to move my child to another school because of PJ wearing parents and other things.....

[fiftieslover]

Hi there, your views would be appreciated.

My ds is currently in yr 3 (8 yrs old) he is in a mixed class of years 3 and 4. Since Christmas I have had really serious doubts about the school he is in.

He has asked to move schools a couple of times in the past 6 months and I am seriously considering it. BUT I know at 8 this is a massive change for him. He is a social little boy who makes friends easily and can articulate his thoughts really well. The issues I have with the school are as follows.

1. Parents dropping their children off still wearing their PJs. I not talking lounge wear here, I'm talking fullish sheep adorned pink things. I turn up at school dressed for work, smart and ready for the day.

1. Leading on from 1 is the reason for the PJ wearing. There is a very high number of unemployed parents in the school. I live in a nice part of not a very nice area IYKWIM. Unemployment has always been a problem. I have lived in this area for over 30 years and alot of the children in ds class are 4th and 5th generation unemployed. So I assume the pj wearing is because they have nothing to get ready for? I need to add that sometimes the children are picked up from school at 3pm with said parents still adorning the sheep attire.

I have never been unemployed so struggle to empathise really with the other parents. I work in recruitment and know there are always things you can do to improve your chances but I have never been there so know I dont fully understand the effect unemployment has on you.

1. There are ALOT of kids in the class that are morphing into absolute horrors. The behaviour is getting worse as each school year passes. Once lovely little 4 year olds are now 8 year old swearing, disrespectful kids. My ds went over to one of them the other day to show him his homework. The other kid looked at my ds as if he were stupid and said I dont do homework - I wouldnt dare!.

1. I'm aware this is getting long so going to cut it short. The teachers appear to spend alot of time on discipline - taking actual teaching time away from the good kids.

1. In the past out of 26 kids, there are approximately 8 that behave really well. If the other 18 are playing up, the whole class has been punished. This really annoyed me.

I could go on and I think I have answered my own question seeing it in black and white but would still appreciate your comments.

Thanks fifties x

If the school doesn't meet your needs then move him. But don't expect there to be a 'magic' school out there where everything is perfect, because that truly doesn't exist. We've recently moved to a tiny village/school and it has its own problems - they are different from the problems our inner-city school had, but they are problems none the less.

would agree that the head needs to tighten up standards (that sounds posh but it does work) a good head can turn around failing schools to schools children and parents are proud of.

Sallyinforth beat me too it but I'll say it anyway.

3,4 and 5 fair enough, essentially the same point.

1 and 2 is books and covers territory.

I went through school with unemployed parents, because they went back to uni to get better quals. and got better jobs.

I don't like being rude but you sound very snobby are you sure none of those 'bad' kids have employed parents??

I quite fancy a pair of pink sheep PJ's. Next time you do the school run can you ask her where she got them from?

Your Son isn't happy, neither are you = move him to another school. Why ask people on here?

Not read whole thread but did see your comment op about swearing parent in the playground after school. Our Head would see that as something to crack down on and have seen her really have a go at parents she has heard swearing in the playground eg; threatening to ban them from the playground.
Your Head from that post sounds wishy washy.

Fifties, I think you are misunderstanding and thinking I'm being snarky to you.

I completley agree that if the discipline and behaviour is unacceptable, you should look into different options.
I wanted to know if you knew what the school, parental involvement etc was before you went there.

But the tone of your op was that you don't understand people who don't work, making a point of stating you are from a nicer part of town, etc was the tone of a person who feels that she is superior.
You may feel like that, that's fine.
But if the problems you have are with the behaviour of the parents, and you live in an area where this is the norm, you may find a school where the behaviour of the DCs is acceptable, the teaching and discipline good, but you are still facing parents who are unemployed and wear pjs on the school run.

It seemed from your op that this is a big issue for you, again understandable, if you think this is wrong, that's your opinion.

But the pjs and unemployment may be something you have to put up with even at a better school. (well maybe not the pjs, possibly the unemployment though)

There's very little excuse for wearing PJs in public and I don't care if that makes me a snob.

Do what is best for your son, I would move him, especially as HE had asked!

I'm amazed at those saying PJ's are irrelevant. No they're not. They are symptomatic of a lazy, cba attitude.

And from what the OP has described many of the parents have no self respect let alone respect for anyone else. That's not snobby it's fact.

I wouldn't be waiting for my child to request the move, they're feet wouldn't have touched the ground.

I don't feel like I fit in where I live, scrap that I don't fit in where I live, it isn't very nice and I can't help that I was bought up differently. I hate the fact that I have to bring dd up around here.

It doesn't make me superior - it's just a fact, and I can't help that I don't like it.

There is excuse for wearing PJs. When my ex moved out not long after my little one had a major operation I fell apart and there was a window of about a week where I was always late in getting the children to school and mostly ended up taking them in my PJs. I was out of control from the knock, but got my act together not long after.

I would move my dcs from this situation. The peer group will become increasingly important and I would want my dc to have peers who valued education and had aspirations.

You are fully entitled to be snobby. If you don't like the other parents, MOVE.

yes tryingto - the saying "if you lie with dogs you get fleas" describes peer pressure which is very potent.

qo there's nothing wrong with feeling as though you are better than the area you live in but at the end of the day you are obviously living there due to circumstances and tbh walking around thinking everyone is beneath you is shutting off any oppourtunity to meet new people, there might be some decent people where you live.

Ok 90% of them might not be, but it's a bit close minded to ignore everyone and be so vocal about how you are better than them.

Why the FUCK should she offer training to the others?
Mumsnet Is mad :)

Indeed Anna.

I have rwice picked the DC's up from school in my pj's. I work nights and over slept. I did cover them with a long coat.

*Twice

Yanbu, but if your going to move him do it now. Personally I would move my child. Parents are one of your biggest role models so wearing pj's to school in my opinion in not a great start for them.

I worked in a school where a high number of children's behaviour was challenging and the amount of time spent dealing with this behaviour was a substantial amount of time and other children in the group lost out on a good education

Tantrums I don't walk around thinking everyone is beneath me, quite the opposite - I feel terribly self-concious as I'm considered "posh" and looked down on for that (even though I'm a long long way from posh) plus I do have some friends in my area, but they are in the minority as far as societal behaviours go around here - I'm not being snobby it is a FACT!!

I live in a horrible place I'm afraid, although some on this thread seem to think horrible places don't exsist for some reason? Not wanting to bring dd up in a horrible place isn't snobby is it?

Nessa shameful!

Thankfully my DP is selling up in Chelsea. Common people like me don't belong there

Your son wants to move, there are issues about discipline and the attitude of some of the children. I think you know the answer.

I wouldn't necessarily assume that what happens in the classroom reflects what you see in the playground so maybe you should talk to the teacher about your concerns, if you want any more input before you decide.

The PJ thing is odd.