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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have put dd's dinner in the bin?

869 replies

greenwheelie · 18/06/2012 18:27

Dinner tonight - scampi, potato wedges and salad. I put some chunks of beetroot in the salad. DD2(6) anounced she hates beetroot. I told her she could eat one piece only. We have always had the rule (dd is 3rd child) that you have to try everything on the plate.

My Mum and Dad are here for the evening. DD sat and cried, fake-coughed and kept shouting that she was going to be sick. We ignore her for a while, then I said if she couldn't be quiet and eat then she would have to leave the room. She continued so I told her to go. After 5 minutes she was quiet so I asked her to come back and join us. She immediately started the drama again. I told her she was spoiling the dinner for all of us and if she didn't stop that would be the end of her meal. She got a piece of beetroot on her fork and waved it around, crying and coughing. So I took her food away and sent her out. The food is now in the bin and dd is in bed.

My parents are now saying I am like an army general and that dd will be hungry. Was I being unreasonable and AIBU to feel very unsupported in trying to discipline a strong-willed child?

OP posts:
Original poster
greenwheelie · 18/06/2012 22:21

Again just to say mealtimes are not a battleground for us - just today! My kids are great eaters and we love cooking and eating together.

DD had a tantrum today which started over eating a bit of beetroot but got out of control and the natural consequence was her leaving the table. Could have been about anything, but today it happened to be about food.

OP posts:
QuickLookBusy · 18/06/2012 22:21

I apologise greenwheelie

usualsuspect · 18/06/2012 22:22

No one could make me like celery or bananas

Sunshine401 · 18/06/2012 22:23

lol some of you are funny :)
Beetroot bedtime I can see how that links :)

Original poster
greenwheelie · 18/06/2012 22:23

No problem quicklookbusy.

I realise most people who have responded don't agree with what I did. Just depends who responds though.

OP posts:
WithACherryOnTop · 18/06/2012 22:24

Perhaps so,if it was mixed in food,and was a tiny quantity,but I've no trouble spotting parmesan on top of food. There's no mistaking it. It tastes exactly like vomit to me,thanks to the butyric acid it contains,and therefore forcing it down would be just as pleasurable,as forcing down vomit.

notyummy · 18/06/2012 22:25

I think there are a fair few on here that do agree that having a rule that children try a new food is perfectly reasonable. And sensible. And will lead to a child who go to others houses and at least try the food they are offered.

Forced to eat something you hate - bit harsh IMO. But a rule that says you can't decide that you don't like food until you have tried it just seems like common sense....because rationally, how can you? I like the idea of 'kissing' the food that someone suggested up thread.

getupgo · 18/06/2012 22:26

voddie - watching too much tv, or setting the boundary of a regular bedtime does not in any way compare to a small human being having to ingest beetroot, just because a larger more dictatorial human being tells her to

voddiekeepsmesane · 18/06/2012 22:26

Actually supergah you will find that there is a good split on this thread. Like I have said many times forcing is not the answer but encouragement is AFAIAK

Original poster
greenwheelie · 18/06/2012 22:26

Good quality parmesan doesn't take like vomit.

I can't imagine my dcs kissing food. They're a cynical lot.

OP posts:
Sunshine401 · 18/06/2012 22:26

I think you can safely say that the whole situation could of been avoided but as it wasnt it hapened so tomorrow is another day live and learn :)

Original poster
greenwheelie · 18/06/2012 22:26

taste like vomit, obviously

OP posts:
Sparks1 · 18/06/2012 22:27

Perhaps so,if it was mixed in food,and was a tiny quantity,but I've no trouble spotting parmesan on top of food. There's no mistaking it. It tastes exactly like vomit to me,thanks to the butyric acid it contains,and therefore forcing it down would be just as pleasurable,as forcing down vomit.

Well no, if it were a butyric acid reaction you'd have it anyway. Which is why it's your perception. Which is exactly what this thread illustrates. Some parents are brave enough to shape their child's palettes, others wimp out and make excuses.

Original poster
greenwheelie · 18/06/2012 22:28

I did wonder what I would do/say if dd got up and said she was starving. But she is sound asleep, so obvioulsy hasn't suffered for missing her dinner.

OP posts:
voddiekeepsmesane · 18/06/2012 22:28

K OK I have *not and never said that standing over a child telling them what to do is the answer and that encouragement works all the way. But on the other hand having a child dictate what to eat etc is not the answer either

quirrelquarrel · 18/06/2012 22:29

do it, because I said so" lol REALLY!! What kind of answer is that. Thats horrid !

Depends on the tone, the face and the intent, obviously. "Because I said so" is the parent's prerogative. See....there's a whole book about it.
This is how a lot of French parents behave towards their kids.....this is why a lot of French kids aren't spoilt pernickety brats (disclaimer: am not saying the OP's kid is a brat!).

I got to like many more foods by being made to eat them. I don't think this means I have control "issues".

Marquis de Sade answer is in v. bad taste! bloody hell.
What exactly was wrong with what I said?

WithACherryOnTop · 18/06/2012 22:29

Sorry it does taste like vomit to me.It all contains butyric acid.I don't care how good quality or expensive it is.It still tastes like that substance.As does papaya while we're on the subject.

And that's the last time I'm going to use the v word in this thread again,unless you make me.Grin

notyummy · 18/06/2012 22:29

Think the kissing thing is probably more for toddlers, no? Get them used to the idea that they should try everything on their plate rather than leave it too late and have some picky 6/7 year old who won't try anything new because they have never been expected to.

voddiekeepsmesane · 18/06/2012 22:29

setting the boundry of tasting a small amount of a new food (even a teeny tiny first taste) without causing a scene at the table is not outside the realm of good parenting either.

TheTeaPig · 18/06/2012 22:30

greenwheelie I agree with you and I have DC who as a result of my not making a huge fuss and simply removing their food -eat
They dont poke their food,whine,tantrum or try to manipulate me.
Sometimes as a parent you have to do something they wont like .tough

Sunshine401 · 18/06/2012 22:31

It is actually starting to scare me the amount of people on here stating they would force a child to eat somthing.
Can somone tell me what is wrong with a child a little human being have a choice in what they eat?? Is there somthing i am missing??

topknob · 18/06/2012 22:31

Just to add in here, I was forced to eat things as a kid I did not like, lamb being one of those things. I do not even contemplate buying it now, so my kids have never eaten it. I would never force a child of mine to eat something they didn't like, or like the look of, as I have been that child and I do not want my kids throwing up in the toilet after dinner as I did x

notyummy · 18/06/2012 22:31

The French thing is v true! They would be aghast at some of the tree hugging lefties on this thread Wink.

WithACherryOnTop · 18/06/2012 22:32

Could you be anymore smug,Sparks? You know that you can do everything 'right' and still wind up with a fussy eater. It's not all down to how marvellous the parents are you know.

I have a friend who used the exact same 'techniques' with all 3 of her children.She has one who eats just about everything,one who is average in that respect,and one who eats about seven foods.Where did she go wrong I wonder?

getupgo · 18/06/2012 22:34

yes voddie, but the beetroot in question was not new. OP already knew DD wasnt a fan. but persisted, bit the bait of the tantrum, and DD ended up with no dinner. Bizarre. Night everyone

I will never look at beetroot in the same way again Grin