to think that gender selection should be legalised in the uk?

[ChocolateBiscuitCake]

I have three glorious boys. I would love to have a girl as well.

I really don't understand why PGD for gender selection is illegal in the UK. I completely accept that it should not be funded through the nhs, but can not see why couples can not pay privately.

You are not choosing eye colour etc, simply the gender of your child to balance your family dynamic.

If ivf couples are allowed to pick/choose/freeze embryos, why is PGD illegal?

Aibu to think that it should be legal in this country? I would not be trying to create a 'superior race', just balance our family with a girl - a daughter for me and DH and a sister for my sons.

It might cause a huge gender imbalance.

I don't understand the desire for this. Do people craving a child of a particular sex actually think it is different raising a boy to a girl? Or think their relationships with their children would be different based on their child's genitalia?

Past abuse, issues with husband (worried son might turn out like him) identify with girls better, don't want to be a mil, have a great relationship with my mom and would like the chance for the same.
Lots of reasons, none to do with pink and princesses though!

I think it's a horrible idea.

You don't get to "pick" your baby.

I honestly don't understand the awfulness of having one sex over another.

And op I wonder how your boys feel if you talk about this type of thing, how you would love to have another child but too scared to fall pregnant naturally in case it's another boy

That's what I find baffling Shakirasma. There must be an assumption that the child picked will conform to a gender stereotype.

I'm with the slippery slope brigade.

I understand for seriousl health issues/screenings or whatever but no, I dont think we should mess with nature just because we want a certain gender. A healthy baby should be enough for anyone.

Because of course gender preference is not a vile vile thing which leads to abominable behaviour. Just look at the attitude to female babies in India, and the resulting gender imbalance in the population.

Quite amazed that someone could seriously consider this a good option simply so they can have their 'dream' family.

There are people, even in the UK, who would view a daughter as inferior. If choice in the matter became possible, or even worse - commonplace, then that would only validate that attitude and lead to girl babies being seen as entirely unnecessary and disposable. Not to mention probably vulnerable women being coerced by men in their family into choosing the sex of their baby against their will.

IMO it should only be considered in cases where a severe hereditary problem would only apply to one gender.

That's what I'm wondering to Shakirasma - do people feel life will be different with one gender rather than another? When I was ttc I just wanted a child, I couldn't envisage a boy or a girl because I had no idea what the child would be like if that makes sense?

The west vastly perfers girls.
Look at most superstar celebrities. They often have girls. I suspect they gender select because it definitely isn't 50:50 amongst their children. Especially in America.

Who would decide whether a couple had a good enough reason? Or are you suggesting that anyone with enough money could go along and just choose?

What about the other embryos?

So, the law changes and you get your girl. Do you think your 3rd (and even your 2nd) son might not think that you only had them in the hope they were girls?

Do people undergoing IVF really get to choose (medical conditions aside)?

Prefers even.

I think it will be a sad day when we can choose the sex of our baby!

We should get what we are given.

I have 2 ds and when I was expecting ds2 I was secretly hoping for a girl but it wasn't to be

If I could have gender selected I would have missed out on this wonderful, cheeky clever, funny 17 month old ds who is running around my living room chasing a boon! (Balloon)

YABU

If you think that a child of a different gender will "balance your family dynamic" then you are putting far too much pressure on that child to have a particular kind of personality.

Shais when I was first pregnant...I wanted a boy because I could not imagine relating to a girl...I've never had many female friends and I was worried I'd be shit at Mothering girls.I'm not as it happens and of course loved her more than anything right away....

I have often wondered how some people get on so badly with their children and treat them with such unkindness, but seeing as some people don't even want the child they're blessed with because it's the "wrong" gender then I suppose there's no hope for them really is there?

The thing is memoo there is more of a gender imbalance now than there used to be. More girls are being born than boys.

I guess you could argue gender selection would make things worse if more people want girls.

I am totally against this unless it is for the medical reasons stated by another poster.

The very idea of gender selection for the sake of the 'right' gender does not sit right with me at all, it seems supremely selfish and to value the desired gender above the child as an individual.

In fact, I'm so against it that I'm struggling to find words to sum up my abhorrence at the idea of it in a coherent manner.

Why would it cause a gender imbalance? Surely most people opting to pay for this service would already have 1+ children of the opposite gender.

I just find the moral high ground on this really out of touch. Perhaps on having a daughter I could give a proper answer as to whether raising children of an opposite gender was different. I don't care whether it is or isn't, but would like to parent sons and daughters!

I never wanted boys.

Fullofregrets what were you doing have kids knowing there was a 50/50 chance of your not wanting what came out?

My brother has three boys - all completely different personalities and all wonderful. When their third was born it was incredible how many people actually directly asked if they were disappointed they had had another boy.

It all smacks of treating babies like commodities rather than human beings to me.

I think if you're putting expectations on a child before they're even born - preselecting them according to some idea you have about how they'll change your family or conform to your expectations, then that child has no chance at all.

I know a couple of people who became aware as they got older that their parents wanted the other gender. One in a particular was a girl who was given a boy's name (how fucking unsubtle can you be???) and it has affected them hugely. Children sense their parents true feelings towards them and if they're "wrong" from that start then how can they ever feeling wanted or welcome?

OP YABU. Gender selection is interfering with nature. Also it's not very fair on you son as you would be giving him the message that a girl is better then a boy. I have 3 DDs and would never have considered gender selection.

Thats a good point chocolate you could make it a requirement that people have already had one child.

I know I have not really considered the ethical implications just thought about the practicalities

Because you think your reasons for wanting a girl are TOTALLY justified. Just like everyone else thinks their reasons for wanting x/y/z are also TOTALLY justified.

The issues in India concerning female foeticide should tell you everything you need to know about why, although your desires are understandable, the practice to achieve those desires is abhorrent.

YABU.

Chocolate what do you expect a daughter to be like? What balance are you hoping a daughter would add to your family?