To REALLY HATE DOGS?

[Cockwomble]

Slobbering everywhere wagging their tails, coming up to me licking my hand.

They STINK, get their GRUBBY MUDDY paws ALL OVER ME and leave hair everywhere.

They run wildly around parks, savaging all the babies and elderly. BASTARDS. Eating poo and spreading diseases. A HAIRY MENACE.

I understand that this thread is tongue-in-cheek but I really DO hate dogs.

OH THE HORROR

I'm with the op. They are nothing more than mobile shit machines.

Mobile shit machines

I have a Springer.

He is fab-u-lous. Lovely dog. Well trained, obedient and patient.

I did, however, once vomit in the woods when I saw him eating what I can only presume to be fox poo.

PandaDog is a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel I'll have ye know cockwomble. No squished noses and goggly eyes.

They are NOT nothing but mobile shit machines!

They are also slavering child killers and cat murderers too.

I feel that my dogs must be faulty in some way. Only one of them is smelly (and even she's not smelly all of the time) - the other one is clean smelling because she swims in the river every time she goes out.

Only one of them eats her own poo - though both of them eat cow poo, horse poo, sheep poo and rabbit poo.

Only one of them is prone to licking people, the other rarely does.

Both have muddy paws sometimes.

But neither of them have savaged so much as one elderly person or baby - not even a little bit. What a disappointment they are.

And I head they use off-shore bank accounts to avoid paying tax.

*heard

They are shit machines. They spend their time sniffing their arse or some persons crouch. They drag their arse along the carpet, slobber over anyone that goes near them and eat tiny babies.

None of which my lovely cat does.

"Only one of them is prone to licking people..."

I bet it's the one that eats it's own shit...

How did you guess??!

There is good reason for the bum sniffing...

The dogs, they had a meeting.
They came from near and far.
And some came in by taxi
And some came in by car.

They went into the meetinghouse
And signed the visitor's book
And each one, and each one
And each one, and each one
Hung his asshole upon the nearest hook.

One dog was not invited
Which caused him great ire.
He stood outside the meetinghouse
And boldly shouted, "fire."

The dogs got all excited
They didn't stop to look
And each one, and each one
And each one, and each one
Grabbed an asshole from off the nearest hook.

Now this then is my story
And it is very sore
To wear some other's asshole
You've never worn before

And that is why when dogs meet
On land or sea or shore
Each one sniffs the, each one sniffs the
Each one sniffs the, each one sniffs
The other's asshole in hopes it is his own.

my cat is an old mangey looking thing but she is still better looking than any dog

Cats do arse dragging.

So none of you people ever shit? Divinities all...

Or fart?

And of course no human beings ever hurt children, or babies....

I don't shit right on the edge of a grass verge in optimum position for someone wearing sandals to tread in it.

You are being v unreasonable, dogs rock

Oh dear. This thread is going to turn from a lighthearted thread to a proper dog/anti-dog bunfight isn't it?

i think my cat has been hanging around dogs too much

he is very eager to please, comes when i call him, slobbers and if i throw somehting he brings it back, other cats look at him with disgust and the sultry young lady cat next door will have nothing to do with him. he still has a few cat ways (covers his poo in the garden) but not many he has even stopped killing mice

but he is lovely :)

my cat would never drag her arse along the carpet. She is a ladyee and would never act like a slut cat.