AIBU to think that women should not have to be discreet when breastfeeding?

[lalaland3008]

I'm not saying that anyone should purposely flop both boobs out into someones dinner. But it makes me really mad that some people think women should have to be discreet when feeding their baby, sit in a corner or breastfeeding 'booth'.

I also think a breast is just not comparable to a penis to a vagina and if people are offended because they see breasts as purely sexual then that is their own problem.

Noone would object to me sitting in public drinking my coffee or feeding my baby a bottle of cows milk yet people find breastmilk offensive.

I'm not bitty mad I lasted 2 weeks breastfeeding but it still makes my blood boil that it is seen as controversial by many.

AIBU?

IMO, people who bristle at the sight of a breastfeeding mum in public don't generally do it because of the risk of an offensive "nipple glimpse" - after all, the majority of people have perfectly good working necks that will allow them to look in another direction.

I think people who bristle at the sight do it because it is an unwelcome reminder to them that breasts aren't simply about sex, they are as much about nurturing.

And no, breastfeeding is not comparable to pissing or shitting in public (I roll my eyes at this constant comparison too). Show me one person who has to piss or shit for at least 40 minutes every 2-3 hours, and I'll show you someone who needs to see a dcotor.

Well tbh when they're tiny and it's your first time bf you sometimes do
When an older baby pops off to grin at an old lady or demand a go on the Peppa Pig ride, yuo do
I have been bf for 5 years, and still occasionally flash nipple (or did - only bf DD at bedtime now). It's really not a big deal, and if we continue to perpetuate the myth it is then bf in public will just be another source of stress. Ideally I'd prefer the whole of sainsbury's cafe to have not seen my nipple, but in the grand scheme of things, I don't really care,

@ TheBigBangFairy

Stealth don't you think that once you have the confidence then it won't bother peopke as much, just get them trying it.

And no, breastfeeding is not comparable to pissing or shitting in public (I roll my eyes at this constant comparison too)

And I roll my eyes at deliberate obtuseness - what other function that we perform on/by/with our sexual appendages do we do in public?

Do you speak with your mouth?

Do you speak with your mouth?

That's being even more obtuse.

I wave with my hands...

I gasp use my tongue to lick... ice lollies! I've even done this in front of my poor impressionable DS. Call SS now.

OK, then explain it to me.
Why are breasts primarily sexual and mouths not?

Meh - if you were right there wouldn't be a problem. There is a problem, therefore you are not right. Deliberate obtuseness is not an argument.

eh?
Ever considered that maybe we are right?

Ever considered that maybe we are right?

If you were, this thread would not exist. Ergo....

At my antenatal classes someone asked about feeding and public. The HV suggested you could feed in your car. That'll be handy as I don't drive.

Feeding in public

So because a squeamish minority think that breastfeeding mothers must hide themselves in a toilet to feed their babies, all so that the haunting vision doesn't put them off their sex later that evening, they must be right?

If someone has a problem, it doesn't make them right. It means just that - they have a problem i.e. it's their problem.

Tbh I don't care about fighting for tge cause. I'd rather help women feel comfortable in how to feed in a way that makes them confident and enables them to continue for as long as they would like too.

LOL, halcyon - perhaps you should find a handy bus to feed in!

There was a brilliant post on one of these threads recently. Blokes can walk around with their tops off in summer/on building sites and nobody bats an eyelid. If a woman was walking around topless, there would be an outcry (although I have seen it at the seaside). Surely, since women's chests are the ones which actually have a function other than being pretty and/or sexual, it should be the opposite way around!

So because a squeamish minority

"Minority" is your heroic assumption, its not a given.

And as we choose to do all our other functions with our sexual appendages in private, I'd argue that its more likely its a majority who are "squeamish".

Which is why IMO it is better to be discreet, its just basic consideration for others.

YANBU

There is an almost automatic caveat when people talk about when/where/why to bf .....'Go for it...as long as you do it discreetly'

Er no - you may wish to cover up for any number of reasons, but surely we should be working towards a developed world where bf is considered the normal, natural way of feeding a baby. When you would no more need to be discreet about giving a bf than giving a bottle.

My breastfeeding breasts are frighteningly enormous (I was a GG before getting pregnant) and DD, even at 5 months old, simply does not have a big enough head to allow me to feed in a manner that some people would consider 'discreet'. I don't wave it around or anything, but if you look you're going to see some flesh. For this reason I long ago decided that if it was making other people uncomfortable then that's a shame, but they can turn their heads away. I can't shrink my boobs.

So basically YANBU. And I wish I was a C cup to comfort the sensibilities of the squeamish.

Mabli just take blankets with you to cover up

The faces of the squeamish ;)

Oh wow check out that sexy tongue. Bleeding heck check out those sexy hands. Oh my what a sexy mouth. Boy oh boy oh boy what a load of crap.

(O)(O) and (!) are seen as sexy by society, hence Miss wet T shirt competions and rear of the year. I've never heard of mouth of the year (but I could nominate a few)

I'm being facetious.

Religion also tells women to cover up.

Are we forgetting mutual consideration here? Or do only the mother and baby have a right to be considered and not other members of public?

Well Tbh if its between a child being fed and a few garment clutching grown adults having the vapors then yes, its all about the child. The adults can get a grip and bury their faces in the sun so they don't see any scary breasts.

And in fairness I must add that IME most grown adults do exactly that. Men, women, old, young, parents, not, breastfeeding, bottle feeding, covered from head to foot or wearing a bikini, the vast majority of other people don't give you a second glance. Of those that do, the majority want to smile or say something nice. Then the people who disapprove always seem to do it on someone else's behalf. I've never known anyone to say "i find your breasts offensive / a turn on" when I'm bf. Ever.

Recently my neighbour was chatting with me and she asked whether I bf in public as apparently her daughter, who works in a pub, and the other pub staff, were revolted that a mother had come in and bf her baby whilst having lunch with a friend. I said yes I do bf in public.

It's sad that people would be revolted by bf.