at the time of the flight). Immigration sent them straight home, purely because of the interview.

There are literally a thousand excuses you can give her as to why she cannot stay in your place (you are ill, your house is flooded, your insurance doesn't allow guests to stay unaccompanied etc etc). Don't be a martyr. You don't owe her anything just because she cooked you a few meals. If you feel so guilty, send her a cheque or a hamper of food and ingredients. If you really want to stop this mess, just say "no". She might be angry with you/upset, but that is life. She has made you feel uncomfortable and now you are protecting yourself. She is a grown up and will get over it. But do it before she comes so she can make alternative arrangements for accommodation. Good luck!

It is NOT laughable, the searching for CVs. Have you ever stood on line in the non-EU queue at the London airports? If they have any suspicion of you at all they will grill you mercilessly. They can detain you for hours at the airport and search your bags (yes they will get your checked luggage). I used to be on an American expat forum, quite a few people there got caught up in this. One girl was refused entry because there was a note in her diary that said 'call X about babysitting', she was just looking into setting something up if she could come over on a visa but they didn't believe she wouldn't do some babysitting on her visit.

If they aren't suspicious then yes, she will have no problems, but I don't think people realise how really hard-core UKBA can be at the airports for non-EU. I'm not being hysterical, I've just seen it firsthand.

If it were me, I'd be calling the UKBA for advice. You're not "telling tales" or "reporting" anyone. You have a potential issue and you need proper legal advice

Yes, I need to tell her "no".

There is slightly more background to my knowledge of her as her son has been involved in a school exchange trip before my holiday. I "sought her out" because my son had developed a friendship with her son and I had been paired with the family a couple of years ago (although we did not stay in their home). I thought it was a simple exchange of cultures but it has been turned into much more than that.

A few families from the UK who had been on the exchange have been back to holiday in the town she lives as it is a lovely place. I decided to do this also. It was perfectly ordinary to tell them we would be staying nearby. In fact, her son knew we were coming anyway without me telling her as he had been in the UK with his school only a week before. I deliberately only told her of my plans at the last minute because I wanted to be casual about it. It was as the week progressed that I realised all these odd things. I did make excuses not to come to her house for meals but she was very pushy. Looking back she used a lot of emotional tactics to draw me in.

I was happy to return the hospitality because I genuinely felt I owed her. However, it started to dawn on me what a complicated person she is and what her particular needs / motives are. I still feel bad about eating her food. I felt so bad about the whole scenario that on the last day of the holiday, instead of going to her house for lunch, I wanted to put some money in an envelope and do an early runner to the airport. I didn't do that because I didn't want to upset them. Clearly, looking back, I should have done.

Anyone who thinks that Border Control would not be interested in her intention to work, as a non EU member, is absolutely wrong.

I am going to put a stop to this. I am waiting for an email from her and my excuse will depend on her response.

Yes, I have been stupid and naive but what I thought was a simple exchange of cultures has developed into something more complicated which I do not wish to get drawn into.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with e-mailing her to say that as you now have a job interview and have to be away one night, you are not in a position to offer her accommodation. But that you would be happy to have her over for supper a couple of nights, or take her out one evening (if you have that sort of time free) so that you are repaying her hospitality.

I think anyone would be misguided to let strangers they've just met stay in their house alone.

Anyone who thinks that Border Control would not be interested in her intention to work, as a non EU member, is absolutely wrong

No, you are wrong. Working while on a tourist visa is illegal. But looking for a job is perfectly ok. Lots of people who visit also meet friends and acquaintences to network from a professional perspective. Like I said before, you are making excuses not to return the hospitality. No one forced you into accepting the meals, no matter how much you pretent otherwise.

The xenophobic hysteria is just an excuse to cover the fact that OP is behaving like a selfish git. And trying to make it into some kind of virtue by pretending that this is a matter of doing the right thing for her country