To not want my dp to go on holiday with another woman?

[SleepyDopeyGrumpy]

His best friend who he has been intimate with in the past and who he spends a lot of time with.

AIBU?

Run for your life here. There is unresolved stuff going on here and you haven't been together long enough to deal with it.

He has said he won't go if it bothers you but I promise you his BF will use it to stir down the line "oooh she's so controlling etc."

I have had very close male friends and would never in a million years have gone on a solo holiday with a guy who had a girlfriend, even though totally platonic between us. Would just feel strange.

To be honest I am now struggling to understand why this is even a question. He sounds massively twatty.

Did he tell you that you seem aggressive? Is this part of his 'don't start' line of shut uppery.

Don't be aggressive. Just say 'i know you are the man who makes lesbians want you but you are dreaming if you think you can make me think this is ok. Do what you like. She is welcome to you'

Sounds very odd. And I do go on holiday every year with my ex leaving OH behind.

I would definitely want to meet ex's new squeeze, and would try very hard to make them come too. But we usually go with our mutual son, his current GF and his ex GF (and some random friends and relations)

And another 250 Tudors. So we might not be
a) Normal or
b) The best example.

I'm not starting, I'm ending. This relationship. Goodbye.

how often do you see this man, and have you ever met his family or been to his house?

"Has just told me not to start and if I have that much of a problem with it then he just wont go."

I get a feeling that the lesbian line was used to keep him at a reachable (if required) distance by a woman who he'd drop you like a hot potato for if she ever fancied being more than bonk buddies! I've had my share of lying little turds over the years, including one who sounds very much like yours (he said I was unreasonable for being angry when I found out he was lying about where he was when he was meeting up with women I'd never even heard about, let alone met, for exclusive little drink things). Get yourself and your kids out of this 'relationship' now Hun, he sounds like an arse! X

My ex had a friend who was mostly a lesbian, until he left me for her. (my revenge was to slag him off here on the day of his wanky handfasting thread, but that's another story)

I cant flame you OP, I was once as willing to engage with this sort of shit as you seem to be, but I can tell you that once you wise up to people like your "D"P and realise they are not worth the bother, or so much as a second of your time, life improves so much.

I don't think they're partners. I bet they have that more-than-friends dynamic where they play out the same behaviour as you would in a relationship but without anything official or actually wanting to be together. Hence why she's uncomfortable with meeting the actual girlfriend- she may not want to be in a relationship with him but she doesn't want anyone else interfering with the sex and closeness they have. And you can't say anything because then you're jealous/interfering/damaging their friendship. It's a horrible position to be in that leaves you, as the new partner, feeling like an intruder and usurper and like you are somehow in the wrong.

If he wanted to sleep with her he wouldn't need to go on holiday to do it though as she spends every Thursday night at his flat.

She is there this wednesday and thursday but he has told me not to be so worried because as its my birthday wednesday he has chosen to spend it with me instead of her so that shows he is not disregarding my feelings about her.

YANBU.

"The other women does not feel comfortable spending time with me and i have yet to meet her."

Sorry but that rings alarm bells. People are usually very happy to meet the person who's making their "best friend" happy.

why is she spending every Thursday night at his place? Do you mean she stays the night? What is the reason for this - does she live a long way away?

"She spends every Thursday night at his flat"

"If he wanted to sleep with her he wouldn't need to go on holiday to do it though as she spends every Thursday night at his flat.

She is there this wednesday and thursday but he has told me not to be so worried because as its my birthday wednesday he has chosen to spend it with me instead of her so that shows he is not disregarding my feelings about her."

Sleepy I am going to leave this thread and try to forget it because it is upsetting me. You are entering into a really bad relationship. Please read the comments people have left here. If he can't be nice for two months WTF will he be like after two years?

I have the feeling you would like the relationship to go ahead so I don't know if this thread is comfortable reading for you. I think from what you have said tbh he is not a nice guy. If the sex is brilliant or he makes you laugh or somehow you get something positive out of this , ok , you have to know what you are doing. The set-up with this woman is unusual and I would get out of it before I got too entangled personally.

He's fucking you both. Literally and metphorically.

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=jason+king&hl=en&sa=X&biw=1138&bih=533&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnso&tbnid=lVK1Y3izlMXNRM:&imgrefurl=www.dvdtalk.com/reviews/28850/jason-king/&docid=YIiknRrlrKdzVM&imgurl=www.dvdtalk.com/reviews/images/reviews/190/1182834429_1.jpg&w=400&h=300&ei=1ELWT9jrEq-a1AWpnPmHBA&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=367&vpy=152&dur=118&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=84&ty=90&sig=109694175791314484731&page=2&tbnh=143&tbnw=191&start=12&ndsp=19&ved=1t:429,r:9,s:12,i:206" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Is this your DP OP?

oh, he chose to spend your birthday with you - whoop-de-fucking-do! Are you so lonely that you think that what he is doing is anywhere near ok.

Sleepy wake up and smell the fucking lying cheating arsehole that he is!!!

She spends a night at his flat once a week? He's sacrificing an evening with her so he can be with you on your birthday. What a fucking saint he is.

Seriously. Get rid NOW.

oh do me a favour!

Carry on with your ostrich act, ignoring every point put to you.

Seems to me you wouldn't accept what we can all plainly see from what you describe even if you walked in on him balls deep in her.

I wish you all the luck in the world and I hope that he doesn't make you too unhappy or hurt you too badly. Please try to protect yourself.

I did actually once go on a long-arranged and platonic holiday with an ex-boyfriend a few weeks after getting together with a new boyfriend. I can't imagine the new boyfriend was bowled over with joy when I told him this was happening, but he was utterly decent about the whole thing. In return I introduced him to the ex-boyfriend asap and made sure to ring/text him every day from the holiday (from my single room after I'd bid a chaste goodnight to the ex).

However, the fact the new boyfriend won't introduce you to his best friend is red flag-tastic and I'd suggest you politely bid him farewell.

And use a condom!!