to think that gender selection should be legalised in the uk?

[ChocolateBiscuitCake]

I have three glorious boys. I would love to have a girl as well.

I really don't understand why PGD for gender selection is illegal in the UK. I completely accept that it should not be funded through the nhs, but can not see why couples can not pay privately.

You are not choosing eye colour etc, simply the gender of your child to balance your family dynamic.

If ivf couples are allowed to pick/choose/freeze embryos, why is PGD illegal?

Aibu to think that it should be legal in this country? I would not be trying to create a 'superior race', just balance our family with a girl - a daughter for me and DH and a sister for my sons.

Thing is most people who would opt for gender balancing probably wouldn't just want a girl or a boy. They would want one of each.

As I said I am ttc no 2, I have one dd and would love it if I could have a ds (I would also be overjoyed to have another dd but in my heart of hearts I want one of each)

Does that make me a bad person?

Oh dear, I had no idea my family and friends were so disappointed when DS was born

glasto people DO always say things like "Oh well boys are slower" at ALL KINDS of things and "Well what do you expect? He's a boy!

It pisses me right off and I don't even have a boy!

People say things like 'typical boy' if they see behaviour in a boy that is not appropriate. Apparently bad behaviour is expected in a boy.

No, whenshe, it doesn't. Thinking "ooh it'd be nice if it were a boy" isn't the same as going to extreme lengths (ie IVF) to have one.

They also don't expect boys to be as alert / verbal / clever / kind.

Fullof, I think you're filtering what you hear through your own attitudes. People say plenty of negative things about girls too - girls are "bitchy," "sneaky," "whiny," etc etc. IME people say all sort of ridiculous and nasty things about children of all genders and personalities. If everyone listened to everyone else's silly prejudices and shallow opinions about children, the human race would die out!

YY, GooseRocks "boys are cuddly/love their mums etc", "girls are bitchy/instigators etc".

Fullofregrets - there is a very definite anti boy undertone in society.

That has got to be one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard.

I have never heard anyone say that boys are slower and girls are bitchy etc etc. I've only experienced people being curious about the sex of the baby, not expressing any judgement on it.

Exactly Cailin. But WhenShe if you went as far as to choose embryo selection because you felt like having a boy, then that would make you a bad person imo.

So what do you think of people doing the shettles method then. They are trying to select one gender (admittedly it isn't the most successful).

Is what they are doing morally repugnant?

I vaguely remember being taught at school that after WWI the birth rate of boys increased in Europe - and this attributed to "nature" adjusting itself to redress the imbalance because of the vast number of men being killed. That could of course be bollocks and I've googled it and can't find anything to back up my memory....

However - the sex selection abortion in India and China will lead to serious problems. Large numbers of wifeless men are causing politicians real concern. A domination of men in a society is expected to lead to great instability (in China per year approx a million girls are thought to be aborted).

I can't help think the roughly 50/50 split of male and female births shouldn't be tampered with. Don't fuck with nature in this instance. There's a good reason why we don't choose. It's for the greater good.

As my friend with 3 DDs says - it's hardly as if they are all carbon copies of each other - they couldn't be more different. Just because they are girls doesn't make them the same.

EasilyBored - IME it tends to be the older generation who say silly things about children - they seem to have fixed ideas about girls and boys behave

Or at least a shallow and selfish one with little imagination.

I was going to say 'I think it's okay if there's a genuine reason for it' but then couldn't think of a genuine reason.

From my point of view when you have children you take a risk - you don't know if it's going to be male or female (if that's important to you), you don't know if it's going to have a condition which affects your lives as a family, you don't know exactly what it's going to look like, and so on.

I'd like to think that any children I have will be desperately wanted and loved regardless.

No I don't think it's morally repugnant I think it's seriously naive and misguided. I think if you are very fixated on one gender then you need to think carefully about why you're becoming a parent.

I don't think there's anything wrong with feeling like it qould be quite nice to have one or the other, and even something like Shettles (which just cracks me up anyway) doesn't offend me; because I think it's about the strength of the feeling. If you would quite like a girl, but you get a boy and are really happy, then fine. If you would really really like a girl and get a boy and you are devestated and make crappy comments about it, then that's horrible. Does that make sense?

YABVU

As someone who is struggling to conceive full stop, I exercise my right to tell you to be grateful for what you already have.

I certainley don't have lower expectations of my boys.

As someone who lived a Childhood knowing I was a dissapointlent and caused the breakdown of my patent marriage all because I didn't have a penis YABVU it's bloody disgusting to choose your baby based on their sex.

Gender selection is a horrible horrible idea. Why cant people just be grateful to have healthy children?

Ok, so you have IVF to get a boy, you have four eggs fertilize, all four are female, what do you do, put them in the bin and start again?