to move my child to another school because of PJ wearing parents and other things.....

[fiftieslover]

Hi there, your views would be appreciated.

My ds is currently in yr 3 (8 yrs old) he is in a mixed class of years 3 and 4. Since Christmas I have had really serious doubts about the school he is in.

He has asked to move schools a couple of times in the past 6 months and I am seriously considering it. BUT I know at 8 this is a massive change for him. He is a social little boy who makes friends easily and can articulate his thoughts really well. The issues I have with the school are as follows.

1. Parents dropping their children off still wearing their PJs. I not talking lounge wear here, I'm talking fullish sheep adorned pink things. I turn up at school dressed for work, smart and ready for the day.

1. Leading on from 1 is the reason for the PJ wearing. There is a very high number of unemployed parents in the school. I live in a nice part of not a very nice area IYKWIM. Unemployment has always been a problem. I have lived in this area for over 30 years and alot of the children in ds class are 4th and 5th generation unemployed. So I assume the pj wearing is because they have nothing to get ready for? I need to add that sometimes the children are picked up from school at 3pm with said parents still adorning the sheep attire.

I have never been unemployed so struggle to empathise really with the other parents. I work in recruitment and know there are always things you can do to improve your chances but I have never been there so know I dont fully understand the effect unemployment has on you.

1. There are ALOT of kids in the class that are morphing into absolute horrors. The behaviour is getting worse as each school year passes. Once lovely little 4 year olds are now 8 year old swearing, disrespectful kids. My ds went over to one of them the other day to show him his homework. The other kid looked at my ds as if he were stupid and said I dont do homework - I wouldnt dare!.

1. I'm aware this is getting long so going to cut it short. The teachers appear to spend alot of time on discipline - taking actual teaching time away from the good kids.

1. In the past out of 26 kids, there are approximately 8 that behave really well. If the other 18 are playing up, the whole class has been punished. This really annoyed me.

I could go on and I think I have answered my own question seeing it in black and white but would still appreciate your comments.

Thanks fifties x

I'm quite happy where I am in my little council estate.

I hate the assumption that all WC people aspire to be MC.

Amber I think that probably was better than people living for years at a time on benefits because it showed that people had pride. They did not want to live on handouts. The vast majority did that kind of work very short term because it was a powerful incentive to find BETTER work.

But I agree that society has changed as have the kind of 'unskilled' jobs available. That's why society need to be honest about the problems people are facing. Letting people live on benefits for decades is not the solution - I know from working with families in this situation, especially the kids. They grow up with no concept of getting up in the morning and going to work. I don't understand why people insist on burying their heads in the sand about this. It doesn't make the problem go away.

And that all people that live in social housing should better themselves

I don't think people should aspire to be anything other than self-supporting members of society, unless they wish to to. That way we can channel resources towards the people who genuinely can't work or support themselves.

That really gets on my nerves usual that working class people are just waiting for that opportunity to go up the ladder

Another one who worked with people like this , well tbh if someone with an attitude like yours is working with disadvantaged families they don't stand a bloody chance do they

Yes usual I did. I'll tell you why I don't anymore - because it was so difficult to make a difference for people. Here's why:

1. There is a finite amount of money in the pot for an ever growing number of people needing it.
2. The people who shouted the loudest and demanded the most were often those who COULD support themselves and their families. They did not have any disadvantages beyond a shitty, entitled attitude - which in their defence quite often came from growing up in a household where their parents had a shitty entitled attitude.
3. The people who were most vulnerable and in need were often brushed to one side because resources were being targetted at the wrong people.
4. Many of the most disadvantaged and dysfunctional families were almost past helping because they couldn't see anything wrong with their situation. They didn't see anything wrong with living on benefits, their children being taken into care or truanting school. This all seemed perfectly normal to them.

This is tough for people to take on board but I promise you this was my front line experience. Implying that people are snobs for not agreeing to continue supporting this kind of system is madness and doesn't help the people who genuinely need it.

