to have put dd's dinner in the bin?

[greenwheelie]

Dinner tonight - scampi, potato wedges and salad. I put some chunks of beetroot in the salad. DD2(6) anounced she hates beetroot. I told her she could eat one piece only. We have always had the rule (dd is 3rd child) that you have to try everything on the plate.

My Mum and Dad are here for the evening. DD sat and cried, fake-coughed and kept shouting that she was going to be sick. We ignore her for a while, then I said if she couldn't be quiet and eat then she would have to leave the room. She continued so I told her to go. After 5 minutes she was quiet so I asked her to come back and join us. She immediately started the drama again. I told her she was spoiling the dinner for all of us and if she didn't stop that would be the end of her meal. She got a piece of beetroot on her fork and waved it around, crying and coughing. So I took her food away and sent her out. The food is now in the bin and dd is in bed.

My parents are now saying I am like an army general and that dd will be hungry. Was I being unreasonable and AIBU to feel very unsupported in trying to discipline a strong-willed child?

I've never used dessert as a reward,no

YABU, that's a horrible rule. Children are probably more likely to end up trying stuff later if they've never had to sit for hours at a table being made to put something in their mouths which they don't want to. Give her her plate, praise for trying new stuff, but this forcing is horrid.

YANBU. When I was growing up the options were (1) eat your dinner, or (2) banana + glass of milk + bed.

MamaTJ I did the same. I once had an interesting scenario with my 3yo niece - she refused to say thank you so I refused to elt go of the biscuit and she was trying to prise crumbs from between my fingers!

My sister still has food issues from being forced to eat certain foods at school.

The ones she was forced to eat she won't eat to this day.

I was ready to say you were unreasonable and harsh, but thinking about it, this is more about the behaviour and the unnecessary tantrum than the beetroot, so on reflection YANBU.

I don't like beetroot never had done horrible. Not liking somthing is only human we all have things we do not like.
This being said I belive the whole situation could of been avoided if you simply took the beetroot off the plate. Fair enough you want her to try alittle bit but to be honest the smell of beetroot alone puts me off any meal so you have to be abit open minded .
I have never forced food upon any child. Some days they are abit fussy and other days they are not thats life there are some days when we all feel abit off our food right? So why would it be different for anyone else big or small :)
Sure enough when they are hungry they will let you know

YABU Maybe she has already tried it somewhere else. DS1 has tried all sorts at school.

My 2 won't even touch salad! Although they like beetroot.

I rarely do battle over food, life is too short. I was made to eat things I didn't want to and made to clear the plate. I have major issues with food!

yes my kids will willingly eat veggies, my dd eats tomatoes raw out of the fridge, my ds likes cucumber and cries for it. dd2 likes peas, they all love sweetcorn, beans, lentils, and many of my meals are meat free.

tiago i wouldnt say that was U, bannana and milk is fine imo

ds until recently would only eat sweetcorn, peas and raw carrots. I didn't do anything to change this. Recently he asked to try mange tout because I was eating some, and he loves them now. He's also started eating tiny bits of broccoli because he's seen his sister tucking in with gusto (she loves broccoli). There's no pressure at all for him and he will try in good time.

When I was little I refused to eat anything but jars of baby food (God knows why my mum put up with this, I certainly wouldn't!).... now there's very little I won't eat :o

Green, think you are not being unreasonable at all (except to throw away food that you could have had later)

When in university, I worked in a healthfood supermarket, in the fresh deli counter. The amount of yum mums who came along with their children saying 'darling, what would you like for lunch?' Invariably the response was cheese pizza. They should have gone to a fast-food place instead!

I cannot understand why people would let small children make decisions regarding food. They know zilch about nutrition and have no idea on the variety of foods out there. I read somewhere that you have to try a food thirteen times before you start liking it. So for all you beetroot haters, go on, cone back after having it 13 times and tell us what you think

My children always have the choice to stop fannying about and eat their food nicely (which doesn't mean clearing their plate if they don't like it - just not making a huge drama out of it) or leaving the table. If they choose to leave the table then I deem the meal to be over and clear up as appropriate - if that means throwing away uneaten food so be it.

Oh, and I don't offer them any extra food if they haven't made a decent go of eating their meal. If they have cleared their plates and are still hungry, then they are welcome to have some extra food.

my dd2 and ds dont even like pizza.

what is wrong with letting them choose once a week etc?

My cousin is terrible for this. 'I don't like that' 'I can't eat that' 'I'll be sick' How do you know if you've never tried it?

These things are decided on more then just taste. Im sure there are things you wouldn't put in your mouth just because of how they look. That's a normal human reaction. Forcing them to eat things which go against their human instinct is not going to end well. And the fear of being sick can be a strong one. Why would you want them to ignore that?

Someone said to me once, imagine i put a slug (or whatever) in front of you and said you HAD to try it. How would you feel? Would you want to put that in your mouth or would that go against your instinct? Its like that for toddlers with unfamiliar foods and doesn't magically disappear.

lol thats abit stupid try it 13 times eww you would be sick surely not nice.
Human rights ladies its every childs right not to have food forced into them :)

Yes my kids eat vegetables when I put them in front of them.

I do let them choose sometimes. They ask me to make pizza on Friday evenings usually. I have quite high food standards and hate them eating processed crap so the pizza base and tomato sauce would be home-made. I would serve them a plate of raw veg sticks while the pizza is cooking because I want them to get used to veg being part of every meal.

I told my dd1 that 13 times rule (I think it's 15?) and she loved it, being a box-ticking kind of girl.

We have always had the rule (dd is 3rd child) that you have to try everything on the plate

I wish I lived in your house. I'd be a size zero.

My mum used to make me try eat everything and I used to heave and cry through my dinner on the nights there was cauliflower and swede.

Guess what I still won't eat? Whilst I agree it is good for children to try different foods. sometimes they really, really don't want to. Can your DD really fake crying?

flatbread there's nothing wrong with pizza per se... it's just bread and tomato sauce and toppings. If it's home made (which we do quite a lot) it's actually pretty healthy. Lots of veg can be deployed in the name of pizza, smothered in cheese (good source of calcium) and the kids think they're getting away with junk food. It's a win win situation as I see it. They actually prefer my pizzas now to any shop bought ones.

I don't agree with your food policy personally - mine don't 'have' to try new foods but if they refuse to eat a decent amount of a meal they like or at least try a new meal then there's nothing else. I never get in a fight about it, they are free to stop eating without being told off or anything but they know I won't make anything else.

I DO agree with your tantrum policy though, I wouldn't have allowed mine to sit at the table and make that kind of fuss. I'd have done the same - given them another chance to sit back down with us and if they carried on dinner would be over.

I might have let them come back and eat it later if they'd calmed right down and apologised though so I probably wouldn't have binned it.

So all of you who let their dcs choose what they eat, do they willingly sit down and devour all their veggies?

Yes. Not every time, not every vegetable, but they do love vegetables as i have never made them out to be something horrible that they have to get though. I also set a good example in that way as i love them and eat loads. I ask my husband who isn't always so keen to do the same.

Mine ask for carrots and peppers as snacks. (they also love chocolate and biscuits)

rabbitee that sounds exactly how my folks are with red wine and coffee, neither of which I like. They insist I MUST try it. Grrrrr, I'm 42, I know that I don't like it. I have tried it. I know that I last tried it 20 years ago, but I won't change my mind now bog off