to think that gender selection should be legalised in the uk?

[ChocolateBiscuitCake]

I have three glorious boys. I would love to have a girl as well.

I really don't understand why PGD for gender selection is illegal in the UK. I completely accept that it should not be funded through the nhs, but can not see why couples can not pay privately.

You are not choosing eye colour etc, simply the gender of your child to balance your family dynamic.

If ivf couples are allowed to pick/choose/freeze embryos, why is PGD illegal?

Aibu to think that it should be legal in this country? I would not be trying to create a 'superior race', just balance our family with a girl - a daughter for me and DH and a sister for my sons.

I'm with you supergah.

I also agree with fullofregrets that there is a girl preference, particularly amongst women. Much less excitement for boys. 2 people with girls said to me, oh I would have had another but only if I could guarantee it was a girl!

I would not allow gender selection, collectively I think we would end up with an imbalance. I also question the fitness to parent to undergo ivf and all that entails just to avoid a boy. I think this sort of thread is really hurtful to those struggling to conceive.

Happiness isnt thinking what you would love to have - it's loving what you have .

I saw this on a church notice board today.

Rather twee but true .

Well, while we're at it, I would do IVF selection to get one that sleeps through the night.

Sex selection using Microsort (sperm sorting), on it's own or in conjunction with PGD is available to those who can afford to travel to America - they call it family balancing and you can have it if to have a child already, and hope for a child of the other sex - most people doing this have 2 or more children of the same sex (and more people want to conceive girls using the service).

I looked into this several years ago, before naturally conceiving DC4 (a 4th son of course! ).

With regards to celebs having lots of daughters - partly down to statistics, the older a woman is, the more likely she will have a girl (the male fetus is more likely to miscarry if it has minor genetic problems, and the risk of these increase dramatically as the woman gets older)

With regards to the "it's not natural" camp- almost nothing we do it the firld of science or medicine is "natural", that's not a good reason to say "this should not be allowed".

If EVERYONE was allowed to choose the sex of a second baby, if they wanted too, I think most people would chose to have "one of each" and limit themselves to 2 children - I know a huge number of people who's 3 or 4 child has been loved, and wanted - but it's been "hoped" that the child would be the opposite sex.

SO - maybe CHOICE would be better from a population control POV?

And I do think it's unfair to compare choice in the "west" with barbaric practices in rural India/China.

Er, I realise that was a really flippant comment and genuinely don't want to offend anyone that's gone/going through IVF

YABVVU. Having lost a child, and now 20 weeks pregnant, I am just hoping with many fingers crossed that I have a healthy child. I couldn't give a toss whether it's a boy or a girl. A child is not a right, it's a privilege. Stop being so bloody ungrateful. There are lots and lots of women out there struggling to conceive, or who have lost babies. Pretty sure not ONE of them would say a boy is preferable to a girl (or vice-versa). Sorry.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid - why would you say that? It certainly isn't the case in the UK that more girls are being born than boys - the pattern hasn't changed that much since 1938 in England and Wales, with between 1050 and 1060 boys born for every 1000 girls.

I'm not sure how I feel about the OP. Although I'm not sure I can see much harm in allowing somebody to "complete" their family if they already have at least two children of one gender and they want a further child of the opposite gender.

Quite honestly EasilyBored I know you weren't being serious but I don't see any difference between selecting gender and selecting characteristics! (and your post did make me chortle!)

YABU I remember when I was in hospital after having my first son, there was a lady in the bed opposite who had had her third son. She was very upset and cried loads - said she was grieving for the daughter she will never have. I asked her why it was so important for her to have a daughter and she replied that she wanted someone to go shopping with, have her nails done girlie times with etc... It made me laugh but also feel sad because all this seemed more important to her than a healthy baby son!!! I reasoned with her that if she had had a girl she may grow up to be a tomboy and not be girly at all - like me I was a tomboy hated wearing dresses etc.. poor mum didn't have much girly time with me. A work colleague has one son and she is always shopping with him they have a right giggle together, so gender is not importand it is all about the person.

You can plan a girl without gender selection. Have intercourse the day before you ovulate. The male sperm swims faster but the female sperm lives longer

I think this sort of thread is really hurtful to those struggling to conceive.

It is hurtful for a lot of people -and said by those who are not grateful for the vast amount of privilege they have and think they are entitled to get just what you want because we live in a materialistic society where generally you can. This is one of the things that you can't order like the perfect wedding day, the lovely nursery etc

Doesn't IVF only have about a 50/50 success rate at best anyway?

So you go through all the expense, drugs and operations just so that you don't have the wrong sex and after all that you end up with no baby at all. I would have a long hard look at why you want children (and whether you should have) at all if this is you.

It generally boils down to shopping and clothes-despite the fact that a DD may hate it-wouldn't consider shopping with mother and doesn't want to look pretty!

How about you look at China, where the age 20 male population is now so high there are few girls to marry/procreate with. They couldn't gender select but they did dump baby girls where in orphages/abort. The same in India.

In all seriousness, the people who are having IVF are desperate to have A baby. What happened to just wanting a happy, healthy baby?

IVF stats are 35% sucess rate.

I wonder how many people who say it's pefectly reasonable have ever felt how painful it is to be doing all you can month after month, year on year to conceive a child, just one, any gender, and for nothing to happen. That's real disappointment.

isitme was thinking back to an article I read a few years ago. It was about more girls being born in the west possibly due to changes in eating habits.

Will see if I can find it somewhere.

I agree with Supergah and Exotic and...oh, yeah: everyone who thinks the idea of gender selection is like something out of a horror-satire on the consumer culture.

FFS.

This craze took of in China because of a shortage of girls

What gives people the right to choose their childs gender, all children are precious. Why is there a need to control what gender a child is- does it really matter that much.

I personally think an element of vanity is involved- people believing that the perfect family is a boy and a girl, with people thinking they are missing out not having both sexes when they should appreciate the child/ren they have.

Society is becoming very much a society where I need, I want, I must is becoming more and more important to people, somethings in life we cant change and theres good reason for this.

As for the boys arent valued as much as girls comment I have found this to be very much the opposite in my case, a lot of men prefer sons initially, most of my friends wanted boys and my son was treated like a little prince by both mine and my husbands family.

YABU-Really don't agree with gender selection, you should be happy to be blessed with any child no matter what sex it is IMHO & as others have said what if the child doesn't conform to it's gender anyway??

Agree with the poster who said that the human race is bcoming too obsessed with control.

I think it is fine in cases where a boy or a girl might have a high chance of a genetic defect because of their sex. But just because someone wants one or the other - no.

You have to remember that IVF stats are easily skewed. My fertility nurse told me that, should I need IVF (not quite there yet!) the odds of it bring successful ate very high because my eggs are healthy and DH has good sperm. My problem is that I do not ovulate regularly, so it is an issue of timing.

A lot of people undergoing IVF have pretty serious issues already, do their odds of conceiving are already lowered.

"People say things like 'typical boy' if they see behaviour in a boy that is not appropriate. Apparently bad behaviour is expected in a boy."

So for that reason you think you should be able to choose not to have a boy?