AIBU to wonder why women move to the passenger seat.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

Twice recently I have seen women, presumably picking up their OH from work, get out of the driver's side door, walk around the vehicle and get in the passenger side. The man then gets in the driver's side and drives away. If I had seen men swapping to the passenger side as well it wouldn't make me wonder. I would assume that whomever likes to drive takes over. I can't think of a single time I have seen a man do this.

In our house, I am the main driver because I love driving and DH isn't fussed. I'm not so bothered about it that I would swap over if he was picking me up from somewhere though. Why bother messing with the mirrors and seat? It irks me because it smacks of the man taking the helm from the little woman now he is on deck IYSWIM.

Yes, I know this is a first world problem and it is none of my business.

"It just seems so pointed and like the 'normal' driver in the family can't stand to be driven for even 5 minutes by the 'normal' passenger."

these are your assumptions
its as likely that the normal passenger cant stand to drive for even 5 more mins if they don't have to!
My DH has never complained about me driving and is a lovely passenger, I complain about me driving and am happier being a passenger... in any car but I only share a car with my DH

Oh god- this is a bugbear of mine! We swap because dp has a slipped disc and driving means he moves his feet and his back doesn't hurt when he gets out. But I want to wave a massive banner saying "no, he is not a dick and no I am not a little woman" every time.

But all this- oh he's a terrible back seat driver, I swap to keep the peace -makes me seeth! Don't move - tell him to behave like a civilised human being!!!

I was raised by a militant, scary, 70s-style feminist. Lots of things that have no bearing on me and I have no real idea about make me cross .

I do think that things that are just 'around' affect us all though. If my DD always sees men driving, always hears that women can't park, always sees male professional drivers, hears "women drivers" with an eye roll will it affect her?

There are a lot of male passengers spoken about on this thread who are PA about it and make the female driver feel bad. Not all, by any means and I take your points on board. However, there are still assumptions about female drivers and who 'should' drive.

Also, MN would fall into the sea if we all minded our own.

My husband happily leaps out of the driving seat. He hates driving, I love it. He reckons I'm a better driver than him too, he may have his faults but he ain't no chauvinist.

If I pick my old man up from work I drive the rest of the way home and vice versa. Never really considered it any other way.

Blimey! I didn't realise that DH always driving when we're going somewhere together had that much of an effect on people!
I'll have to pay attention next time, see if I spot a few looks of anger, dispair or pity. It could be fun!

mop his brow and feed him a grape if you see one catus!

I HATE my DP driving...scares me...always has... he hogs the middle line, and we've gone to saying he's just like "Pac-man".... I am constantly looking out the side window, closing my eyes...hate..hate...hate him driving.

It doesn't bother me to see a swap...but no, I have never seen a guy swap for the passengers seat!! In my case, it's because I'm kicking my DP out of the drivers seat!!!!

Absolutely, mrs TP. I lost count of the "oh, he's such a back seat driver, it's so much easier if I let him drive"

No. He's a dick. Tell him to stop being a dick.

Monkey: will do! And maybe a little wave for the angry despairing ones!

"because it smacks of the man taking the helm from the little woman now he is on deck IYSWIM."

What's wrong with that?

Don't know what IYSWIM means though.

"This is a first world problem..."

Don't know what that means either..

I know even in my generation it seems to be bloke normally drives, woman normally passenger, but as I don't know people who drive much I haven't seen the swap thing.

In our household MrNC usually drives, partly because he'd been driving for 10 years before I met him and then I only got my licence after we'd been together a few years, so he can drive automatically but I have to think about it and be very awake (like what I'm not now I have a young baby...) Also he is terrible at navigating, whereas I'm excellent at it, even when I'm asleep and get poked and asked which way at some junction! Unlike the satnav.

He's a bit of an anxious passenger as apart from me he's only been a passenger for his dad who is an ex-rally driver, drives like a maniac, and is the only driver to ever make me carsick! However he does keep his mouth shut after I told him once to shut up or get out, but the clutching the doorhandle is annoying...

I try to drive more now as ds referring to 'Daddy's car' gets on my wick, and ds aged 3 doesn't understand the vital role of navigation...

With my parents, my mum used to drive more as my dad hated driving, but then my dad got used to driving overseas and got given a lovely company car to keep after retirement, and then my mum crashed it three times into inanimate objects and thankfully gave up driving (she was just as bad beforehand!), so dad does it all now. So ds refers to 'Grandpa's car', but at least that's accurate.

Given how most women are in relationships with somewhat older men, most men will have more driving experience than their partner, leading to this skew I think. And that's before the difference in how many men get driving lessons for their 17th birthday compared to women and how many men/women get a licence at the same age.

Euphemia- exactly. And if for some reason he become unable to drive?

CatholocDad- you are joking, obviously.

I always get dh to drive, I usually have my kindle in my bag so get some reading time in while dd is safely strapped in the back and I actually have nothing to do.

I do loads of driving with work and visiting friends so can't really be bothered driving unless I have to.

We don't swap on the rare occasion I pick DH up from the station, that would just be pointless.

He does do most of the driving if we are driving a long distance though (we tend to drive to holiday destinations) - we share the driving if necessary but if he feels fine to drive he drives the whole thing, mostly he'll drive 2/3 and I'll drive 1/3.

The discrepancy is partly because like another poster I didn't pass my test til I was 25, whilst he passed his at 18, so he has years more experience. It is also because I like to go to sleep in the car if the kids are asleep too - I think I get the better deal driving wise and wouldn't fight to change it for the worse one!

We have 2 cars due to living in the middle of nowhere with 3 small kids and no public transport except the school bus, so the kids say "Mummy's car" (the big one which is used for almost everything as far as they are concerned) and "Daddy's car" (the little budget Skoda he only really drives the 6 miles or so to the station and back each day), so I see no problem there either :)

It would work in reverse for me and dh. I drive everywhere when we're together and you'd easily see the swap the other way. We're happier like that.

I do it. I will happily swap with whoever I am picking up, though, not just dh. But most people aren't insured to drive our car so you are more likely to see me doing it with dh than with anyone else....

I don't mind driving, but I'd rather someone else did it TBH - so if DH wants to drive, he does (unless we're on a rare night out and it's his turn to have a pint, of course).

We normally share the driving but the one time I did pick up my dh from work and get out of the drivers seat was when I was in labour... I said you'd better drive and only told him why when we were on our way!

I do it because it makes sense. I pick DS up from nursery as his nursery is next to my office but if I need to go to an evening professional event it's usually a mad dash across town to pick up DH (he usually walks home) swap seats then he drives me into town, drops me at my event (or more likely when stopping at the lights somewhere near in the city centre) and then drives the car & DS home.
If not we generally drive our own cars or if going on a long trip share 50/50 unless my hips playing up then I tend to not drive as much.

I swap seats because I don't really like driving. My DH on the other hand enjoys driving. It suits us both when I move into the passenger seat.

I am also very lazy and love being in charge of the iPod!

I can't believe people still swap like this. It used to be standard at the station when I was a child in a commuter town in the 70s but I remember being surprised by it even then. Perhaps because my mum drove and my dad didn't so it never happened in our family.

DH and I have both been driving for 30 years and have always split driving equally, swapping halfway on long journeys. I have dreadful night vision so DH tends to do the night driving but if it's the case that we'll be returning from somewhere in the dark I always do the outward journey. I would be mortified and insulted if he expected me to vacate the driving seat so that he could drive. And yes, he is a bad passenger, but I expect him to learn to control that, not to use it as an excuse to get his own way.

Seeker

Joking about what?