to move my child to another school because of PJ wearing parents and other things.....

[fiftieslover]

Hi there, your views would be appreciated.

My ds is currently in yr 3 (8 yrs old) he is in a mixed class of years 3 and 4. Since Christmas I have had really serious doubts about the school he is in.

He has asked to move schools a couple of times in the past 6 months and I am seriously considering it. BUT I know at 8 this is a massive change for him. He is a social little boy who makes friends easily and can articulate his thoughts really well. The issues I have with the school are as follows.

1. Parents dropping their children off still wearing their PJs. I not talking lounge wear here, I'm talking fullish sheep adorned pink things. I turn up at school dressed for work, smart and ready for the day.

1. Leading on from 1 is the reason for the PJ wearing. There is a very high number of unemployed parents in the school. I live in a nice part of not a very nice area IYKWIM. Unemployment has always been a problem. I have lived in this area for over 30 years and alot of the children in ds class are 4th and 5th generation unemployed. So I assume the pj wearing is because they have nothing to get ready for? I need to add that sometimes the children are picked up from school at 3pm with said parents still adorning the sheep attire.

I have never been unemployed so struggle to empathise really with the other parents. I work in recruitment and know there are always things you can do to improve your chances but I have never been there so know I dont fully understand the effect unemployment has on you.

1. There are ALOT of kids in the class that are morphing into absolute horrors. The behaviour is getting worse as each school year passes. Once lovely little 4 year olds are now 8 year old swearing, disrespectful kids. My ds went over to one of them the other day to show him his homework. The other kid looked at my ds as if he were stupid and said I dont do homework - I wouldnt dare!.

1. I'm aware this is getting long so going to cut it short. The teachers appear to spend alot of time on discipline - taking actual teaching time away from the good kids.

1. In the past out of 26 kids, there are approximately 8 that behave really well. If the other 18 are playing up, the whole class has been punished. This really annoyed me.

I could go on and I think I have answered my own question seeing it in black and white but would still appreciate your comments.

Thanks fifties x

No qo it's not wrong at all.

We bought up dc1&2 in a horrible north London council estate for 5 years.
It was horrible.
We hated it and couldn't wait to move.

Good for you wanting better.

But I met my best friend from that same estate who is the loveliest person I've ever known. I didn't want to "associate" with "those people" my own words by the way, I'm not saying that's what you think. But I realises it would take a few years to get back on our feet and tried not to think I was better than other people. That's all.

I'm amazed at those saying PJ's are irrelevant. No they're not. They are symptomatic of a lazy, cba attitude.

That.

Why the FUCK should she offer training to the others?
Mumsnet Is mad

And that. Seriously

Can't get past no. 1 without thinking "god whoever wrote this sounds like a right twat" which I'm sure you're not.

For me no1 would be the winning argument.

Ah, just seen that you work in recruitment. Explains alot

Can't get past no. 1 without thinking "god whoever wrote this sounds like a right twat" which I'm sure you're not.

I can't get past it without thinking well that's honest. And highly accurate.

It's a major generalisation, if anything.

Not long ago you even saw people in onsies in the posh areas. There is a lot of snobbery about.

I would move him sooner rather than later,I,m living with regrets that I should have moved my ds,

yanbu, your son is obviously not happy there and can't be accepted by kids he has nothing in common with unless he becomes more like them and that's the last thing you want.

These kids are doomed by parents who are too lazy to dress themselves, let alone work or take care of their kids. You don't want your son exposed to an inferior set of values that hold education, work, discipline and self respect in contempt, you don't want him thinking those values are normal.

It is not snobby to not want your son becoming a non functioning member of the pyjama wearing underclass where his greatest success will be as a guest on Jeremy Kyle.

Damsel what "posh areas"?? I don't apologise for judging someone who thinks it's ok not to wash and change in the morning....and yes...they MIGHT have asower and then put on fresh pyjamas...but WHY??? To what end? WHat are they tryng to SAY by wearing pyjamas instead of some other affordable, soft and comfy clothing?

*It's a major generalisation, if anything.

