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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be furious with the way I was treated at Zara?

181 replies

VeryAngry · 10/06/2012 00:06

Right, so how many times have you seen women at Zara (or any other store for that matter) trying on things like jackets or coats over their shirts in front of one of the store mirrors? I see it all the time.
Do you always take a coat/jacket into the fitting room especially if it's the only thing you want to try on and there is a long cue? I doubt it.

So today at a Zara store, I was trying on a jacket over my T-shirt in front of one of the store mirrors. I was not the only one doing this, there were at least 6 other women in the same store trying on things outside the fitting room.
An extremely rude zara employee came up to me and told me that I couldn't try anything on unless I took it into the fitting room. Despite her tone and rude manner of speaking, I politely assured her that I was not interested in trying on any dresses/blouses/jeans etc., I only wanted a new jacket which I could easily try over my T-shirt. She said it was against the rules to try anything outside the fitting room "for security reasons". This was completely odd to me as I have tried on jackets on the store floor several times in zara and I've never been stopped. Nevertheless, I let it go and carried on browsing.

Not even 5 minutes later I saw a woman trying on a skirt in front of the same mirror and the same Zara employee said nothing to her. Another woman came and tried on a top and wasn't stopped either.

I was upset. Firstly, I was unaware of any such rule at any store and secondly, if such a rule did exist why was she stopping only me? Why not the others? i have no issues with such a rule as long as it is enoforced on everyone and not selectively.

I approached the employee and asked her why she didn't stop the lady who had tired on the skirt and jacket on the shop floor instead of the fitting room, if it was indeed against the rules. She started addressing me very rudely and began a torrent of arguments saying it was for "security reasons". Now this befuddles me! Do the "security reasons" apply only to me? Did I look like a thief to her? I told her I didn't appreciate her tone and that she had no business speaking to me so rudely. She even snapped "Do you want the clothes or not?" I asked her to explain herself calmly and politely. Instead, she said that if I didn't "stop", she was going to call security Angry Angry. I was fuming by now. I told her to go right ahead and call security. While she did that, I asked another employee that I wanted to speak to the manager.
Throughout this time, people kept trying on various items of clothing on the shop floor and nobody stopped them. I thought this was blatant discrimination.

The manager was completely unhelpful and she wouldn't even give me the employee's name so that I could lodge a complaint. She kept saying she would have to see the CCTV footage herself before she could take any action. This was extremely insulting because it made me feel like I was some kind of liar- which I most certainly am not.
I told her I wanted an apology from the woman who spoke to me so rudely and insulted me in front of other customers. She said she couldn't arrange that unless she had heard the employee's side of the story. She told me that if I was that keen on taking action I could wait until the store closed. This was at 4pm. Zara closes at 9pm at westfields on a saturday. Interestingly, not once did she confirm that the employee was right and that zara did have any such rule regarding where jackets could be tried on.

What galls me is that all this time women kept trying on clothes in the store instead of the fitting room and and nobody said a word to them. I have been shopping at Zara for years now and never before have I been made aware of this rule.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 10/06/2012 09:15

TBH, having seen your responses here I doubt you were calm and unfailingly polite when talking to the shop assistant. I would love to hear her side of it.

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 10/06/2012 09:17

YANBU, but I wouldn't blame it on the individual assistant or demand an apology. I think issues like this are always attributable to bad management/training, and I'd escalate it as high as I could (circumventing the store supervisor, who seems to be the victim of poor management/training as well).

Ask head office to confirm whether there's a policy and what it is, and to explain why you were told not to try things on when other customers weren't. Suggest the compensation/apology you think it warrants e.g. a gift voucher for however much and a written apology from them at head office.

CurrySpice · 10/06/2012 09:22

While I think it's a bit odd, I don't think I could've brought myself to give enough of a shiny shit to match up to the assistant and confront her again. So yes yabu

CharltonHairstyle · 10/06/2012 09:24

I think you should let it go.

