AIBU to wonder why women move to the passenger seat.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

Twice recently I have seen women, presumably picking up their OH from work, get out of the driver's side door, walk around the vehicle and get in the passenger side. The man then gets in the driver's side and drives away. If I had seen men swapping to the passenger side as well it wouldn't make me wonder. I would assume that whomever likes to drive takes over. I can't think of a single time I have seen a man do this.

In our house, I am the main driver because I love driving and DH isn't fussed. I'm not so bothered about it that I would swap over if he was picking me up from somewhere though. Why bother messing with the mirrors and seat? It irks me because it smacks of the man taking the helm from the little woman now he is on deck IYSWIM.

Yes, I know this is a first world problem and it is none of my business.

That's fair enough, same goes for pita driving jobs like evening pick ups/drop offs of teenage DC.

Although those are not examples of where the sacrifice or effort involved is in actually doing the driving. In your example it's the not drinking - and in mine it's being the one who gives up their time to transport the DC.

MRs TP, I was one of those girls. I love cars, I know more about cars than most men I know. I can fix more car problems than my DH. I loved them as a kid too, the only thing dolls were good for was riding model horses and riding in model cars. I used to build all sorts of model cars, planes and ships. It drove me mad when people assumed that I would prefer something pink and frilly over legos or other building toys.

And perhaps it's no surprise that I am the primary driver in my house, I love driving, it relaxes me and it's almost meditative. Even long drives (it's 300 miles to my nearest relatives) are something I love to do. My DH would rather not drive if possible. I think if he never drove again he'd be happy. So it works great! I even drive his car, a huge monster of a thing (of course, I have to drive it to pull the horses too) most of the time.

I never understood why so many women think they aren't good drivers, when really they are just as good as most men.

I should also say that my mom is a much better driver than my dad and she does most of the driving there too!

I wonder how many of thaws decisive, masterful, skilful , confident drivers suddenly turn into bumbling helpless fools when asked to cook a meal for their children.......

I think I am at least as good a driver than my DH, but I would much rather sleep or read, or gaze around!

I love cars, I drive, I loathe being driven.
DH will get out of the drivers seat and let me drive as it makes his life easier.

I am a terrible passenger. No matter who is driving. (except for me, as I am the perfect driver IMO )

I do it so I don't have to drive, can't be arsed, as I do 140 miles to work and back each day anyway. DH knows that and although I am probably the better driver, he is happy to step in so I can file my nails or look out of the window or whatever. His nickname in this house is 'Jeeves'.

Toxic glad to hear there is hope for DD yet. I will encourage her to make the baby dolls drive (rather than bashing their heads against tables like at the moment).

I totally get why some women won't drive because they just don't want to. I don't get women who won't stand up to their partners when they criticise their driving.

I have been driving for 32 years. When OH says things like "you should have pulled out then" I just say "that's because you are an impatient driver" It doesn't undermine my self confidence in the slightest. I drive at my pace and drives at his (faster). Guess who has points on their licence (smug)

It irritates the hell out of me that women let their partners walk all over them when it comes to driving. It also saddens me that they can't be more self assertive and stand up to any criticism.

DH occasionally criticises my driving but the response it usually to invite him to get out of the car and walk home.

We share a car but DH tends to have it for work as I car share with a colleague. If I need the car for something then I'll tend to take him to work first but it tends to him that drives to his work and then me Onwards to my work. This is normally because the car is set for him seat and mirror wise as he drive the previous night.
Normally when I pick him up after work I'll continue driving but sometimes I just really can't be arsed to drive anymore so I switch and let him drive. Plus I like to mumsnet look at the scenery during the 30 minute journey

DH has been driving 19 years to my 4 years but he doesn't seem to judge my driving if he's a passenger. If anything I tell him to do things differently, mainly because there was more emphasis on Eco driving when I learnt than when he did.

Dh never criticises my driving, ever even though I really am shit at it. The simple fact is that I have very poor eyesight and find driving a strain on my eyes, so I do not enjoy it.

I am always the one who drives at night, though, as I am much less likely to fall asleep at the wheel. Or rather was, before dc. Now I probably would fall asleep at the wheel if we ever went out at night, but we don't, so that's not such an issue I guess....

We don't swap.

I find it interesting that we each accuse the other of being late to brake, and of going to near to parked cars etc.

He crunches the door handle when I drive and I put my foot through the floor when he does

I think the passenger seat affects one's judgement...

