AIBU to wonder why women move to the passenger seat.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

Twice recently I have seen women, presumably picking up their OH from work, get out of the driver's side door, walk around the vehicle and get in the passenger side. The man then gets in the driver's side and drives away. If I had seen men swapping to the passenger side as well it wouldn't make me wonder. I would assume that whomever likes to drive takes over. I can't think of a single time I have seen a man do this.

In our house, I am the main driver because I love driving and DH isn't fussed. I'm not so bothered about it that I would swap over if he was picking me up from somewhere though. Why bother messing with the mirrors and seat? It irks me because it smacks of the man taking the helm from the little woman now he is on deck IYSWIM.

Yes, I know this is a first world problem and it is none of my business.

I did this yesterday because I had a banging headache but I had a look round first to see if anyone saw me do it. Then I saw this thread

Another with a DH who is a bad backseat driver.

However, last week on holiday, he willingly relinquished the helm to me on a few occasions - literally. It turns out I'm better at steering a narrowboat through a tunnel than he is, and he was happy to butt out for a change!

I swap because I'm lazy, and would rather be a passenger. I like looking out of the windows and daydreaming.

I occasionally do this if we are driving on to somewhere further away than home when I pick DH up from work. My main reason for doing so is that DH is a very nervous passenger, following a car accident 11 years ago in which we were both passengers and his arm was broken in 4 places. If we're going straight home or only a short distance when I pick him up then I drive him and he is fine with it. I'm only too happy to let him do the long-distance driving - I feel like I spend half my life in the car what with school and preschool runs of several miles each way in the morning, at midday and in the afternoon along with all the other running-round I do.

if you had a webcam in our car you might well see me relinquish the wheel to let my DW drive

because

• I don't really like driving when my DW is in the car, as it generates a stream of instructions. Sometimes it's just more peaceful if she drives.

• I am better map-reader (although when it comes to simply remembering the way around places, she is better - so no gender stereotyping here)

I wouldn't switch over because if he comes from work he might like a bit of a breather, wouldn't ask him to drive straight away.

On the whole he drives more when we go somewhere togehter, I think I should offer to drive a bit more. Quite like just sitting on the passenger seat relaxing.

I'm the main driver too and also think it's weird to get out and swap seats, whoever it is really, man or woman. Unless you are a driving instructor picking up a student, then it's different

My DH is a terrible backseat driver too. I now refuse to drive him anywhere, he is welcome to it. Leaves me free to control the music which is good because I have far better taste in music.

Krumbum that's not my experience at all. Couple who own car usually sit in front seats and other couple in back. Unless other couple are old or parents or something then we would offer front seat to one of them to be polite.

My DH prefers to drive if he is in the car (

Oh will always try and get out of driving.
He used to exclaim and gasp and point out my mistakes.
Then I told him to stfu or drive himself.
So he bites his lip nowadays.

Apparently he feels sick sitting in the passenger seat but not if he drives. This sickness doesnt affect him do much if we go to friends and he has a drink, he is quite happy for me to drive home. Which means that I don't get to drink ( not that I'm a big drinker but I didnt drink through my pregnancy or through two years of bf so I would occasionally like the opportunity to do so). So now if he wants to drive somewhere I have started insisting he drives back too.

I never get to do this- if he could get away with it DH would never drive anywhere. Bah.

These men who insist on driving - do they also take over the BBQing but are lazy bastards in the kitchen?

Wouldn't swap here, however he does usually drive. Not sure why, possibly because I tend to opt for walking and he the car. When I do drive he doesn't comment on my driving at all.

Reading though this thread it seems like a lot of men have to drive, and those that are bad passengers, why are they like that?

Do they comment on other people's driving normally?

Or is it just that they think they are better drivers than their partners and therefore critise as it should be them driving.

Those that have to be the driver / bad passenger seem to be in a similar mind frame

Blackcats: Since you're asking, yes, he is the one usually in charge of BBQing, and no he is not a lazy bastard in the kitchen. An he doesn't "insist" on driving, he doesn't mind one way or another, I would say.

There seem to be a number of reasons, then.

1. PA partners who sign and harrumph if their partners drive.

1. Women who like to nap and play on their phones sit in the passenger seat.

1. Some traditional roles, women sit in the back or the passenger seat.

1. Some LHD cars (actually, I did look yesterday when I saw the last one just in case).

1. Some women who see driving as a household chore and like to get out of it.

1. Some arseholes.

Have I missed anything?

*sigh not sign

DP enjoys driving and is better at parking than I am. I am good at map reading/ directing and I don't get any pleasure from driving. He does say that I am a better driver than he is, but our set up works for us as it is.

YY to him being in charge of the barbecue, I'm not happy messing around with the flames and he is. He isn't lazy in the kitchen though, before I started mat leave he did 90% of the cooking because he was home before me.

Again, he says that I'm a better cook, but he is generally more confident than I am, so I prefer him to do certain things like phone calls cos I hate them and he does them because he loves me.

Shit, I sound like a proper wimp, but my point is I CAN do these things, I just prefer not to, just like I deal with dead things the cat brings in etc because he doesn't like doing it!

If my DH is in the car with me, I drive. I've had my licence for 20 years, he's had his for 3- simple!

When I pick DH up there are loads of wives who get out and let the man of the house drive. I don't. We share driving on the long journey to see our familes and of course when the DCs we were each only too glad to be the driver as that was the easy part!

DH and I love driving equally so although I wouldn't deliberately move over if I was picking him up I would happily let him have a turn if he asks. Its 50/50 here.

It's the moving over that interests me. My DH drives sometimes and I let him, grudgingly don't mind. I just can't imagine either of us swapping for a short journey. Of course, if we were driving 400 miles, we would take turns. It seems like for a few minute drive, there must be a real reason to swap. Otherwise, why bother?