to have put dd's dinner in the bin?

[greenwheelie]

Dinner tonight - scampi, potato wedges and salad. I put some chunks of beetroot in the salad. DD2(6) anounced she hates beetroot. I told her she could eat one piece only. We have always had the rule (dd is 3rd child) that you have to try everything on the plate.

My Mum and Dad are here for the evening. DD sat and cried, fake-coughed and kept shouting that she was going to be sick. We ignore her for a while, then I said if she couldn't be quiet and eat then she would have to leave the room. She continued so I told her to go. After 5 minutes she was quiet so I asked her to come back and join us. She immediately started the drama again. I told her she was spoiling the dinner for all of us and if she didn't stop that would be the end of her meal. She got a piece of beetroot on her fork and waved it around, crying and coughing. So I took her food away and sent her out. The food is now in the bin and dd is in bed.

My parents are now saying I am like an army general and that dd will be hungry. Was I being unreasonable and AIBU to feel very unsupported in trying to discipline a strong-willed child?

OP is probably burnt out and not keeping up with all 751 - oops make that 752 messages.

I'm now more interested in hearing about Dinners That Are Guaranteed To Offend.

Round here a starter of garlic mushrooms with goats cheese, chilli con carne with extra hot chillis followed by jam sponge pudding with custard would ring so many alarm bells that there'd not be a one of us who'd avoid an early bedtime.

(Sorry for the diversion)

Question for those who are unshakable in their belief that children are to be controlled and that a parents mission in life is to force them to eat wichety grubs, do you take your children to restaurants ? Do you allow them to 'CHOOSE' what they would like from the menu ? Or do you dictate that as well ?

Pandemoniaa - am SO offended by the notion that jam sponge is an object of derision to some people

Pandemoniaa I only did one course! I'll correct that now.

Starter - soup (minestrone or butternut squash) OR stuffed peppers with goats cheese
Main - Salmon fillets with new potatoes with the skins on, peas and sweetcorn OR liver and onions with peas
Dessert - Trifle or Rice Pudding

I'm getting ready for bed just thinking about it

Stuff- yes it was one bit of beetroot. So why did the op have to make an issue of it?

Child makes fuss about beetroot, so you ask dc to calm down , if they don't then yes they must leave the table. But don't then set up round two by asking her to eat the sodding beetroot once she had retuned to the table!!
The op has already said it wasn't about the sodding beetroot but about the child's behaviour. In that case why oh why, once the child had calmed down, did the op ask her to eat the beetroot again?

I think you would have been better served by paying less attention to the beetroot,and more attention to the fact that your child was over-tired.You could have avoided the whole incident then.

Was it really worth having your dd upset,yourself stressed and your parents proven right about your sargeant-major attitude...just so that you could win the battle of wills between yourself and your daughter??

You're the adult,find a smarter way of dealing with it for the other battles of will that will most probably arise.

By the way....your daughter won that one...she didn't eat the beetroot :)

'do you take your children to restaurants ? Do you allow them to 'CHOOSE' what they would like from the menu ? Or do you dictate that as well ?'

There is restaurant behaviour and eating-at-home behaviour. Eating in restaurants is a treat precisely because it involves choosing food and different things being cooked to order for different individuals, which shouldn't (IMO) be the case at home. I don't think parents asking their kids to eat what they've had cooked for them is 'dictating'; it's just learning that it is not appropriate when someone's cooked for you to turn your nose up or demand something else instead.

Goats cheese on toast for starter
Lamb chops with potato Rosti, big lumps of chorizo and a salad with raw onion and coleslaw.
Trifle.

starter - Any form of any cheese in any way

Main - meat and potato

pud - semolina

Are these worse dinners? This is my nightmare

LacyClarice it was a piece of 'beetroot'. Not much cooking required

Oh wow.....been out the whole day and can't believe this is still going.

I've run out of things to say tbh.

I find it odd that people seem to think from my OP that I was holding dd down and shoving beetroot into her mouth. When I invited her to come back into the room, she wanted to, and beetroot was not even mentioned. She was tired, and not hungry obviously.

I feel like getting my dd1 to write something about how we enjoy our family mealtimes as some people seem to think I make them sit in silence and clean their plates. But that would be a little defensive.

I did laugh out loud at the suggestions that I choose what they have to eat in restaurants. I have been known to draw an imaginary line on the menu separating the expensive meals, otherwise dd1 would choose fillet steak or lobster.

Sassy, I was making a bigger point about manners around food. As I thought you were.

Oh....I've just been to the supermarket to get things for dinner. We're having pasta with bacon and mushrooms with a creme fraiche and mustard sauce. And salad. I did see a bag of salad which contained little slivers of beetroot. I had a small chuckle to myself and didn't buy it.

I think dd is going to refuse to mushrooms, so we could keep this thread going for a bit longer.

I think the problem is greenwheelie that you felt that scampi and wedges was a bit unimpressive for guests so you took a chance and ponced up your salad with some beetroot :)

One thing you can rely on is that children will let you down..

OOOoooo yes - we need to compare how your DS reacts tonight against her performance in front of the Gp's and draw some conclusions on your parenting from that! Arf!

Aww Greenie - you know the drill. You just turn the mushrooms into a huge issue, then you send her to bed upset and hungry. It's what being the boss is all about

To be honest I'd have stuck with, 'try a bit of the beetroot or you won't get pudding' then sent her to her room for the temper tantrum after she had finished the main-course.

But no I don't think you were being dreadfully unreasonable.

bored WITH

I will update - have to cook now.

The dinner last night was a little boring, I agree. As a family we prefer more spicy flavours but my parents are not keen, although they would eat it.

How do I compare the evenings in a controlled way then? I'm sure there is a PhD in this somewhere.....

Sassy there really is no need to be as rude & patronising as you are being, she has a different parenting style to you-get over it!! Hope you don't teach your dc that your opinion is the only one which is right as that would be bad parenting no.........

Just having some lovely beetroot salad right now

Shocked that some of you do not eat normal meals with lamb, salmon, new potatoes with skins(!), trifle or semolina pudding. It is one thing to not consider these your favourite foods, but another thing to 'hate' or avoid them. Surely no one eats their favourite food everyday?

I think it is fussy eaters who are ok with having children who are fussy eaters too. And parents who have made a conscious decision to educate/ widen their palates who are strict regarding meals and non-fussiness.

Obviously there will be exceptions, but I think it is just personal preferences and priorities playing out. I don't think one way is right or wrong and neither attitude will scar children.

Barred - are you a member of the beetroot police too ?

Glad you're enjoying your beetroot salad Flatbread

I think it's just that food can and should be one of life's delights - some people's approaches don't seem to allow much room for pleasure

Also, on the same lines in a way, childhood is one of life's most joyful times - it's not just an apprenticeship for adult life (though it can be that as well)