Not long ago you even saw people in onsies in the posh areas. There is a lot of snobbery about.*

It's a generalisation that a grown parent cba to dress themselves yes. And rightfully so.

Chelsea.

Sparks1 I posted a little further up about a bad situation I was in when I lost control. It wasn't a matter of CBA. But you lot only see that and judge that way. So it is a generalisation.

OP - do you live in my area :o

it sounds exactly the same. i wish we could afford to move away, my dc are only 3 and 6 and i fear for how things will be when they are a bit bigger :(

on the plus side though, dc school just got a "good" ofsted rating....as opposed to the special measures it was in a couple of years back

and, YANBU, btw

Blimey who made you judge and jury?

I fail to see what is snobby about thinking that running around in PJ's all day is lazy.

When I was on dialysis I often wore PJs and had no choice at times if I was to get ds to school on time. Thank god I live where no one judges and we have lots of friends and no one had to move school to get away from me

Sorry damsel but do you really think that all parents who drop off/pick up at school in pyjamas are doing so because of some medical problem or other problem out of their control?

Is it so taboo to speak about areas where the majority are not very nice people who don't contribute to society? My children have seen so many fights, (one particularly memorbale time right outside my house with baseball bats and metal bars) that they have become immue to it, where if you don't drink/fight/take drugs you are seen as posh and ridiculed, where children are running wild & undisciplined and all this is seen as the norm.

I'm well aware that this does not apply to every single person living on my estate, but it is the majority - that's what makes it a horrible place to live.

Not wanting to live in a place like this does not make a person snobby or a twat.

Oh noddy please!! we all know what type of person the OP was talking about, and it wasn't people with medical conditions.

People really don't believe it goes on do they?

I don't give a flying fuck if anyone else thinks I am being a snob when it comes to doing things which will give my children the best advantage I can in life.

I truly do not look down my nose or make assumptions about people. If anything, I feel pity for people who don't seem to have a handle on their lives. However, I do not see myself as superior. I understand how easy it is to fall in life for a range of reasons.

There is a lot of snobbery around here and you really cannot ignore it.

Nothing wrong with wanting to better yourself, but this sneering at people is a bit much, imo.

You want your son to do the best he can and be happy. You may have worded bits in a way that would set off a bomb but of course YANBU. There are many places in the UK I would not want me or my DC's to live or go to school but that does not make me a snob. It just means I am not stupid and want the best I can give to my family. Sometimes mumsnet really gets on my tits.

It's quite easy to be 5th Generation unemployed if you have your DC's quite young. If you take 18yo (and that might be a generous estimate), the youngest generation would be 8yo, the oldest 80.

DC in Y3, 8yo. DC's mother, 26yo. DC's Grandmother 44yo. DC's Great Grandmother 62yo, DC's Great Great Grandmother 80yo.

I'm not against young parents, or Single Parents, or unemployed parents, (I fit all 3 categories right now!) but PJ's on the school run?! FFS have some pride! I struggle to believe, in all seriousness, that people do the morning AND afternoon school runs in their PJ's.

That's NOT normal, even if you are unemployed. To me it smacks of MH issues or severe depression, because anybody with an iota of personal pride would not do this.

So IMO the parents that are doing the school run in their PJ's have far deeper issues than just being unemployed.

I had my DD at 16yo, my Mum had me at 18yo, my Nan had my Mum at 20yo. My Nan still works, my Mum DID work until it was apparent that my Dbro needed far more care due to his Aspergers, so while she has been economically inactive as a carer, my Stepdad works very hard in a reasonably paid job.

I am currently unemployed, but will be looking for work in 18 months time.

I can't get my head around it, and in the circumstances described (the majority of DC being badly behaved in class, swearing not clamped down on in school, PJ's on the school run), I WOULD change my DC's school!

Op isn't sneering and neither am I, I just don't want this kind of life for myself or my children - why is that wrong?

Unfortunately for me circumstances dictate that we have to stay here at least for a good few years, if the OP can move, even if it is only school - then why shouldn't she? and why is that seen as snobby, or sneering? I really don't understand.