to move my child to another school because of PJ wearing parents and other things.....

[fiftieslover]

Hi there, your views would be appreciated.

My ds is currently in yr 3 (8 yrs old) he is in a mixed class of years 3 and 4. Since Christmas I have had really serious doubts about the school he is in.

He has asked to move schools a couple of times in the past 6 months and I am seriously considering it. BUT I know at 8 this is a massive change for him. He is a social little boy who makes friends easily and can articulate his thoughts really well. The issues I have with the school are as follows.

1. Parents dropping their children off still wearing their PJs. I not talking lounge wear here, I'm talking fullish sheep adorned pink things. I turn up at school dressed for work, smart and ready for the day.

1. Leading on from 1 is the reason for the PJ wearing. There is a very high number of unemployed parents in the school. I live in a nice part of not a very nice area IYKWIM. Unemployment has always been a problem. I have lived in this area for over 30 years and alot of the children in ds class are 4th and 5th generation unemployed. So I assume the pj wearing is because they have nothing to get ready for? I need to add that sometimes the children are picked up from school at 3pm with said parents still adorning the sheep attire.

I have never been unemployed so struggle to empathise really with the other parents. I work in recruitment and know there are always things you can do to improve your chances but I have never been there so know I dont fully understand the effect unemployment has on you.

1. There are ALOT of kids in the class that are morphing into absolute horrors. The behaviour is getting worse as each school year passes. Once lovely little 4 year olds are now 8 year old swearing, disrespectful kids. My ds went over to one of them the other day to show him his homework. The other kid looked at my ds as if he were stupid and said I dont do homework - I wouldnt dare!.

1. I'm aware this is getting long so going to cut it short. The teachers appear to spend alot of time on discipline - taking actual teaching time away from the good kids.

1. In the past out of 26 kids, there are approximately 8 that behave really well. If the other 18 are playing up, the whole class has been punished. This really annoyed me.

I could go on and I think I have answered my own question seeing it in black and white but would still appreciate your comments.

Thanks fifties x

YANBU - Obviously you are not happy with the school, and neither is he... it's simple really, just find another one.

Of course YANBU, and you Rent being a snob at all about the PJ wearing. Doing that is an indication if an attitude behind it, and it's not an attitude that I would want my children being surrounded by.

You have answered your own question, and your ds has has too. Move him. Start making the arrangements now so that he can start his new school in September.

You are being a snob. But so would I be in your situation. Why don't you just move him if you and he are unhappy? Why all the hand wringing? Moving primary school is not a big deal - mine did and settled immediately.

Yep I am afraid it is in the North - well North-West to be exact - is there s problem with that?

YANBU..........and you are not being 'snobby' either. Goodness me if it is considered snobby because you have a problem with people wearing pjs all day then Gawd help us.

Do the best thing for your son OP. Good luc, I hope he settles in well.

emsyj Um, PooPoo, the OP is filled to the gills with ALOT and it makes my teeth itch.

And? Pointing out other peoples spelling or grammar mistakes always makes posters look pathetic.

I don't have a problem with the North , no

luck

1. PJS wouldn't bother me
2. Wide spread long term unemployment would bother me
3. Really hard to say, but if you think your DS can't find a solid group of kids to be friends with who have long-term aspirations & mostly decent behaviour, I understand moving him
4. Discipline takes a lot of time in most schools, I reckon.
5. See 3)

Why did school seem okay in past? I would talk to parents with y6 & y7 kids, what was their experience of the school, have their kids become aspirational or rough thugs?

That's fine then!

The reality is that we live in an town with high levels of deprivation, higher than the national average levels of unemployment and lower than average grades at GCSE (plus all the asocaited problems that come with these facts);choosing the best school you can does not make you a snob.

Judging people for PJ wearing - maybe! You need to walk a day in their shoes to truly understand.

I doubt very much that they all wear PJs every day.

and you should all note that those of us with experience of this type of place do NOT think OP is BU

Well I have experience of 'this type of place' (a school with 'common' unemployed sorts) and I DO think OP is being unreasonable.

Due to moVing around the country I've had experience of several schOols 1.you get behavior problems anywhere 2.the ones in the 'better' areas were worse behaviorwise. Lots of 'my child would never do that sort of thing.

OP your son may well be happier elsewhere but don't expect all the problems to magically vanish just because you escape the serfs.

ps: check rules where you live; where I am the window for transfer with September 2012 start passed 3 weeks ago, so impossible to move before January 2013 now.

"Pointing out other peoples spelling or grammar mistakes always makes posters look pathetic."

Not when they link to something so inspired! I now have an imaginary pet alot and it's made my morning.

Thanks emsyj! :)

Op. I have wondered similar. Mostly because at my children's school there are a lot of kids whose families are known to the police, whose families don't work, who are involved with drugs and crime, whose families have massive fights outside their houses with baseball bats. I worry about the influence. Not working is an issue because i worry about my children being heavily influenced by their friends families and the idea that working or going on to college is a waste of time, so they should just collect benefits and do drugs and shag.

I grew up around these things i mentioned and i did go on to further education and i didn't get involved with drugs, but, most people i went to school with did. They did exactly what i mentioned above.

Its all very well others saying its snobbery but when you have been through it yourself and seen the very direct influence it has on children you won't want the same for your own.

You can try all you like to teach your own children different ideals and morals but they are very heavily influenced by peers.

Id bet my arse that those saying its snobbery have never experienced it and are never likely to have to send their kids to a school like that.

We live down south and it sounds exactly like the first school ds1 attended. I changed schools after he had attended the nursery there and it was the best decision i made. Its not a north south thing more that there is a problem with our welfare state and society. So imo YANBU

If your son has asked to move, I would move him.

Parents coming to school in PJ's would annoy me, so judge me.

Why post here except to rant and spray? Move already. I'd have left long before year 3. And plenty, plenty of children that age have to move schools.

Mine have to all move due to my daughter's cancer treatment. Such is life. They'll survive.

Mumzy. Where about was that?

get the h%ll out OP!

...or you could stay, an evangelise on MN about how wonderful and important it is your DC mix with a "good mix" of people, and will not grow up snobs, and that that is what education is all about. And enjoy the moral high ground.

I work in recruitment and know there are always things you can do to improve your chances but I have never been there so know I dont fully understand the effect unemployment has on you.

Wow - judge much?

Thanks again.

Yes I have spoken to some of the other parents of older children and also spoken to the teacher about the behaviour in the class.

The teacher acknowledged that some of the behaviour is really challenging but stressed that the school would never give up on the most difficult children and will continue to support them. I admire this approach but I need to do what's best for ds.

One of the staff told me ds doesn't get involved in the bad behaviour and keeps himself to himself at break (I heard this as he plays on his own to keep out of trouble). I just want the best for him.

I don't (didn't) think I was a snob but maybe I am

I know my spelling is terrible - this wasn't my question. The town I live in also has nothing to do with anything.

All of this would bother me. I would move him and not look back.

I have my own business, employ 25 staff and work fom home. My kids get school buses as we live in the country. I work better in pj's and always find myself explaining to the postman that I have been up since 6.30am and haven't been interrupted watching Jeremy Kyle.....don't judge us pj wearers!

Seriously, if you and our son are unhappy, move him. You know him best.

Move him, for all the good reasons you say in the OP. Last week about 3pm there's a woman walking down our 'village' high street in pjs and slippers. I DID get all judgey,and was rather proud of that fact. There are standards....