to think that gender selection should be legalised in the uk?

[ChocolateBiscuitCake]

I have three glorious boys. I would love to have a girl as well.

I really don't understand why PGD for gender selection is illegal in the UK. I completely accept that it should not be funded through the nhs, but can not see why couples can not pay privately.

You are not choosing eye colour etc, simply the gender of your child to balance your family dynamic.

If ivf couples are allowed to pick/choose/freeze embryos, why is PGD illegal?

Aibu to think that it should be legal in this country? I would not be trying to create a 'superior race', just balance our family with a girl - a daughter for me and DH and a sister for my sons.

musicismylife i have re-read the post, i am not sure how it is patronising, rambly maybe! i was just commenting on the scans etc and aslo others have said they only know indian families etc with sons, or more sons than daughters and that my experience doesnt match that iyswim? tho its only anecdotal of course the family i know dont seem to have a preference, like i said i dont know them all that well as there is a language barrier, but well enough to smile and wave and they certainly dont seem to treat their girls any differently from their boy. yet some posters have stated they think there is a strong cultural preference and have seen it. i am sure there is in some places, my experience is not of that tho.

as i said i think sex selection is wrong unless on medical grounds and cant understand why you would do it, and i have 4 boys and then a girl, we always wanted 4 and were very lucky to have our 4 boys easily, no 5 was a bit of a bonus baby, not exactly planned, we didnt care what gender the baby was, just hoped it was as problem free as my others pregnancy/births had been.

anyway as i said i didnt mean it to be patronising, it was just a jumble of my thoughts/comments on the thread as it has progressed iyswim?

I haven't read the whole thread, but I'm against most things that don't work as nature intended.

My parents (whom I love deeply) could not have children. They agreed that they did not want IVF and decided to adopt (I know this is a different process, not a comparison). During the process they were matched with a little girl, unfortunately she had a very strong family history of Schizophrenia and they decided they could not cope. They ended up being matched with and adopting me. I have developed severe Schizo-affective Disorder and they've managed wonderfully. I admire their choices and the fact that they have coped with something they did not believe they could.

I understand the idea of selection on medical grounds, that is not really very different to abortion on medical grounds (in cases where a condition would cause a short and painful life). No one really knows exactly what they'd do in a situation like that until they're in it. However I deeply believe that gender selection is wrong for reasons of want. The fact my parents decided they could not cope with severe mental illness in a child, and yet managed to, I think shows both that what we imagine as our child's future may not come to be and that really once that child is in our care it does not matter what gender it is, whether it becomes ill and needs extra care or what the looks and personality are because we end up loving them for being them, we want the best for them whatever that is. Gender selection where a parent is desperate for a certain gender takes away from that unconditional love and that is - to me - wrong. OP, if you were a friend in real life I would urge you to attend a counsellor and find out why you desire a certain gender, what do you feel your missing?

I think using the United States for statistics of pgd swaying the usual number of boys/girls born is difficult because it hasn't been massively popular for a long time and the US is so big with so many different cultures varying in state to state that each could viably be taken as a country.

Sorry for the length of this post. I hope I haven't offended anyone, it wasn't the intention, and I send lots of love to those who have conceived and lost or are finding it difficult to conceive. From both mine and my family's experience I know the pain involved. xxx

on another website, which will remain nameless but is not netmums there was a lady who had 7 girls hoping for a boy to replace the first child she ever had who was boy, sadly he had died.

She was raising money to do gender selection, i cant imagine how all daughters felt, each time it was a dissapointment

LittleWhiteMice, that sounds very similar to the lady on the C4 Documentary '8 Boys and wanting a girl' who had a DC1 who died and kept trying to have another girl. I think it does support that being that set on gender is a psychological problem - it's causing distress to the person - and that they should try to work out with a counsellor what the root of the problem is. In those cases I would guess (of course not being that person I don't know) that losing a precious child would have had influence on their desire for a specific gender. It is such a sad situation to hear of, no child can replace another and we should not nurture that painful feeling in someone through legalising GPD but encourage them to get help with healing it.

I don't know if that came out right, I don't for a moment suggest a slight preference towards one is a problem, but when it is causing such distress it can't be healthy.

Based on my experience, I'd be surprised if men truly are biased in favour of girl babies.

I think that a lot of men want boys -they think they will be able to bond and do 'boyish' things. Just as wrong as women wanting a girl. The boy may not share any interests with the father. The father may want someone to take to football and the son may have no interest whatsoever.

There are a whole lot of assumptions made DCs and what they will be like-lots of it totally wrong.

There was a thread on here once about someone complaining that their DH was dragging the whole family off at weekends to caravan in Wales and go sailing. It sounded lovely to me! However it brought forth masses of people who were very resentful of a childhood forced to follow the parents interests. You may think that you will have a sailing mad family and yet they may all hate it.

Goodness! What an interesting viewpoint some people have! My matriarchal line doesn't carry boys. We'd all love a boy. In four generations and a total of 13 kids, two are male. That's a family imbalance! My Nana had one brother (2sisters), no sons, and one grandson. Between my sister and I we've so far produced three girls. I would love the one I'm carrying to be a boy, for my grandad as much as anything else. But it isn't going to happen. I'm sure I'm carrying a girl. I wouldn't change it for the world.

I'm the sciency geek. I don't think I can carry boys without danger to my health tbh. There's a reason we have girls. Tbh if I could choose anything, o wouldn't choose the sex. I would choose fir my baby to have my eye colour. DH gas brown eyes, so it's likely my babies will too.

And that's where the danger lies. Where do you stop? A blue-eyed baby would give my family balance.

But I honestly don't care what I get so long as its a viable baby. My preference is for one that lives, pink, blue or bloody green I honestly don't care. And that, in my very humble opinion is how it should be.

No.

Besides for medical purposes (if there is a gender dominant life affecting illness that runs in the family) then no. The population is split 50/50 (ish) for a reason, we start messing with that then unnatural inequalities can arise and we don't know what the repercussions of that would be.

THIS THREAD IS 11 YEARS OLD!!

People tend to want more boys than girls. It would upset the balance.