Life is too short

SinisterBuggyMonth · 10/06/2012 10:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

saintmerryweather · 10/06/2012 10:23

on seeing other people trying stuff on outside the changing rooms id have just tried the jacket on again to see if i got approached a second time

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 10/06/2012 10:33

I would have been marked and would have said something politely. I would have already sent off my email to head office.
But based on your responses on this thread you do sound bonkers.
So I am wavering between yabu and yanbu

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 10/06/2012 10:33

Narked

SinisterBuggyMonth · 10/06/2012 10:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Latara · 10/06/2012 10:57

I have MH probs but i'm now off mood stabilizing (anti-epileptic) drugs due to crappy side effects.
So my mood swings are bad & i can get angry quickly.
Currently i'm learning to control my temper in stressful situations & i've been successful so far.
So i probably would not have reacted like the OP. But i would definitely have felt annoyed, & said (calmly & maturely) that i didn't think the shop assistant was being fair.
I would also have asked why they thought i may be a shoplifter so i knew whatever it was about me that gave them reason to think it.

I work in a hospital so i see patients & visitors losing their cool for all kinds of reasons - i've learnt to step back & consider what those reasons might be, tolerate their behaviour & deal with the cause.
However that's what you are supposed to do as a nurse.
Shop assistants are there to sell clothes, not worry about customers losing their temper.
YABU for throwing a tantrum, but YANBU because it was an unfair situation.
Difficult to judge you really so i won't.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 10/06/2012 10:58

No. I said based on her responses on this thread she sounded bonkers.
I was very careful to make that distinction.
She might be as calm as the Round Pound on summer's day in RL.

Northernlurker · 10/06/2012 11:04

OP - she singled you out because she thought you were going to steal it. Yes security reasons meant you looked like a thief. Maybe they have a shoplifter description that matches yours, maybe it was something in the way you behaved. People steal stuff from shops ALL the time. When I worked in a shop I've followed people around to make sure nothing disappeared in to their pockets.

You are way over-reacting to this. Just never go in Zara again. There. they've lost your custom and you'll need to spend your squillions somewhere else.

AndFanjoWasHisNameO · 10/06/2012 11:21

Hmm, where as I agree in theory that you are in the right to be upset at what happened. I feel that you are so enraged that you cannot take any other comments on board.
You have ignored the posters who have reminded you that store security discuss potential lifters with each other from all stores (just stand near one and listen to the descriptions) - yet hinted that this could have been racist / disablist etc with no grounds.
Well done on the posh handbag Hmm but Winona Ryder has probably got more expensive toilet seats. Lots of people get kicks from it like me stealing ashtrays as a student

Soooo YANBU but YABU to not just dust yourself off an complain properly rather than popping back and forth like a deranged fishwife.

Latara · 10/06/2012 12:04

VeryAngry - personally i would take a deep breath & think, today's a different day.

If i were you i would get the incident out of my system by returning to Zara.
If you see the shop assistant or manager then smile nicely & say 'oh, hello, sorry for losing my temper last time we met, by the way what horrible weather we're having'.

Whatever response you get: DO NOT be tempted to discuss the incident, if they try to discuss it just change the subject by commenting on the weather again. If they apologise just say, 'thanks that's nice of you', & DO NOT get angry again.
Spend 5 mins choosing an item to try on then take it to the changing room.
Even if you don't buy the item, you will feel much better for being the bigger person by showing that you are actually nice & lovely.

Then walk out (keep smiling) & go to de-stress by having a hot drink & piece of cake (not a big piece or you won't fit their clothes anymore - just like me!)

It's the best thing honestly, you will feel awful & self-conscious but going back in there & behaving differently despite their treatment of you last time is the best thing to do.
You will find the anger & stress lifts because when you smile & are nice to people (who don't actually deserve it) then you feel good.

Remember in future awkward situations: When you smile at people & are super nice (& state your point assertively yet calmly & politely), it's very difficult for them to continue being rude or to bitch about you. It just makes THEM look bad.