Thing is Bunbaker l couldnt care less who drives - him or me. Also l did always stand up to criticism as stated in my post when he went into 'driving instructor' mode. Told him in no uncertain terms many a time to wind his neck in. Plus it obviously pains him much more than me that l will never drive my car in his company (l cant drive his anyway) as he always asks me why not and tries to persuade me. He obviously feels really bad about it as he knows why not.

Well I'm buggered if I'll let DH drive. Unless I've broken both legs and somehow also lost both arms in a horrific butchers shop accident, there is no way on Earth I'd let DH behind the wheel.

He's okay at driving but is German and fucking embarrassing on roundabouts. It makes me into a really bitchy backseat driver.

I LOVE driving. I drive big trucks across Europe, drive weird old bangers, go up green lanes and through snow... Just love it. I want to do rally driving but can't afford it.

DH likes sitting in the passenger seat and eating Haribo.

We're both happy.

Seeker, I'm pretty sure you're talking about those male masterful drivers, but as heck of a masterful driver myself, and I'm a pretty good cook. Not as creative as DH, but I do make an incredible babka! Baking is more my thing. I'm currently teaching DSD how to bake.

Oh, and I can even sew my fingers together buttons back on clothes!

We both take turns. On percentage of time I think I actually drive him around more.

And we are both terrible passengers lol

( 1 manual/ 1 automatic, we switch easily)

DP wouldn't dare criticise my driving - he taught me :o !

However, my DBro can criticise all he wants - in fact, I insist on it. He is a fireman and has done all kinds of advanced driving courses, as well as being a member of an advanced motorist organisation. When he is in the car with me I see it as a free driving lesson :o

my mum loves driving & always drives. My SIL only passed her test 18 months a ago & also always drives (she doesn't really enjoy it but is building up her confidence/experience - db has been the only driver for most of the 18 years they've been together & got fed up with it).

dh & I share long drives - I usually do the familiar bit since he is really bad at giving direction but I'm good at it (therefore we don't get lost/shout at each other). For short drives dh usually drives - I drive during the week & he has a pleasant train commute ... I figure I've done my bit. tbh we try to us the car as little as possible. He never backseat drives though - I'm a safer/better driver than him.

perhaps safer is overstating actually ;) I prefer my way - he's never had an accident but has points for speeding (all when he's been n his own in the car).

thank you for the people who responded to my post but you have the wrond end of the stick.

He is a poor anxious nervous passenger, who shouts out and worries about all our safety. but he compromises our safety when he does it, so i dont drive. that is our way of dealing with him. i dont 'stand' for it, i avoid the situation, which makes the whole family happy. He knows on a fundimental level that i'm a safe driver, but he is an experienced driver, who has spent years on a bike and working for a courrier and has spent THOUSANDS of hours on the road, and he has seen some stupid actions, by men and women drivers equally. This makes him Anxious and worried for his family.

its not something he can control, he is genuinely terrified. i refute the comment that he is a dick. He isnt he is lovely.

If it helps he does it when his dad drives (ive ever been in a car with him and anyone else driving) BUT his dad is deaf and cannot hear the comments therefore safety isnt compromised.

he doesnt try and stop me driving ( cos i wouldnt put up with that) he doesnt check up on me that i have left and arrived at the right time. its only a problem for him when someone other than him is driving a car.

I'm a considerate wife who would rather not see the strong hansome kind man i love reduced to a nervous wreck over summat he cant control!

i love my DH.....

In response to the op, to get a rest.

Matey thanks for the clarification. Your DH has his own issues but a lot of the other DHs on here seem to be arsey and controlling not anxious and phobic. I think that is why people assume the worst.

FWIW, I do think there is a difference between someone who hates anyone else driving and someone who just hates their DW, or any woman driving. I do still think there is an assumption which insurance companies oddly didn't share that men are better drivers. Don't get me wrong I have seen some horrible female driving but I have also seen a lot of horrible male driving.

my ex partner seemed to think that the reason why men had accidents was becuase the woman caused the accident by doing summat stupid, but was able to drive on oblivious, and the men had to deal with the consequences of the womans actions and were caught up in the mess she left behind.

Now he became an EX for a reason!

I 'caused' one of those once. I had to do an emergency stop and the men in the two cars behind me were under the impression that stopping distances are something that happen to other people. They blamed me for the accident. The law blamed them.