to move my child to another school because of PJ wearing parents and other things.....

[fiftieslover]

Hi there, your views would be appreciated.

My ds is currently in yr 3 (8 yrs old) he is in a mixed class of years 3 and 4. Since Christmas I have had really serious doubts about the school he is in.

He has asked to move schools a couple of times in the past 6 months and I am seriously considering it. BUT I know at 8 this is a massive change for him. He is a social little boy who makes friends easily and can articulate his thoughts really well. The issues I have with the school are as follows.

1. Parents dropping their children off still wearing their PJs. I not talking lounge wear here, I'm talking fullish sheep adorned pink things. I turn up at school dressed for work, smart and ready for the day.

1. Leading on from 1 is the reason for the PJ wearing. There is a very high number of unemployed parents in the school. I live in a nice part of not a very nice area IYKWIM. Unemployment has always been a problem. I have lived in this area for over 30 years and alot of the children in ds class are 4th and 5th generation unemployed. So I assume the pj wearing is because they have nothing to get ready for? I need to add that sometimes the children are picked up from school at 3pm with said parents still adorning the sheep attire.

I have never been unemployed so struggle to empathise really with the other parents. I work in recruitment and know there are always things you can do to improve your chances but I have never been there so know I dont fully understand the effect unemployment has on you.

1. There are ALOT of kids in the class that are morphing into absolute horrors. The behaviour is getting worse as each school year passes. Once lovely little 4 year olds are now 8 year old swearing, disrespectful kids. My ds went over to one of them the other day to show him his homework. The other kid looked at my ds as if he were stupid and said I dont do homework - I wouldnt dare!.

1. I'm aware this is getting long so going to cut it short. The teachers appear to spend alot of time on discipline - taking actual teaching time away from the good kids.

1. In the past out of 26 kids, there are approximately 8 that behave really well. If the other 18 are playing up, the whole class has been punished. This really annoyed me.

I could go on and I think I have answered my own question seeing it in black and white but would still appreciate your comments.

Thanks fifties x

It happens. I went to a council estate school and got three excellent a levels and a degree, my dp went to a school in one of the most affluent areas of a city and came away with a heroin problem. Peer pressure exists in all schools.

Of course I would not relish a child of mine being brought up in the conditions you describe, but they are not typical to all council estates.

amberleaf you were lucky, not everyone has parents like yours

I know and not everyone who lives on a council estate has parents like yours!

Shit parents are not exclusive to council estates you know, go and read the stately homes threads.

I am trying to distance my kids from what poopoo has described.

Its not snobbery, its self defence.

Poo, I'm not saying there is anything wrong with wanting better than you had by the way, and your experiences are not good.

amberleaf so are yours the norm then ?

That's fine recall but you have been saying all sorts of stuff on here which is inflammatory.

I have no problem whatsoever with people saying they want to have a different school life upbringing than they had. But you have said lots of quite horrible snobby stuff on here.

I can understand you wanting better for your own children recall, but you can do that without generalising about a huge group of people based on your somewhat limited experiences.

You have also said you can see that's not great but think you are influenced by your experiences, so that's good you see that as really not all council estates and schools are what you or poo poo have experienced. Thankfully.

You are judging everyone because had a shit time. Not everyone from a council estate is like that but if you don't want your children mixing with the likes of us then maybe you are doing us a favour as I wouldn't want me child mixing with small minded people like you.

Poopoo there is a fair bit of reverse romanticism going on here too. All this talk of slaughtered rabbits and youths lying about in alleyways. All I can see out of my window is a quiet green and neat little house. The kids will be out later playing football and if thy get noisy someone will tell them to keep it down. No one will get shanked.

I am just saying it the way it was and the way it still is. You are lucky that where you live is not like that. There are variations naturally so not everywhere will be lovely and not everywhere will be rough.

Ooo this thread sounds lovely.

Makes me sad how small minded some people can be

amberleaf so are yours the norm then

My what? Parents?

Based on my experience of where I grew up I'd say while others were different in lots of ways to my parents (they were a real mixed bunch background wise) they shared common ground of being generally hard working and wanting the best for their families.

In my wider circle (wider area and schoolmates) yes there were some that weren't such great parents, not on our estate though and they were certainly in the minority.

I'm not calling you a liar but you have focused on negatives in the same way that I have pointed out the positives.

A lot goes on behind closed doors but that is true anywhere.

The fact remains that living on a council estate, coming from one, does Not make you trash
It is not the worse thing in the world.