But I confess I have joined in the general digression from the original topic of the thread - seems to be a MN hazard.

going back to OP I'd consider moving ds because sounds like there's no discipline in class which in my experience is seriously damaging to his education - and obviously to the education of all of the kids in the class. However I'm assuming you just don't happen to have got a teacher this year who cannot control the class - I'm assuming it's always like this.

I dont' know about the whole pajama wearing thing tbh - one parent at ds school does this and she's definitely the least supportive in terms of attendance at school events etc but on other hand her son is a lovely, well mannered, high achieving kid so who knows. I think yabu to assume wearing pajamas means anything other than wearing pajamas.

I think it depends also on your sons friends - if his friends all have parents with no interest in school etc, no ambitions for them well then yes I think I'd consider moving but you know what =- I bet most people pajama wearing or not want their kids to do well....

I found it really sad that your DS's teacher said he keeps to himself and is alone at break time. That and the fact that he wants to move would make it urgent for me to move him to another school. PJs are a red herring; there are red flags re your son's well being in amongst all the other info.

Where has the AIBU to move schools due to Boden-wearing Mummies? thread gone(?) Gawd that was funny.

i cannot imagine anyone anywhere showing up to school in pj's. maybe if i tried it i'd have less frown lines?

Picking your kids up in pink, sheep adorned PJ's ?!

Well, I'm shocked, I always pick my kids up from school in tasteful pyjamas - classic navy blue checked ones.

YANBU. Get your DC away from the PJ-parents.

RillaBlythe : 5th generation unemployed? So nobody has
worked since, what, the 1890s?
Why would that be the 1890s? Given that in certain circles people have children at the age of 14 so 5 generations is 70 years?

amistillsexy: Since you work in recruitment, and you know what
people can do to improve their chances, why don't you offer to
run some 'back to work' training at the school for those parents
Because she is not a charity?

well said alliez

cheesesarnie Let's try sooth that brow for you shall we love

Imagine a mum who has life has taken just too many knocks that she has lost control, just can't cope, through no fault of her own. The odds have been against her and she's slumped into depression.

Does that help you any?

Have skimmed this thread but overall I wouldn't be impressed with parents turning up in PJs and indeed returning to cllect their children in PJs, I am a SAHM / foster carer not a high flying city person - used to be though and was at work in my suit at 8am!

I used to be a teacher in a state school, if you are an 'able' teacher then you should be competent to teach and discipline - we has a sweep policy so if a child was disrupting a class you could ask for them to go to another classroom for more of a 1 on 1 time.

My boys are at a local independent school and still when one child misbehaves the whole group is disciplined, which I think is unfair and have voiced this to the head of Junior school, it is a battle to get the perfect school for your child -not sure if it exists!

Good luck!

I doubt theres many 70 year olds that have never worked in their lives.

Or 50 or 60 year olds tbh

damsel no need to be such a twat!
i meant- i personally have never seen any one at the school gates wearing pj's. i did not say that i would judge so hop down off of your high horse 'love'.

the frown lines comment was ment in that maybe if i stayed in my pj's i would save myself time in the morning and not run round like a maniac.

does this help?

forgot to add- ofcourse depression=pj's.
fuck mental health nursing, i'm obviously doing it all wrong!

No it doesn't help because if I called you what I would like to I know it would be deleted But you are one all the same.

what do you mean 'you are all the same' sorry but untill you explain how i have offended you (as it seems i have) then i cannot decide whether i am fairly one of them or not.

explain what i have done?
i explained my post for you as it seems that you have taken it the wrong way.

oh i am one sorry! misread -oooh i apologised for misunderstanding get me.

Children are disciplined in groups because the idea is that in "unstructured time" children themselves will sort out the one on whose account they were all punished to make sure s/he gets the message. "Sorting out" may be "we are not playing with you" or a mighty hiding in the boys' toilet depending on age and the severity of the group punishment. It works - or rather used to.