to have put dd's dinner in the bin?

[greenwheelie]

Dinner tonight - scampi, potato wedges and salad. I put some chunks of beetroot in the salad. DD2(6) anounced she hates beetroot. I told her she could eat one piece only. We have always had the rule (dd is 3rd child) that you have to try everything on the plate.

My Mum and Dad are here for the evening. DD sat and cried, fake-coughed and kept shouting that she was going to be sick. We ignore her for a while, then I said if she couldn't be quiet and eat then she would have to leave the room. She continued so I told her to go. After 5 minutes she was quiet so I asked her to come back and join us. She immediately started the drama again. I told her she was spoiling the dinner for all of us and if she didn't stop that would be the end of her meal. She got a piece of beetroot on her fork and waved it around, crying and coughing. So I took her food away and sent her out. The food is now in the bin and dd is in bed.

My parents are now saying I am like an army general and that dd will be hungry. Was I being unreasonable and AIBU to feel very unsupported in trying to discipline a strong-willed child?

Yes he did, I had to have words with him about that!

I would not find it rude if a child told me they didnt like somthing on their plate why would I ?? Thats life people do not like everything. Its not the end of the world to remove somthing is it.

It depends how they say it. There's a big difference between a child politely asking to leave something on their plate and a whiny "I don't like that".

I don't care if it works. One could do a lot of inadvisable things to get a child to do what you wish,it doesn't mean it's a good idea,or that you should do it.

And I'm sure you're a perfectly pleasant person in all other aspects of life,but that is not by my standards,and by a lot of people's standards I suspect,an acceptable way to treat a child. Food should not be used as a weapon like that,and dragging it over to the next day is not right. It is cruel.

I don't think Quirril's parents were using food as a weapon. They were doing what worked to get their child to eat a variety of foods. What is the big deal?

They were successful as Quirrel eats a more varied diet and she still loves her parents. So what exactly is your problem?

however it gets said it is over in two seconds its not what i would call a big deal dont like/want it dont eat it :)

Quirrelquarrel, you love kids but you can do that to them

I don't get it.

I've explained my problem with it half a dozen times now,so read back if you want to know.

One of my stock phrases is "Are you insulting the chef?" at which my lot usually back down. Once I even offered to have the kitchen ripped out and a home gym installed instead, and said I would devolve the catering budget to them so they could keep themselves in sandwiches. I was half serious. They were very scared at that announcement.

That's a good one Boffinmum. I've also told them that if they say bad things about my cooking they will be cooking the next day.

I tell them if they don't try it I won't know if they like it or not so will keep on cooking it for them until they do. I have threatened to make it the only thing I'll cook if they're being particularly objectionable, especially if it's something I'm confident they will actually like when they actually eat it.

I actually know someone who has grumbled that her child will only eat food that's breaded whereas mine eat loads of different things.... didn't happen overnight love...

Apologies for the overuse of the word actually. mental note to read posts before publishing them

I've explained my problem with it half a dozen times now,so read back if you want to know.

Which doesn't make it any more valid. Dear god woman grow up. Petulance doesn't mean you're right.

Indeed took a while to get to the point we're at now where dcs will eat most things. They all did the toddler eating phase where only about 5 different foods are acceptable, but I kept offering everything then as they got older making it a rule to try everything. It has definitely got them eating a wider range.

MN really needs a like button.
Finally stuffitunderthebed abit of sense!

I think asking children to try some of everything on their plates is perfectly reasonable. Provided that you respect their genuine, and known dislikes. ds2, for example, has never been able to eat mushrooms despite several attempts.

However, when you know you have a child that enjoys a drama (as indeed I had), I avoided food histrionics on those occasions when there was a audience who could be guaranteed to offer a divisive view. Step forward my ILs....

So in your case, it might have been more sensible not to pick the beetroot battle tonight. Your cause was just but the consequences strike me as inevitable.

Well you did ask what my problem was with it,and I've already explained it several times. So I referred you back to my earlier posts. I don't give a shit if you agree or not. I didn't ask you to do so.

Not that it matters what anyone else says.You're too busy basking in the glow of your own 'perfect parenting' to take any notice of it.

I have made chocolate and beetroot cake - not Nigella's though - and it was amazing. Tasted delicious and was an amazing colour. No one had a clue that it had beetroot in it.

My friend's mum would keep serving up her breakfast porridge until she ate it - she would put it in the fridge for when she came home from school.

Three observations:

my friend retches at the sight of porridge now;

my friend has a weight problem;

even as I child I remember thinking her mum was a bit mad. Fair dos, she was annoyed about the porridge in the morning but it takes a special kind of anger towards your child to store it in the fridge all day, waiting for the moment they come home from school so you can make them eat it. You think at some point during the day, you would open the fridge, see the cold porridge, think 'what am I doing?', bin it and welcome your child home with love. Sadly, she never did, but she was a very unhappy lady.

Please do not make food a battleground with your children, it is not a fight worth winning. Most people's tastes mature as they age, and things they dislike as a child they may well like in future. This will happen regardless of whether you force them to eat it as a child.

I'm quite staggered at the fucked up attitudes towards food there are here.

The child's bad behaviour was the problem here, the beetroot was really neither here nor there. You just say 'fine, leave it, but if you don't stop behaving like that you're leaving the table'.

Nobody has ever been glad they had to eat a bit of beetroot they didn't much fancy as a six year old. And no parent has ever gone to sleep at night thinking 'that was a good day's parenting: she really didn't want that beetroot but it went down her gullet anyway. Well done me, I think we are clear who is the tin pot dictator boss in this house.'