AIBU to think that women should not have to be discreet when breastfeeding?

[lalaland3008]

I'm not saying that anyone should purposely flop both boobs out into someones dinner. But it makes me really mad that some people think women should have to be discreet when feeding their baby, sit in a corner or breastfeeding 'booth'.

I also think a breast is just not comparable to a penis to a vagina and if people are offended because they see breasts as purely sexual then that is their own problem.

Noone would object to me sitting in public drinking my coffee or feeding my baby a bottle of cows milk yet people find breastmilk offensive.

I'm not bitty mad I lasted 2 weeks breastfeeding but it still makes my blood boil that it is seen as controversial by many.

AIBU?

Really lala? So would you like to eat your dinner in a public loo? Why should we have to make our babies do that?
Personally I do try to be discreet when feeding my dd (4mo) although sometimes she makes it a bit difficult

I do disagree with people that say that breasts are not sexual and that their purpose is to feed children. My breasts are sexual and also fed my DD. They can multi task, bless them. Evolutionarily it may be that they replaced bums as the visible sexual characteristic. We started walking on two legs, bums stopped being in the eye line, breasts got all big and fun to look at. They wouldn't need to be all soft and big otherwise, they would just look like male chests.

Having said that, men should also be able to multi task just like my norks and say, "yum, boobs" when they see breasts doing duty as secondary sexual characteristics and "aww, baby eating" when they see them doing time as milk producing miracles. It isn't hard.

YANBU by the way, although I suspect the majority of women would want to be discrete, but there is a big different between being discrete and going to a public toilet or any where else 'out of sight' to feed.

If if you weren't talking to them about it their bizarre opinions would live in their little minds harming no-one. Giving people a voice about this kind of thing is a mistake.

focus on empowering woman to be able to feed where ever and how ever they please and eventually it will be normal.. focus on speaking to people who aren't breastfeeding about how they feel about it and all you are doing is making their opinions count.

I get really hmm at the way a lot of breastfeeding mothers feel like the world is against them.

I agree... breastfeeding is natural.

Same goes with the blanket over their heads/your shoulder... Would you eat with a blanket over your head?

The only time nursing bugged me, is when I lovingly watched a friend breastfeed, as the four of us were playing cards... Well, the baby unlatched, and she didn't BOTHER to cover herself up... left her nipple/breast fully exposed, as her baby slept in her arms... That bugged me as it made everyone playing cards uncomfortable....including me...

Breast feed, GREAT...but please tuck your boob back in when your done! lol

If a woman sat in a cafe with no top on, and no baby, people would wonder why she was baring her breasts. They would stare at her, because it isnt the tradition in this country to sit topless in a cafe.

If there was no baby there it would be seen as sexual, and no doubt classed as indecent exposure. If there was a baby there, it wouldnt.

However, breasts ARE a sexual part of the body to many people, men and women, so a woman showing her breasts, even if breastfeeding may make others feel uncomfortable in a public area where everyone else is fully clothed.

I see plenty of women in cafes who are feeding their babies, but they are covered up, nothing is on display, and nobody feels uncomfortable.

Breastfeeding should not be discrete. It should be continuous for as long as both mother and child are happy.

One for the mathematicians

Only ever hear these views on mumsnet, in rl i only hear of positive or non opinions... as in not negative, just couldnt careless about the subject.

MrsTerryPratchett Brill post!!

I think it would be very strange if a woman sat in a cafe and took her top and bra off. I imagine everyone would stare. I also think, but could be wrong, that lots of BF women would rather be a bit more discreet and use a scarf/ muslin square/sit in the corner. I know I will be at least until I am confident.

I don't think 'men leer'. Thats a bit of a controversial statement IMO.

Women are discreet because they want to be. I never saw a woman breastfeeding in public until I was pregnant and started looking at babies, only then did I notice a few were attached to their mothers. Most women are fairly modest, especially after childbirth and they want to keep their boobs private.

Personally I think that those who want or need to 'flap them around', should be entitled to, I've never met any mother who wanted to expose herself in public though so I can't imagine many takers.

most men wouldnt leer, but they would probably feel as though they had to keep their head turned away or look down at their coffee if it was in a cafe, just incase they were accused of leering....

However, breasts ARE a sexual part of the body to many people, men and women, so a woman showing her breasts, even if breastfeeding may make others feel uncomfortable in a public area where everyone else is fully clothed

I agree - not everyone else wants to see it, its common courtesy therefore IMO.

I agree... breastfeeding is natural.

That is a non-argument - in fact, for most "natural" functions we do, we do them very discreetly.

Breastfeeding should not be discrete. It should be continuous for as long as both mother and child are happy

Very good - but, does that theorem bear up to repeated examination ;-)

I do it anywhere and loads of people have seen my boobs and nipples.I really couldnt care less its in most peoples heads imo.

YANBU. I have rather big knockers and both of my babies were tiny so I couldn't help but showing quite abit of skin. I was never bothered though and was soon getting them out everywhere and anywhere. If I hadn't done that my first born wouldn't have been breastfed as he fed so often and I was the national milk bar.

I am a fairly discreet breastfeeder and I have breastfed my DCs just about everywhere!

But YANBU, people should not have to be discreet about this they should be doing it with pride!

I would love to see more other mums doing what is natural without hiding away in shame.

I dont know of any mothers who hide away in "shame". I know plenty who have consideration for others around them in a public place who may feel uncomfortable with a strangers breasts being on display, and would make an effort to be "discreet" about it.

I agree that women should be able to bf in public, but I do think you have to be discreet. Feeding in any public place should be acceptable as long as you're not flashing loads of flesh.

not unreasonable. just correct.

I'm a first time mum, she's just 3 weeks old and yesterday I bf for the first time in public.....I felt very proud of myself afterwards. There was a man lurking however, stood for 5 mins at the head of our table staring, weirdo or maybe he was just marvelling in the Madonna and child impression that we were doing! Our table was at the bottom of the restaurant/pub with nobody else around, his table was at the complete opposite end, so you do get lurkers! But as my mum pointed out I have a magnificent pair and we are a magnificent pair so people will bask in our glow!

YANBU. Nobody says bottlefeeding mothers should be discreet about how much bottle is on show.

They aren't being used as a sexual object at the time, so anyone who is associating them with that when a baby is there is the odd one. Whatever is easiest and most comfortable for the nursing pair is right, and sod everyone else.

Especially considering how distractable older babies are, or if they go to sleep feeding they may wake up if you try and more their head off the breast to cover it up.

*move