Latara · 10/06/2012 12:05

Ps. £800 on a purse?
Nooo spend it on jewellery instead... i would.

TheMonster · 10/06/2012 12:08

Another good reason to not shop at Zara. Snooty shop staff looking down their noses at people.

VeryAngry · 10/06/2012 12:11

Right, people here seem to think one can just walk out with a jacket that has a security device on it and I'm nuts?
You know those things that beep when you exit the store? You know those plastic devices that are attached to every item of clothing in Zara which they take off once you pay for them? How exactly can anyone shoplift from Zara unless she has some magic ability to take the security device off? The whole idea is bizarre.

I am also appalled by the suggestion that I should never go to Zara again. Why not?! I am not a shoplifter, I did nothing wrong, why exactly should I then stop going there?

I can't understand the fuss over my handbag and I am a bit surprised by the people who said they don't see expensive handbags on women in everyday life. Gosh, I see women on the London Underground and in malls like Westfields carrying designer bags all the time! And I don't think a Louis Vuitton or Gucci bag is that difficult to spot even for a shop assistant.

Despite having explained repeatedly that I did not confront her angrily or raise my voice, I can't understand what is the provocation for calling me a deranged fishwife or bonkers.

OP posts:
CurrySpice · 10/06/2012 12:12

I don't think you're bonkers. Just getting worked up about nothing

Birdsgottafly · 10/06/2012 12:24

I would also like to know how they distinguish what a shoplifter looks like, in London.

I was shopping (pulling a suitcase and carrying dresses in a suit carrier)around Regent street and because of the mix of tourists, there isn't a 'type' as such, in the way you have in other places.

There is the full mix of people.

OP i would complain to head office, you will at least get an apology from them.

She is at fault, it shouldn't take training to know how to speak politely to people, or give good custmer service, although having been to London for the first time in quite a while, i think for many that would be the case

MooncupGoddess · 10/06/2012 12:25

It is horrible to be treated like a suspected shoplifter - it happened to me once in Lidl and I was traumatised and furious too. So I have sympathy with you there, OP.

However, the bag thing is a bit weird - shoplifting in clothes stores is not usually about saving money, it's a psychological issue and rich people do it too. And personally I really couldn't tell the difference between an £800 handbag and a cheap knock-off, and I'm sure I'm not alone!

AgentZigzag · 10/06/2012 12:30

You sound very angry with the replies you don't like VeryAngry.

You must be very out of touch with reality if you think most people notice whether a woman's got a crappy 'I saw you coming' overpriced tat of a designer handbag!

If I did happen to notice, I'd wonder why the person felt the need to try and show off their gullibility to others.

choceyes · 10/06/2012 12:31

OP,YANBU at all. The posters that are saying that you are getting worked up about nothing are being unreasonable.

It is not nothing. When you witness discrimination like that or if the shop assistant has decided that you look like a shop lifter, then that is very hurtful. I would have got pretty upset and close to tears if I was in a similar situation and I am normally a level headed person, and things don't bother me much at all. But discrimination and unfairness is not something I can tolerate. and you shouldn't have had to put up with. They should have a blanket policy of not allowing people to try on clothes on the shop floor, if they were going to make judgements about who looks like a shop lifter and who doesn't, or if a jacket is more likely to get nicked than a skirt etc etc.

LemarchandsBox · 10/06/2012 12:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

emsyj · 10/06/2012 12:35

I haven't seen any rudeness or temper-losing from the OP, despite some very nasty and bitchy replies on here. I don't see any evidence at all for her being 'bonkers' or a 'nightmare'.

There are, however, some really unnecessarily vile and obnoxious replies from other posters. Tis rather like being back at primary school!

Northernlurker · 10/06/2012 12:36

How do you shoplift with tags on? Well I've never done it but I've seen plenty of people walk past the doors, set off the alarms and nothing happen. If you're brazen enough you'll get away it.