I would hate to live I one of those pretty little villages where yo are not allowed to paint your front door purple and the Queen Mummies rule the school gates.
Some people aspire to it, I wouldn't stop my kids mixing with them because of it.

Far from the worse thing DeVere

I wouldn't give my council house up for anything!

Everybody has always got a smile for you when you pass. And all the kids play together outside after school in our cul-de-sac. DP almost always forgets to lock the car at night. I've never felt as happy as I am here.

The fact remains that living on a council estate, coming from one, does Not make you trash It is not the worse thing in the world.

I never said it did or was. How could i when i come from there and my family are there.

But i can understand the op wanting to move her child to another school if the things i have experienced are the sort of things which concern her.

This thread is a bit of a politically correct exercise in some places.

You just lost me with politically correct.
It's a meaningless phrase designed purely to shut people up who do not see things a certain way.

This thread is a bit of a politically correct exercise in some places

No it isn't.

I don't need to be 'politically correct' I don't say the 'PC' thing.

I'm challenging ridiculous generalisations that's all.

If not thinking that people who live in social housing are 'trash' then I'm quite happy to be called politically correct.

I grew up on council estates and loved it, we had a whale of a time. My whole town was practically one big housing estate with very little private housing. Most people I knew worked and the kids were well behaved. Some areas were always considered naicer than others. Even folk on council estates looked down on some other estates. Many of the houses are privately owned now so a mix of council and private, some areas are very nice and others not so. Most folk who were able did leave for the private estates that sprung up though when they could. This unbalanced the mix of good and bad that used to be there. I still have family and friends on council estates and they are not all horrible places with horrible people. But most folk when financially able do leave if they can. I thnk council estates have changed from say the 70's and 80's but you can't just generalise about all estates and all people on them unless you really have no idea or are just deliberately trying to get a rise.

Totally agree Hownoo. I do find it strange that this issue polarises people so much on MN - either demonising all unemployed and / or people who live in estates OR turning them into some kind of lovable Robin Hood characters.

I grew up in a council estate and loved it - but my family had aspirations and we moved when I was early teens. Most of the families in our street worked or were retired.

Fast forward twenty years until I bought my first house (ex council house). I was one of only two people in my street who got up in the morning to go to work. Read that again - two people. Obviously some people were retired, the rest were on benefits. They had no disabilities, had active social lives, some did a bit of cash in hand odd jobbing but most of them didn't bother.

Council estates are NOT all the same - but nor are they the same as they were twenty years ago. People were working class yes - but that meant they worked for a living. They did not expect handouts or make excuses. They went out and found work, often back-breaking low paid manual labour.

It is such a pity that any thread of this type immediately gets hijacked by one extreme or the other, rather than allowing any kind of meaningful discussion. I don't blame the OP at all (who I assume fled long ago) - if it was my child going to a school like this I would move heaven and earth to change that.

op- we did change schools with ds1. like your dc, he didn't like the school and neither did we.
he settled quickly and it's been the best move we've ever made. although it was scary at the time, wondering if we had made the right decision.

do what your heart says

People were working class yes - but that meant they worked for a living. They did not expect handouts or make excuses. They went out and found work, often back-breaking low paid manual labour

Yeah them good old days!

Then thatcher destroyed the trade unions, british industry was pretty much killed off and tbh the 'benefits britain' type folk that you see today are yesteryears 'factory fodder.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere Sun 24-Jun-12 12:14:23 I'm not calling you a liar but you have focused on negatives in the same way that I have pointed out the positives.

I've been thinking about this comment whilst I've been out this afternoon. Considering that we are discussing influence from peers and the impact on education i haven't been able to come up with much in the way of positives.

I would like to say that my upbringing in the sort of place i described means i was exposed to people of all classes and walks of life, but i wasn't. I was only aware of those around me, like the ones I've described. I didn't realise until i was quite old how different peoples lives where and their ideas of what was acceptable behaviour.

I don't think it would be great the other way either, to only mix with the middle or upper classes.

My own children go to a very mixed school where there are families like the ones i grew up with but also some who are quite successful and hard working. So there are parents at the school who are teachers, solicitors, artists, in recruitment, bookkeepers, builders, pubworkers, shop workers etc and there are also those who chose not to work and some that are on drugs (i posted on the thread about the child's party where people were doing drugs as i had also been to one recently). There is the odd family who you really wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of but most people are very nice.

That sort of mixture is really good i think, gives a child a more balanced view of the world.

There are plenty of hard working people on the estate where I live. Many WC people are quite happy with their lot in life and don't aspire to the leafy MC suburban lifestyle.

And quite frankly it's a bit insulting to think we should all better ourselves.